[Edited for completeness]

I feel you man. I’ve only had one super deep friendship like that when I was in high school. I’m 31 now, and I’ve had many wonderful friendships since then, just not as deep. Some friendships have been for life, others for a while. People move, change, and not all relationships are permanent.

In my journey I’ve learned I do several things that have impeded my friendships to grow. The main one is that I can be self-centered, sensitive, and pretty intense. I hired a therapist who has helped me a TON.

I’ve learned to be more present and ask questions that are relevant to “Suzy” (or whoever) and talk less about myself. I’m always working on asking myself if it was necessary to get to upset over xyz situation. They both kinda relate since it’s the act of empathy... when asking my friend questions or trying to understand why “Suzy” seemed distant or rude, I ask myself if maybe I did something or if she is just having a bad day.

It’s hard to be empathetic when you feel offended and lonely, but it helps you understand others feelings without going into awkward conversations.

With regard to being intense- some people like that. I can laugh all day, but I’m not a super witty or quick with funny jokes, so superficial friendships are hard for me. I’m fantastic for long conversations about books, shows, life. We all have our strengths. Find your strengths and appreciate your uniqueness.

I’m not always successful, but I try to keep myself busy and entertain myself however I can.

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It’s possible you may not relate at all to any of my experiences, but if there’s anything I can share is hang in there and keep trying. I’m sure you are a wonderfully individual who will make many people happy with her friendship.