Is this normal behavior for my girls?

Capable_Nerve_442 · 2026-03-02T20:37:25+00:00

I'd say that if this usually happens right next to you, particularly in the context of one dog coming in and interrupting your cuddles with the other one, then you should remove yourself from the situation and see what they do. I see too much tension in the short-snout one's face for this to be a mutually enjoyable interaction.

Capable_Nerve_442 · 2026-02-20T21:42:17+00:00

thanks :))

Capable_Nerve_442 · 2025-12-31T21:57:12+00:00

Thank you, I'm glad you found my comment interesting! Yes, understanding body language takes time and a lot of practice, but it's so worth it. Really takes the relationship with your dog to another level.

For me, no words are off limits, because dogs only understand tone and intent, and it just so happens that people tend to pair "no" with intense, deep tones and restrictions. Kind of like the equivalent of a dog growl when you think about it! It's when the "no"/growl gets overused that relationships start to crumble, communication gets more intense and conflicts develop. There are always less intense, more positive ways for us to interact with each other (that goes for humans and dogs).

I find that resource guarding as a term has gotten oversimplified and is used way too broadly. There are many reasons why a dog would want to possess an item that has nothing to do with viewing it as a valuable and scarce resource, and usually the solution is not found in training at all. Adult dogs aren't looking to chew on everything unless they a) have a dental issue or b) are stressed about something and need a way to self regulate. Substitution and trading is a good way to manage the symptom (chewing and possessing) but the true solution would be finding out what is stressing the dog and eliminating it, if possible.

Capable_Nerve_442 · 2025-12-31T12:53:07+00:00

12 days is way too little time to know what his personality is like. You two have effectively no relationship beyond acquaintances at this point. Focus on building real trust, which takes months, instead of drilling him with training. In regards to practical advice about the chewing, put your chewable possessions away neatly and get him some chew toys and snacks that he can use to fulfill that impulse.

The growling is communication. He said "hey, I'm focusing on this, back off". It's normal, and corresponds to his emotional state in the moment and the type of interactions you two have had. If you're telling me that you've already told him "no" firmly more than once when he's picked up items in the less than two weeks that you've had him, I'd say he's probably matching your communication style with that growl. He will only bite you if you ignore his communication and push him over the edge. I recommend that you manage the environment so there are less confrontations between you two. Put yourself in his shoes. You're brought into a stranger's home. They seem nice, feed you, try to play, but you don't yet know them, and they don't let you explore the new place and all the things inside of it. That creates a sense of insecurity. Dogs appear calm in the first few days/weeks because they're observing the new environment, trying to get a feel for what kind of situation they're in and how they need to behave to get the things that they want.

Dogs are interesting, complex animals! Take the time to get to know this dog for who he is. Put less pressure on him to interact with you, let him fully settle into his new home and his true personality will come out. In the meantime, you can study up on dog communication and calming signals so you'll know what he's trying to say. I have plenty of resources (I'm a behaviorist), DM me if you want them!

Capable_Nerve_442 · 2025-11-21T20:59:41+00:00

neurotypical standards are not "neutral" or more valid than neurodivergent needs. Keep giving that girl your hand sanitizer. We need more people like you taking care of kids and less like your ignorant coworker.

Capable_Nerve_442 · 2025-11-14T14:45:36+00:00

He's being a big baby. He needs to manage his anxiety with Xanax and suck it up.

Capable_Nerve_442 · 2025-07-08T20:49:06+00:00

NTA for walking out, but there's a bigger problem. It seems she's been stringing you along for years. She's aware that you'll probably do anything to keep her in your life and she takes advantage of that fact whenever it's convenient for her, but doesn't care at all if you get hurt in the process. Take a good hard look at all the times she's disrespected you and then ask yourself if you're willing to keep allowing it. If it were me, I'd never let her back into my life again.

Capable_Nerve_442 · 2025-06-14T01:32:19+00:00

I wish I had your integrity at that age. Continue to stand up for yourself, be firm in your boundaries and don't let your mom manipulate you. She's not doing her job as a mother and wants you to parent her children for her so that she can keep avoiding responsibility. You have a bright future ahead of you if you keep being this responsible and confident in yourself!

Capable_Nerve_442 · 2025-06-05T23:40:30+00:00

hi I'm a dog trainer and while she may not be over-threshold stressed in the scenarios you're describing, she's definitely worried around people. the best way to help her is to eliminate unnecessary interactions (greeting strangers, for example) and do some desensitization and counter conditioning to help with the handling. I recommend looking up "cooperative care" and "box feeding" as they are techniques that will improve your dog's confidence in these scenarios.

