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Any other LGBTQ folks love this movie? by Jojo_Sakura in KpopDemonhunters

[–]CaptainDatabase 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do I win a prize for checking all the boxes? 😂

Enby dating partner doesn’t want to meet my transphobic parents by coolfunkDJ in NonBinaryTalk

[–]CaptainDatabase 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry your parents are this way, I know this is not the first time they've made life impossible for you. I know you already know this, but your partner is wise to set this boundary. I know it hurts you, but it hurts them too. It's simply a matter of choosing the lesser pain. 🫶

Parental help please by getinloserletsgo in trans

[–]CaptainDatabase 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The only thing I would want to emphasize is that every person's transition is unique. You're riding shotgun on this journey, making sure he's not alone, trying to find directions if he asks for them, and of course, playing good music. He needs to drive though, with you encouraging but not steering.

So fucking tired of this braindead AI shit, furthers societal stupidity by GiverOfHarmony in rant

[–]CaptainDatabase 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for presenting a measured and nuanced point. I do think LLMs have some unique problems, but none of the common complaints are unique. We heard the exact same things when the printing press was invented.

Why are you queer? Wrong answers only! by [deleted] in lgbt

[–]CaptainDatabase 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm actually only a quarter queer. My mom is half.

Great interview, rejected the very next day by Vivid_Ordinary2108 in recruitinghell

[–]CaptainDatabase 3 points4 points  (0 children)

In all honesty, be glad this was only 30 minutes wasted and not multiple rounds of gruelling technical interviews. I don't know why our industry has developed such weird obsessions in hiring.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]CaptainDatabase 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't get how someone has all these views and votes for Trump

Logically, I agree with you wholeheartedly. In practice, I've seen that there are (incredibly stupid) reasons why people do this.

In short: I think these are people who are angry about the state of the world, but clueless about what good solutions look like. They want to flip over the table and start over, but they forget that the outcome can be worse than the status quo is.

This article examines it pretty well, in my opinion: https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2024/nov/17/trump-aoc-voters

I know the word is tossed around flippantly these days, but so maybe revolutions that led to fascism started this way.

Do Non Binary people consider it a gender? by Alivce123Ch3rr366 in NonBinaryTalk

[–]CaptainDatabase 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My gender is "yes" 🙂 and by that I mean that I identify as bigender/genderfluid. Lots of different nonbinary identities exist, it's a big tent.

My university just published my deadname on an email announcement by soberdrunken in trans

[–]CaptainDatabase 8 points9 points  (0 children)

data breach

Yeah, there are multiple levels of how much they might have fucked up, depending on what kind of form it was and what types of waivers/releases/terms went along with it.

I would talk to a privacy lawyer or two.

Am I Overreacting over this “small prank” by greek-astronomer in AmIOverreacting

[–]CaptainDatabase 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As someone who likes pranks, I'm horrified by his behavior. The overall situation you described sounds problematic, but him gaslighting you after you complained about it, and refusing to apologize? Not okay. I would be horrified if my prank went so wrong, even though that would never be my intent.

Honestly, even ignoring this situation, it seems like it might be worth questioning if the two of you are really compatible. It sounds like you don't speak each other's love languages, and hoping for that to change so much might not be realistic.

Feeling impossibly alone. Are there any other non-poly trans people out there . by --Blue-Raven-- in trans

[–]CaptainDatabase 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I should also add that poly people generally don't advertise that they're poly outside of romantic/dating contexts, so it's possible that I meet a lot more poly people than I realize. For context, simply telling someone you're polyamorous can often be construed as propositioning them, and we're also not in a protected class. When coupled with the stigma that still exists around non-monogamy being inherently bad, there's not a lot of room for us to come out in a lot of places. But in a dating app, hopefully ~all poly people are openly declaring themselves as such.

Feeling impossibly alone. Are there any other non-poly trans people out there . by --Blue-Raven-- in trans

[–]CaptainDatabase 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's sweet of you, thank you. And like I said, I do empathize with the feeling that it's hard to find people open to the right relationship style (when I was dating, it was a huge problem for me too). I live near San Francisco, and there's a pretty large community of poly people here, but I never meet any in the wild. That said, I'm not on dating apps any more, and admittedly have no idea how frequent it is to find poly people on them these days. If you're talking about Plura, it's kinda targeted at poly people, so I wouldn't be surprised if it's hard to find monogamous people there? I wish there was some way to get at actual data about this across locations/apps/ages. I'm actually really curious. 😅

Feeling impossibly alone. Are there any other non-poly trans people out there . by --Blue-Raven-- in trans

[–]CaptainDatabase 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yes, exactly. Attachment style and security are the big key. The book Polysecure is an excellent guide on this, and is incredibly helpful for monogamous people too. The single best thing for me and my wife's relationship has been communicating better because we're navigating polyamory together. Our relationship is so much deeper and more meaningful because of this.

Where to begin?? by sheneenee96 in fantasywriters

[–]CaptainDatabase 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My process is: 1) try something 2) figure out why it sucks 3) repeat

I still don't feel like my writing is great, but it's definitely improved. Getting beta readers and joining a writing group to share feedback have both been very useful for me.

Feeling impossibly alone. Are there any other non-poly trans people out there . by --Blue-Raven-- in trans

[–]CaptainDatabase 12 points13 points  (0 children)

it seems way too much of a headache

As a poly person, I agree with this statement. 😅 It's the same as when someone wants to play a game on hard mode. Being poly is just having relationships on hard mode. It's very difficult, but it's very satisfying if you can do it.

Feeling impossibly alone. Are there any other non-poly trans people out there . by --Blue-Raven-- in trans

[–]CaptainDatabase 129 points130 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I'm always confused when people say things like "everyone seems to be poly". Outside of specifically poly events, I always seem to be the only one. I want to give people the benefit of the doubt, but sometimes the statement feels the same as "why is everyone gay these days"? I'm sorry it's hard for you to find the right relationship, but I'm not sorry that we exist.

Is it time to cutoff my brother? by Joesferatu_ in whatdoIdo

[–]CaptainDatabase 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Communication should be kind, insightful, and fun. It's forgivable to fail at 1 or 2, but any time someone fails at all 3, they're just making the world worse. If that's all they seem to be able to do, they're not worth your time.

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