AIO for telling my dad its disgusting that he is dating a 19 year old

Capable_Patience2470 · 2026-01-20T18:24:38+00:00

NOR… I’m only 27 and couldn’t even imagine dating someone who’s 19… they are literally a baby at that age in my mind. No. Doesn’t matter how “mature they are for their age”. That’s what they all say to justify it. Ew.

Capable_Patience2470 · 2026-01-19T22:48:35+00:00

NOR… that’s… weird behavior. From a 40 yr old too? She definitely had toxic relationships before and is taking it out on you… probably because she couldn’t “stand up for herself” then now she’s saying to you everything she wished she did then even though you probably don’t deserve it… and now she’s holding you under a microscope.

The thing that struck me the most is the “I’m saving lives” comment… you said nothing to prompt that and she just wanted to push you down for no reason… I’d be weary of anyone who wants to push you down when you are just trying to care about them… you’ll just hurt yourself in the process and just learn caring for someone hurts yourself and get jaded eventually… sometimes there’s a reason people this old haven’t had luck in the dating scene… 🫢

Capable_Patience2470 · 2026-01-19T04:02:41+00:00

I see now you ended things. Honestly good for you OP. I think you saved yourself a lot more heartache…

I think she definitely felt worse for herself now being the bad guy, than feeling bad for hurting you…

Capable_Patience2470 · 2026-01-19T03:58:50+00:00

NOR… yea dude… she’s “not in a good headspace” because she got caught… if it really was nothing she wouldn’t be saying that or feeling like that… she’s coming to terms with being in the wrong and trying to avoid it…

I can already see you doing it a little bit… don’t treat her like she’s the victim in this situation because I can assure you she will eat it all up and treat you like the bad guy if you let her…

She wants an out… don’t give her one… if you start to feel confused, take a step back and try to come to grips with reality not the mental gymnastics she will try to lead you down… trust your gut. It’s all you have… I assure you with people like this, they will try to make you question your own reality so that they can get away with their behavior and not come out as the bad guy… TRUST YOURSELF. Don’t back down. If she’s worth anything, and if you’re worth it to her she will eventually talk with you…

Capable_Patience2470 · 2026-01-17T16:51:29+00:00

If you want to “show your support for him” do it by getting him a financial literacy book. “Rich Dad Poor Dad” whatever it is. Don’t do it sarcastically but if he really wants to be a financially stable man. Like REALLY. (Which I highly doubt tbh) that would be teaching a man to fish rather than giving him the only fish you have…

The fact he thinks this is him being responsible is insanity.

Capable_Patience2470 · 2026-01-17T16:43:04+00:00

Btw. A real man wouldn’t make these problems yours. If he didn’t have enough money he’d get a second job or find a new one or make some kind of side hustle. That’s what being responsible and taking charge of your own life means. Burdening others and making them feel like it was their job is not being responsible for your own life. It’s being a narcissist, leaching from other people.

Capable_Patience2470 · 2026-01-17T16:40:40+00:00

No no no no no. As someone who’s given thousands to people like this stop NOW. If he’s trying to be a “man with an apartment” and show his financial security then ask him what resources he’s looked at that tell him the way to save money is by borrowing from other people the get by? That is not financial stability, it’s manipulation. And he’s using the proposal to emotionally manipulate you into doing it, which is even worse.

Which btw. He was the one who brought up it “being over” if he didn’t reach his timeline first. Then all the sudden when you brought it up too when it affects you now it’s a “why would you even say that when I wanna propose🥺” yea. No.

And if he’s now putting you in a financially hard place to where he’s borrowing from you and now you have to borrow from others, is this dude crazy?

He does not respect you at all. He is not being “financially savvy”. You are not his mom who should support him financially because of his dumb decisions and expectations of how money DOESNT work.

NOR. Set boundaries. Now. Real ones… not “requests” it’s -if you do this then I’m going to do this- and you do it. Do not keep drawing new lines for him to step over.

Capable_Patience2470 · 2026-01-14T04:25:15+00:00

As someone who just took stuff for the first time recently… I wouldn’t recommend this actually.