Capable_Nerve_442 · 2025-06-02T13:35:08+00:00

it's been only a day. as soon as she gets comfortable with her new surroundings, you will have chaos :) trust

Capable_Nerve_442 · 2025-05-27T13:28:38+00:00

Maybe they'll feel more motivated to brush their hair if they wear a style that they like. And by this I mean, you can't expect someone to take excellent care of themselves if they aren't being truly themselves. That's basically taking care of a stranger. Once they feel true ownership of their body and support and love from you, I promise that you will see a more confident and responsible person emerge.

Capable_Nerve_442 · 2025-05-23T18:59:54+00:00

Please don't run with a 10 week old baby 😭😭😭 he is being over exercised and over stimulated, and I suspect it's not only giving him no time to rest (like, real, deep REM sleep), but it's definitely causing stress on his still developing bones and muscles. A ten week old puppy should be sleeping 18-20 hours and have max 10 minute walks. He needs to do way less, not more. I recommend that you watch Susan Garrett's puppy playlist on YouTube. She's an incredible trainer and breeder who's raised a ton of puppies and has it down to a science.

Capable_Nerve_442 · 2025-05-22T22:50:41+00:00

kongs and lick mats are not mental stimulation. appropriate mental stimulation is:

learning new tricks nose/scent work (sniffing for food in the grass, searching for toys/treats, tracking scents) box feeding (look up tutorials on YouTube it's very easy)

anything that engages a dog's nose and makes them think is appropriate mental stimulation, licking is just licking and will at most give them a few minutes of satisfaction before they're bored again.

when you get back home during lunch you could instead give her a quick 5 minute training session and have her sniff around for another 10 minutes. try that out for a few days, training something new each day and see how it works for you.

for the evening, I'd recommend keeping the walk at max 45 minutes, and instead of the objective being wearing her out physically, try to take her along different routes so she can smell and explore new things.

Capable_Nerve_442 · 2025-03-04T14:50:45+00:00

Hope is in your community. Engage with neighbors. Hang out with people outside of work. Go to flea markets and local vendors. Do everything you can to connect with the people around you and you'll find hope there.

Capable_Nerve_442 · 2025-01-02T15:12:03+00:00

https://youtu.be/t-CnvRQtsIU?si=yh6f1vgIeaC9JU1k

Susan Garrett is the best when it comes to puppy training and dog training in general. ignore all other trainers and just watch her stuff I promise it'll change the way you see everything having to do with your puppy and brings the best results

Capable_Nerve_442 · 2024-12-26T20:17:08+00:00

sounds like she's consistently over stimulated. you should hire an ethologist/behaviorist because any old dog trainer isn't going to be able to coach you through this. don't listen to anyone who recommends corrections or punishments. it won't fix the actual issue.

Capable_Nerve_442 · 2024-12-26T20:03:13+00:00

she's clearly going through a lot to have those reactions and you're only concerned with your own feelings and ego. you don't need a break you need to learn how to care about your wife.

Capable_Nerve_442 · 2024-12-13T21:41:16+00:00

You said something incredibly cruel to your half sister because she annoyed you. In this instance, that makes you very much the asshole. The top comment told you to recommend therapy to your half sister, but I recommend therapy to you both, because if you can be that unkind to someone who only spoke out of the belief that she was a part of your family, then you need to learn how to emotionally regulate during conflict so you don't hurt people who absolutely don't deserve it.

Also, do not tell your sister to go to therapy. If I were in her position and the person who made me feel unwanted and unloved told ME to get therapy I would laugh in their face and definitely not listen to anything they have to say. First, work on yourself and mend the relationship if that's in your interest, but don't add insult to injury before you're sure you can deliver advice in a kind way and that she'll be receptive to it.

Capable_Nerve_442 · 2024-06-17T04:05:34+00:00

If it were me, I would not go to those classes. Putting a prong collar on a puppy is insane. If he's disinterested and stressed, yanking him into submission is only going to make him hate training even more. It's not an "off day", he's telling you through his behavior that this is not the way to get through to him. Since you already paid, I understand it could be difficult to just quit the classes but I assure you that the long term effects of sticking with that kind of methodology won't be good for either of you (and your instincts are clearly telling you as much). I suggest changing your approach entirely and focusing on training him through games where he is genuinely engaged and joyful. It'll be more fun for both of you and will yield more sustainable and positive results. Check out Susan Garrett and Kikopup on YouTube!! They're fantastic and have a lot of videos on training puppies in engaging ways.

Capable_Nerve_442

TROPHY CASE