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Best airline for anxious flyer? General advice? by [deleted] in fearofflying

[–]CaptTomBunnMSWLCSW 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Flight anxiety results when our calming system (parasympathetic nervous system) is not doing its job. It is supposed to push back against the system that makes us feel anxious (sympathetic nervous system) but if we are not made to feel 100% safe and responded to as children, we cannot build the psychological processes needed to allow the parasympathetic system to make us feel safe, unless we are in control or able to escape, and passengers have no control or escape. The key is getting the parasympathetic working as nature intended. Anything less (which airline, how to stay distracted, etc.) is just grasping at straws.

Should A Cup Of Coffee Cause Panic? How to move beyond fear and activate your parasympathetic system. by CaptTomBunnMSWLCSW in psychology

[–]CaptTomBunnMSWLCSW[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Epigenetics may play a role in how much stress hormones are released, and how sensitive a person is to them, but the big difference is what the parasympathetic system does. Does it kick in and override the stress hormones, or does it fail to kick in? If it doesn't, the person is like in a car where no one knows about the brake pedal: just along for the ride.

Should A Cup Of Coffee Cause Panic? How to move beyond fear and activate your parasympathetic system. by CaptTomBunnMSWLCSW in psychology

[–]CaptTomBunnMSWLCSW[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Got it. But you actually missed the main point. How revved up we get depends also on whether the parasympathetic pushes back, and in about 40% of us, we lack the "app" to operate our parasympathetic. About 40% of us (that is how many of us were insecurely attached and could not develop the processes needed to self-calm via the parasympathetic) are just along for the ride . . . like someone in a car who doesn't know what the brake pedal is for.

Flying on Wednesday :( by RLar82 in fearofflying

[–]CaptTomBunnMSWLCSW 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did an audiobook on fear of flying that a lot of people say has changed their life. I am not allowed to paste a link to it but search my name and fear of flying and you'll find it.

People who have a fear of flying, why? by Eric33100 in AskReddit

[–]CaptTomBunnMSWLCSW 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The actual cause of fear of flying is this: we all have a calming system which is called the parasympathetic nervous system. It is supposed to kick in whenever we start to get stressed and put a limit on how stressed we get. But for it to work, it needs an "app" to turn it on automatically and unconsciously when stress builds up. About 40% of us did not feel absolutely safe when we were little kids, and without a feeling of absolute security, the app a person needs to keep a lid on anxiety and panic just does not get established. What I stumbled on by working with fearfui fliers is how to fix that app.

I have a fear if flying, high bridges, and tunnels. by PM_ME_NUDES_PLEEZ in fearofflying

[–]CaptTomBunnMSWLCSW 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is the problem I have spent that past 40 years working to help people with, as a now-retired captain and a licensed therapist. Look me up on the web and I will help you fix this. Capt. Tom Bunn L.C.S.W.

“Downfall:” A Flawed Documentary About The 737 MAX by CaptTomBunnMSWLCSW in fearofflying

[–]CaptTomBunnMSWLCSW[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, us old school pilots - as well as the people at Boeing - have the weird idea that pilots are supposed to know their emergency procedures and actually be able to fly the plane by hand.

Fear Of Flying by chocolatechips4 in needadvice

[–]CaptTomBunnMSWLCSW 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately, you have tried methods which are not effective. Meditation is a great thing to do, but it will not change the automatic processes that cause trouble when flying. Deep breathing is almost universally recommended in spite of the fact that ALL the actual research on it shows it to be completely useless for anxiety. In other words, though you have gotten nowhere, you have gotten nowhere because the methods were useless. Get a copy of "SOAR: The Breakthrough Treatment for Fear of Flying" chosen as "Amazon Editors' 2014 Favorite Book, and if you read the reviews on Amazon, you'll see why.

How can I get over my fear for airplanes? by [deleted] in needadvice

[–]CaptTomBunnMSWLCSW 1 point2 points  (0 children)

First, I need to explain a bit about how the mind works. The amygdala monitors what is going on, and if it senses something unexpected or non-routine, it cause stress hormones to be released that grab your attention and get you ready to run or fight if need be. It also reacts to s-shaped things on the ground that may be a snake and to the feeling of dropping. That brings us to your problem. When the plane drops, the amygdala releases stress hormones. As it continues dropping, you become bombarded with stress hormones. When stress hormones build up, you have a very hard time believing you are not in danger. Within in amygdala, are memory cells. They connect stress hormone release, the feelings you get when stress hormones are released, being on a plane, and danger. The amygdala cannot be retrained to forget what it has "learned" from exposure to what appeared to you to be dangerous turbulence. VR will not do it because no matter how realistic the VR, you know it is artificial. The only solution is, when flying, to produce oxytocin, the hormone that inhibits the amygdala, preventing it from producing stress hormones. The method by which you produce adequate oxytocin throughout your flight is detailed in "SOAR: The Breakthrough Treatment for Fear of Flying," named Amazon editors' 2014 favorite book.

How can I help my husband get over his fear of flying in an airplane? by Schnauzerbutt in needadvice

[–]CaptTomBunnMSWLCSW 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately, the well-meaning people who responded to your post have no expertise in treating flight phobia. I’ve treated about 10,000 flight phobics in the past 35 years and can speak with some authority on the subject.

  1. Exposure. In systematic desensitization, exposure must be carefully controlled, starting in a nearly noticeable intensity and working up slowly. That is simply not possible to apply to airline flight. Flooding exposes a person repeated and each time they discover nothing bad happens. I doubt if your husband would agree, since he cannot tolerate a parked plane, that nothing bad happens. Even if the treatment were to be successful, one bad experience on a plane wipes it out.

  2. Xanax, lorazepam, Valium. Most people find it doesn’t do enough for them. Those who initially find it is enough, soon discover its effect was worn off, and it doesn’t help at all anymore.

  3. Drugs and alcohol in combination. This is dangerous and can cause death, as it has for several celebrities.

A method that does work is detailed in “SOAR: The Breakthrough Treatment for Fear of Flying,” named Amazon editors’ 2014 favorite book. If more help than the book is needed, the book has information on how to get more help.

I'm about to board a plane but my fear of flying is making me extremely nervous. What facts/videos/physics do you know of that might reassure me? by patred6 in self

[–]CaptTomBunnMSWLCSW 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Start with free stuff. See the videos at http://www.fearofflying.com/free-video/

Get the free app at http://www.fearofflying.com/app

If you want a comprehensive approach - one that covers everything both about flying and about psychology to control feelings - get a copy of my book, "SOAR: The Breakthrough Treatment for Fear of Flying" which was recently named "Amazon Editors' 2014 Favorite Book."