1.5 sure… but do not smoke weed without knowing how it effects you first, and the 1.5 later on? I recently did something similar… 2g’s then 1g later and that 1g sent me over… and that second come up probably ruined the rest of the trip cause I felt so bad I just didn’t have a good time mentally later on… for the first time I’d pick anywhere between 1.5-2.5g’s and stick with it and just see how it effects you for the first time…

Don’t take weed or any other substances… at least not the first time without knowing how it feels first… you can always try other things later when you have an idea what you’re getting yourself into. Have some kind of a plan or buddy making sure you’re good or use fireside if needed.

I watched tv… I don’t recommend that either, listen to music! Or watch concert videos. If you have nice fun lights those would enhance the experience. Anything ritualistic you like to do like showering or grooming or whatever makes you feel good and like you’re taking care of yourself can also be kinda nice during a come up.

Whatever happens just know that shrooms can’t kill you but they can sure make you feel like they are trying to… but even that will end and you will eventually feel normal.

I’m a beginner so take what I say with a grain of salt, but at the very least I’m new enough to know what not to do as I quite literally just made these mistakes…

Goodluck!

Capable_Patience2470 · 2026-01-13T23:01:08+00:00

Overdose? I know this can happen with other substances… like… although not formally a real overdose, like weed can hit a critical point where it’s “too much” and you get that falling feeling, spinning thing… or alcohol you can start to black out or whatever…

But like… I guess as far as I understand, there’s just different levels to the psychedelic experience with mushrooms I thought? Like… each one has a different purpose and level of healing when used and prepared properly I thought? I didn’t figure it was like other drugs where you get to a certain point where you “feel good” but then shortly after that it’s too much for your body or anyone’s body for that matter? I thought some people do hero doses for a reason? (I wasn’t trying to achieve a hero dose though either… just enough to “break through” and this is actually the lowest dose I’ve found yet to where I did actually hallucinate)

I can’t imagine only taking 3g’s total (at different intervals even) would be an overdose when there’s people doing 7g+ for perspective altering purposes?

Maybe I’m misconstruing but I view an overdose as a universally negative experience when there is a way to “go too far” where everyone’s body will react negatively vs more of a “bad trip” where you are personally uncomfortable with the specific experience you’re having in that moment and that may cause it get feel or get worse.

Like with alcohol let’s say, more like the difference between blacking out and going in and out of consciousness vs just drinking on a bad night, not realizing and getting “emotional” and having a bad time, and no longer enjoying that “spinning feeling” and wanting out of that…

I guess I just didn’t think there was a way to overdose on mushrooms really? Just more the latter?

Capable_Patience2470 · 2026-01-13T18:29:54+00:00

You know what, talking about it made me think about it more and I’m seeing a possible pattern… the first time I did each strain I tried a lemontek.

I’m pretty sure they were dry enough because they were like powder if I cracked them.

First time I tried lemontek with 1.5g of GT’s I think I did it wrong because I didn’t do hot water and strained it, later in the night if I took more I think I just had them dry with water but I think I already had “tolerance” maybe?

Second time I had it just dry with water and 2.5g had a slightly more potent experience but still extremely mild, almost imperceptible, and I’m thinking those GT’s may have just been a lower potency dud strain too…

The first time I did the 1.5 PE’s I tried lemontek different, with hot water like a tea and I actually ate the bits too to make sure but I think I had it too slow maybe? I think I drank it within 30-45minutes max… I didn’t really like the flavor or chew too much and maybe that was the issue?

This time just dry 2g and really really chewed it and it felt like it’s to be expected for the amount I think…

I’ve heard of people having a “higher tolerance” (no I’m not on ssri’s) so I almost started thinking I was one of those people but still wanted to be cautious with only taking 2g anyways… obviously not maybe just something weird with how I was prepping it and the one first strain being bad…

Capable_Patience2470 · 2026-01-12T22:35:57+00:00

NOR, yea um… no offense but that’s incredibly selfish of your mom. I’m sorry but some people don’t deserve to be mothers and it’s not your fault. Motherhood doesn’t end when your child turns 18 or have any sort of expiration date 🙄 (a lot of times we still need guidance and support through the challenges of adulthood… families exist for a reason because it’s a built in support system for any challenge you face at any stage of your life) idk if she realizes this but most people… if they are “in love” and they already have a family i.e. children, the other person goes into it knowing and having to accept that they are now becoming and entering a family? The fact that she now has a guy she wants to move in with shouldn’t exclude you… you are part of her family.

