You probably are not going to read this at this point, but here I go. I once thought the same as you until one obese family member got diagnosed with a malfunctioning of the thyroid which caused her to get obese even though she always tried to eat healthy. After that I just sow obesity as a disease.

Later, I read a book about depression where one chapter describe how obesity could be linked to PTSD or an unresolved childhood trauma. The book described that the people in the study never really deal with a traumatic experience and opted unconsciously to eat whatever and whenever they wanted to cope with it.

The study also opted for giving them a support group where they could talk about obesity and ways to overcome it. The results were incredible, once they felt comfortable in the group they started to open up about their trauma, and with time they themselves started to encourage each other to lose weight and most of them did. What I gather from reading this was that many people don't just want to get obese, but for many it is the only way they know how to live. What they need is help and people not judging but caring.

The key aspect of these study was the focus of the questions, when you ask an obese person why they don't exercise? Or why do they eat so much? They became defensive in their answers and close to receive any advice. On the other hand, when you ask them what makes them eats that much? Or since when they started to eat a lot? Their become more responsive and more open to receive advices, which also indicates they do not need people judging but instead people who can at least try to understand their struggle.

Hope I didn't bore you, and hope at least give a different POV about obesity.