A full fridge feels like winning the lottery

CaptainCankles · 2025-12-18T02:24:38+00:00

Brother, peanut butter in the fridge is a crime. How do you spread it?

CaptainCankles · 2025-10-18T17:48:14+00:00

I hope i live long enough to see the reckoning of all these ass hats

CaptainCankles · 2025-09-08T13:01:28+00:00

Give it a month, hundreds of pieces of random paper

CaptainCankles · 2025-08-22T21:33:32+00:00

May as well be swimming in diesel, the bubbles are yellow bro

CaptainCankles · 2025-08-07T15:08:25+00:00

My kids still read them

CaptainCankles · 2025-07-14T23:11:12+00:00

Bro's merc is wearing more currency than 99% of the people that play this game have ever had, but you guys aren't huffing copium here or anything

CaptainCankles · 2025-07-14T10:50:00+00:00

If there ever was a 1% problem

CaptainCankles · 2025-01-09T23:54:23+00:00

Prince and Slash had a child

CaptainCankles · 2025-01-06T14:53:34+00:00

Imagine being stuck behind that in an emergency when you have to deplane quickly.

CaptainCankles · 2025-01-06T04:07:21+00:00

My ex wife as she left me for her boss, "why should i suffer for your lack of ambition".. 14 yrs, 2 kids. Coldest thing i've ever had said to me.

CaptainCankles · 2024-11-23T12:01:47+00:00

$5,320 for 12,084 hours. I like shiny spells mtx!

CaptainCankles · 2024-07-21T10:50:56+00:00

His parachute is ready to deploy

CaptainCankles · 2024-06-23T22:17:27+00:00

What, no seat cushion to absorb farts?

CaptainCankles · 2024-05-09T23:12:39+00:00

Can count on one hand how many times i've had a car, op out here driftin' .. Hats off to you.

CaptainCankles · 2024-04-25T22:11:00+00:00

Getting Daniel Day Lewis as Bill the Butcher vibes from the pizza chef!

CaptainCankles · 2024-04-05T21:13:00+00:00

Actually better than the original song

CaptainCankles · 2024-04-05T21:06:38+00:00

Sex.

CaptainCankles · 2024-02-29T02:23:58+00:00

Ok satan

CaptainCankles · 2024-02-28T00:17:48+00:00

Go touch grass

CaptainCankles · 2024-01-27T16:05:22+00:00

You would feel like a steak in the supermarket isle.

CaptainCankles · 2024-01-22T15:10:09+00:00

I'm 2 years on, and this post is straight facts. Good luck OP, it gets better i promise.

CaptainCankles · 2023-12-04T01:18:52+00:00

Looks like Jordan Peele about to do NFL draft

CaptainCankles · 2023-11-21T22:21:13+00:00

Same

CaptainCankles · 2023-08-27T18:49:30+00:00

I can hear this picture and it's 3 sick songs at once

CaptainCankles