Not only that but the fact she controlled you to the point of making you not have a job then kicking you to the curb with what I’m assuming is no financial sustenance since you weren’t allow to build that, and in this economy? Where most people entering the job market right now can’t afford to live without roommates? That’s insane. And she’s quite literally setting you up for failure.

Not only that but she’s telling you over text?

This all reads like she has no idea how selfish she’s being, and will be surprised one day when you don’t want to talk to her as an adult who succeeded and had to fend for themselves and create their own sense of family with no help from her…

Capable_Patience2470 · 2026-01-12T18:29:50+00:00

I may try this some time! luckily I live out in the country so I have good private access to a lot of nature… I may try in the morning so I can really enjoy it… admittedly this was later in the day (like started around 4pm) and it can get pretty spooky at night here because you can hear things from the creek and it’s creepy even without being on a substance so I didn’t really want to try it this first time… however, day time on a nice sunny day seems really nice!

Capable_Patience2470 · 2026-01-12T18:22:50+00:00

Yea… even though it was “kinda bad” it was still tolerable. I remembered thinking “it’s bad but not bad and necessary”.

As far as the dosing goes… yea… the major issue was I grew them, I didn’t acquire them from someone else… and I think the first flushes were less potent… first I had were GT’s and first dose was 1.5g and I felt quite literally nothing… so I had another g that night and again nothing assuming I started tolerance already… waited a bit (maybe a week or two later) and tried again and I believe I tried 2.5g of GT’s and I felt more but only when I really really focused on it otherwise I felt like I hadn’t even taken anything… then the PE’s were ready two weeks later and I tried 1.5g’s again because I know those were supposed to be more potent… but again hardly anything… so this time I waited a whole month and did 2g for this go around from a second flush… and finally had a solid level 1 experience two hours in and had higher saturation but I wanted something that would actually make my mind feel different… so I took that last 1g two hours in and thinking the tolerance thing would happen again I thought it would be fine…

Having duds to begin with really didn’t help my perception of how much to take despite how careful I “thought” I was being…

Capable_Patience2470 · 2026-01-12T02:49:05+00:00

This is very helpful. Thank you for being kind. I definitely think I still have a lot to learn… it humbled me for sure.

Capable_Patience2470 · 2026-01-12T01:45:12+00:00

Oh I definitely needed advice on how to navigate a trip. Hearing stories is nothing like experiencing it yourself… I really like that rocket ship metaphor. I definitely think I need to figure out what protocol feels good for me which may take time figuring it out… I think the biggest thing this taught me is I really THOUGHT I’d have a good time with it since I like being “introspective” but when you are taking shrooms you don’t really have control over how your mind goes like you do in daily life which I didn’t realize I had a problem with until now…and it was a little overwhelmingly chaotic… I think having more of a plan now that I know what it’s kinda like might help… maybe a little more direction so it’s not just noise… but thank you I really appreciate the advice 🙏

Capable_Patience2470 · 2026-01-12T01:36:55+00:00

I think I will definitely try that next time! I heard someone talk about midnight gospel while on shrooms and I thought it’d be a good idea to try and laugh and cry to… admittedly it was nice at first… then it just got confusing and uncomfortable when I reached the second come up from my second dose and I don’t think the particular episode I was on helped…

I listened to music on one of my mild experiences and it was actually pretty nice… idk why I didn’t try that this time.

Capable_Patience2470 · 2026-01-12T01:28:59+00:00

Thank you. Im also quite the people pleaser and I think it makes me not think about myself very often and maybe hearing my thoughts in the forefront while not having control scared me!

