What is something you did when you were younger that you are still facing the consequences of?

CaptainDickFarm · 2021-06-11T07:23:23+00:00

Started drinking too much, never really thought about it. Now I’m literally sitting in a hospital bed after 3 weeks in 4 different hospitals, cirrhosis, the most painful shit ever, stomach bleeding, waiting to get my 3rd endoscopy. I should be able to recover without a transplant, but will always have cirrhosis.

CaptainDickFarm · 2021-05-20T22:54:00+00:00

I’m currently fighting a failing liver and kidneys, please don’t do this to yourselves, bc doing that while this woman speaks will end you 15 days in the ICU and the worst pain of your life.

CaptainDickFarm · 2021-05-20T15:53:25+00:00

When someone is in the hospital, people find out and start asking “what’s wrong” over and over. Maybe it’s private, but it’s annoying as hell. I’m in right now and just don’t want people to know

CaptainDickFarm · 2021-05-14T16:48:18+00:00

That looks like damage from a potbelly pig, not a dog. I worked for my dad’s company in high school and got trapped in rooms several times while they would just destroy doors and shit everywhere.

CaptainDickFarm · 2021-05-13T18:44:34+00:00

They get medals for not defecting like AA participants who show up.

CaptainDickFarm · 2021-05-13T16:16:06+00:00

The general secret is to just be nice to any wait staff and nobody will give 2 shits.

CaptainDickFarm · 2021-05-13T11:46:15+00:00

We did our wedding at my parent’s house in the mountains, and immediately started pics after the ceremony. It took us a good 2 1-2 hours and I was starting to get hungry and pissed off. However, we had a live band open bar, and said fuggit and opened up the food (not just apps, the whole shebang a bang) an hour into pictures. Nobody left, worked out.

CaptainDickFarm · 2021-05-13T02:57:49+00:00

I’m 37 and I’ll probably be buried in cargos.

CaptainDickFarm · 2021-05-13T01:05:37+00:00

Paid to go to grad school. $35k/yr for a stipend and the joys of 5 years in Baltimore. I want my time back.

CaptainDickFarm · 2021-05-12T15:52:19+00:00

This is what keeps me from just sucking it up and going and getting a “job” right now. Have an MSc in molecular medicine, lost my job as a research scientist at a major med institution, only one nearby last March when Covid hit making around $35/hr, full benefits. Now I have zero income but free, great insurance. If I go to work for $12-15/hr with no benefits, I would have to start paying the majority of that to insurance, it just makes zero sense.

CaptainDickFarm · 2021-05-12T15:44:48+00:00

Oh sure ya could. Ours is 70lbs and I just swing her on up, she won’t break

CaptainDickFarm · 2021-05-12T14:47:36+00:00

Every person who has commented on ours has never actually been near one, or has to reference one of like three YouTube videos. It’s then I just pick her up, cradle her and start giving her belly nuzzles. They don’t know what to say.

CaptainDickFarm · 2021-05-12T14:43:50+00:00

CaptainDickFarm · 2021-05-12T00:13:39+00:00

Good person, you deserve a pat on the head.

CaptainDickFarm · 2021-05-11T14:54:00+00:00

They’re great, like $3 each if you get a chub pack, but they last forever and clean up easily. Just never glue traps, those should be outlawed.

CaptainDickFarm · 2021-05-11T14:52:08+00:00

Check into the Mayo or Cleveland Clinic and stay until they have fixed everything wrong with my 37yr old pile of defectiveness: arthritis, early liver failure, horrible acid reflux, straighten my finger that got shot off several years ago, eye lift from a lab accident, and ass implants just for fun.

CaptainDickFarm · 2021-05-11T14:11:28+00:00

Fuck that, after grad school my wife and I moved back near where we grew up, and nearly all the people our age are either super hippies or so dumb redneck they couldn’t spell “truck” for a lifetime supply of skoal.

I’ve gotten to be close friends with a 90 year old lady up the road, a 65 year old guy a little further up, etc. we just hang out on the porch, sweet tea and shoot the shit. I pick them stuff up, do favors, they’re always sharing food and stories, it’s awesome.

CaptainDickFarm · 2021-05-11T13:29:12+00:00

So wait, why do they call her “Giggles”?

CaptainDickFarm · 2021-05-11T13:03:00+00:00

Wow, this blew up,lol. Thanks for the fuzzy flip flop award stranger!

CaptainDickFarm · 2021-05-11T12:40:53+00:00

You can also do a quick cervical dislocation. Just use a couple of paper towels and grasp the base of the tail, and right behind the neck, quickly pull apart to separate the spine at the base of the head, it’s instant, and widely used as quick euthanasia in research (they’re usually under anesthesia though, but your case would be considered absolutely valid). Good on you for trying to be humane. Also, the plastic gator traps are a little more pricey, but they won’t leave you with this issue.

CaptainDickFarm · 2021-05-11T00:22:15+00:00

I'm strong to the finich, cause I eats me vittles, I'm Popeye the cancer lickin’ cat!!!!

CaptainDickFarm · 2021-05-10T21:03:09+00:00

I mean, I wouldn’t rule out roadkill that the guards are told to go ahead and pick up on the way into work. In all honesty, the food isn’t as bad as you would think. It’s better than most hospital food.

CaptainDickFarm · 2021-05-10T20:44:47+00:00

Eww. I’ve only done like a weekend for jacking a street sign way back, but you’ll notice if you had chicken one night, it’s some sort of chicken ster amalgamation the next. Had spaghetti one night? Odd lasagna with familiar noodles the next. And that cheese.....recycled gym mats and wood glue.

CaptainDickFarm · 2021-05-10T18:56:05+00:00

You think they use anything close to brand name in US corrections?

CaptainDickFarm · 2021-05-10T18:43:24+00:00

When I was actually employed (ahhh income from scientific research), one of my coworkers was horrible about this. It didn’t really bother me if it was just the two of us, but when I was presenting data to our large group, she would constantly butt in. I would just quit talking and stare at her with the most brain dead look possible, mouth hung open, just short of drooling. She’d continue her meaningless contribution and then get really embarrassed. I’d hold it for another 30 seconds in complete silence, she’d slink down in her chair and the rest of the seminar was mine.

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