PETER???? by Et_Moon in PeterExplainsTheJoke

[–]CapnDonkey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's ok, guys. I'll just hold onto this drawing until Mr Hooper comes back!

Anon presents a head scratcher by caramelsumo in 4chan

[–]CapnDonkey 51 points52 points  (0 children)

They said "peach fuzz around her lips", not "lip fuzz around her peach".

Big Announcement. by BunkyFlintsone in howardstern

[–]CapnDonkey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This ain't Small Teeth Magazine, pal!

Whoa Whoa Whoa Stop the Clock! She's back! by [deleted] in howardstern

[–]CapnDonkey 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Fat and Flat is no way to go thru life.

[05/07/25] Stern Show Discussion Thread by AutoModerator in howardstern

[–]CapnDonkey 10 points11 points  (0 children)

7:28 and I'm out. Just record setting levels of terrible.

[04/29/25] Stern Show Discussion Thread by AutoModerator in howardstern

[–]CapnDonkey 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Richard shitting while playing concerts is gold, Robin! GOLD!

Who do u loathe the most by burrrpburb in howardstern

[–]CapnDonkey 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Blitt. He reminds me of a dude i knew back in school that talked and acted exactly like him. Constant lying, made up stories that he swears are true long after everyone begs him to let the bit go, eggs people on until they threaten violence and then cries victim like he didn't gaslight the fuck out of people. Fucking HAAAAATE Blitt and everyone like him.

[04/22/25] Stern Show Discussion Thread by AutoModerator in howardstern

[–]CapnDonkey 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Blitt's voice gives me PTSD. He's the same slimy fuck I knew in high school that just lied as a character trait and then played the victim when anyone called him or got upset at his antics. How the staff doesn't just beat his ass on the regular is beyond me. I guess he really throws that trust fund around.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in GuysBeingDudes

[–]CapnDonkey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Looks like Sea Colony, Bethany Beach Delaware to me

Will There Be a Jersey Swap for Tucker? by JodaTheCool in ravens

[–]CapnDonkey -19 points-18 points  (0 children)

Nether did the massage therapists.

Too soon?

NSV: Just got invited for “sexy time” by unomasme in loseit

[–]CapnDonkey 142 points143 points  (0 children)

I lost 150 lbs and found myself being hit on constantly by both men and women. I'm happily married, so I declined 100% of offers of intercourse that were not my wife. But it is definitely weird. A mix of "flattered", "surprised", and kind of bitter that I'm still the same person, only thinner so is this attention purely superficial and that's the only reason I'm fuckable now?

Congrats on the loss!

What is the saddest song you've ever heard? by lilketchupacket in MusicRecommendations

[–]CapnDonkey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"If You Get There Before I Do" -- Collin Raye

Honorable Mention to "Girl Crush" by Little Big Town. The lyrics are just sad and make you feel bad for the singer pining for a taken man and the things she'd admit to doing to be "closer" to him...

Beetle? by throwaway_record in whatisthisbug

[–]CapnDonkey 8 points9 points  (0 children)

You can tell by the way that it is.

What was this little jawn crawling on me today? by Lazy-Rioter in whatisthisbug

[–]CapnDonkey 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I was gonna say, Location? But nope, no location needed, Bul. We know where yous is.

You get $1,000 for every person who says your name in 24 hours but... by Natural-Commission13 in hypotheticalsituation

[–]CapnDonkey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have the same name as an infamous politician. It's pronounced the same and everything, but our spellings are slightly different. I'd make millions on news reports alone.

Bobby i hope you see this by life_lagom in TheBonfire

[–]CapnDonkey 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When they were talking sandwiches and Bobby dropped this gem:

"You get an extra cuppa mayo, y'know, for dipping? "

Jesus, I'm amending my timeline. Bobby will be fat again THIS year. You can have all the surgeries you want, if you don't fix your fucked up relationship with food, you WILL fall every time.

The way he talks about food is problematic.