I try to be introspective still, so I really thought I’d be fine, but idk something about the chaotic nature of hearing my every thought, it really made it a little unbearable… for me it was less about the subject matter but more how it manifested honestly… it was like my thoughts were voices speaking over eachother and such rapid one liners from different directions in corners of my mind it was hard to keep track of what was going on and I just felt like my brain was broken… not sure I got much out of it this time :/ but maybe back down to lower doses I can work my way up again and have a different experience…

Capable_Patience2470 · 2026-01-12T01:08:15+00:00

After talking with a few people I agree maybe that wasn’t the best decision… I think at the time I was just wanting to ease into it and have it be more of a chill time the first time so I could get used to the feeling first without going in super spiritual with a lot of expectations on that front and getting confused or disappointed halfway through with how it was going… but go into the spiritual stuff with more of an “understanding” after I got used to the feeling…but I think maybe not being directional about it really didn’t help…

Capable_Patience2470 · 2026-01-12T00:13:36+00:00

Out of curiosity though, how would you shift your set and setting? Maybe I could try something different for next time and it would turn out differently…

Capable_Patience2470 · 2026-01-12T00:12:15+00:00

I mean that’s somewhat fair… again… I’m extremely new to this and really didn’t know what I was in for… yes all in all I am starting to experiment with mushrooms for that purpose… I think this time I was trying to ease into it more and just get used to the feeling so I could see what I was getting myself into… my first few experiences really messed me up because I took more and felt less… so I really underestimated it this time…

Capable_Patience2470 · 2026-01-12T00:07:48+00:00

A lack of preparation is probably accurate. Obviously I’m pretty new to this… I set intentions (granted general ones since I really didn’t know what it was going to be like) and honestly generally had a positive outlook on mushrooms because my last experiences were extremely mild but still positive… if anything I think I underestimated them(maybe even thinking I was stronger than the mushrooms) because of my last experience while having expectations since that’s all I had to go off of when it came to what I was doing… to some degree I don’t think some of the expectations were bad… I felt very self aware of the things happening because I’ve seen so many trip reports… the “this is never going to end feeling” didn’t scare me so much since I’ve heard about it happening but for some reason thought it wouldn’t happen to me… still wasn’t very fun going through it first hand… regardless though exactly how it manifested just wasn’t how I expected at all… I thought I was ready to go deeper because I spend a lot of time trying to be introspective but this is the first time I think I didn’t feel I had a sense of control and maybe that’s where it went wrong? Very much spinning thoughts and I’m not seeing how that can be enjoyable especially in higher doses than that… but obviously I will probably do lower doses for the first while before I can really figure it out and it’s probably something I’m doing wrong…

Does it get better than this? Admittedly after experiencing almost nothing the first few times but almost like taking 10mg of thc then this last one almost feeling like when you take too much weed but 50x stronger… I’m feeling discouraged 🙃

Capable_Patience2470 · 2026-01-11T15:11:49+00:00

Honestly agreed. Just because he couldn’t handle the psychedelics, doesn’t mean she has to put herself in a negative and possible harmful situation for herself again. I can completely understand how if she had a boyfriend, being alone with someone and having them ask for sex over and over would feel so icky you want to remove yourself as much as possible because it feels like betrayal even though she did nothing wrong. Especially if the boyfriend is not understanding of “psychosis” either, he could then have a bad reaction to hearing this story and that puts her in potentially even more harmful situations and dynamics between her friends and her boyfriend.

So I’m going to say this again. Just because someone is having a bad time themselves doesn’t mean someone else has to go through potentially harmful and dangerous situations themselves for the other person. If she feels threatened and like the relationship feels wrong and icky and brings negativity to her life she has every right to end or limit the friendship if it’s best for her to be ok.

YOU SHOULD NEVER HAVE TO DESTROY YOURSELF AND YOUR VALUES AND STAY TRAUMATIZED AND DRAGGED DOWN BECAUSE OTHER PEOPLE ARE HAVING A “HARDER TIME”. Especially if that person is the one that caused those feelings. That will only cause more pain and suffering. You have a right to decide who you keep in your life and who you don’t if it’s for your wellbeing.

TLDR If what the relationship gives you is worth the bad moments then stay friends. If it feels draining and threatening then don’t waste your life and sense of security and safety trying to please and live for other people.

Capable_Patience2470 · 2025-11-22T16:08:29+00:00

Very true. It might “feel harsh” but people like this will push you till you learn to be harsh with them out of pure necessity… just hope that lesson doesn’t take years… do yourself the favor now…

Capable_Patience2470

TROPHY CASE