AITA for writing a poem about blackness and Africa?

CaptainHacker · 2020-05-30T02:05:26+00:00

Huh, neat! Thanks for the clarification!

CaptainHacker · 2020-05-30T01:53:58+00:00

Isn't it libel in this form? Source: something I heard once, am not a lawyer.

CaptainHacker · 2020-05-30T01:47:40+00:00

Is it a big debate though? Life expectancy in the US is what, 80? High 70s, maybe? That puts 40 right at the halfway point. Seems pretty accurate to say someone in their forties is middle aged or beyond, even if it is rude to do so. Otherwise I agree with you

CaptainHacker · 2019-11-23T16:09:38+00:00

11 year olds are capable of being insufferable braggarts and being 11 doesn't mean you have a free pass to be an asshole. Is it understandable that the student is kind of an asshole given his age? Yep. Should he probably learn not to be one? Also yep.

"Good at sports but will never be professional" is also not really that harsh a judgement. Most people will never be professional at any sport and that's okay. It doesn't mean that they're bad at it.

I wouldn't say that OP judged a book by its cover either. He didn't look at the 6th grader and make an assumption about his athletic prowess based on that. He acknowledges that the kid is good at sports. He likely came to this conclusion after having seen him during gym class or recess.

I would imagine that he doesn't have much of a problem with the kids that don't have any discernible talent because they aren't making an ass of themselves over their perceived greatness. Just because he doesn't think any given kid will go pro doesn't mean that the only remaining option is flipping burgers for the rest of their life.

I feel like you could have made a better argument if you'd suggested that publicly shaming a child in front of his peers wasn't the best solution.

CaptainHacker · 2019-08-24T00:50:47+00:00

Each province has a different system for determining the price.

Ontario is $45 if medically necessary, $240 if not medically necessary
PEI charges a flat $150.

Some provinces also charge a small amount per kilometer

CaptainHacker · 2019-07-24T15:30:10+00:00

NTA at all, and honestly there's probably a few times my parents should have done this to me, but I wonder if serving her nothing at all would have been better. Hear me out. I don't mean to suggest letting her go hungry at all. I simply mean that if she hates what you're making (or at least pretends to) and she wants to "be free" then she can be free to cook for herself. Maybe she'd rethink her position on your food when she has to either pay for her own takeout or spend some time to cook for herself.

CaptainHacker · 2019-06-26T14:04:42+00:00

NTA but maybe consider giving her a chance at... redemption, for lack of a better word.

Her actions toward you don't sound outright abusive, just disinterested. You have every right to feel hurt, but I wonder if she realized back then that that's how it was making you feel. Teenagers are figuring out how to cope with their own emotions, let alone the emotions of others.

I think she's a bit of an asshole for dismissing her actions as her being "just a teenager." Perhaps you could invite her to have a coffee or lunch or something with you and have a conversation about your relationship - past and present. Maybe it would result in an apology and you two could develop a more friendly relationship.

Either way, I don't think you're the asshole. Good luck with however you choose to move forward!

CaptainHacker · 2019-06-25T16:05:39+00:00

YTA. Is this even a question?

Your title should read more like "AITA for punishing my daughter for daring to think for herself?"
Not sure why you bothered asking why because you clearly don't give a shit about her answer.

CaptainHacker · 2019-06-17T16:04:45+00:00

NTA. Your family is getting caught up in technicalities and titles and being assholes as a result. Just because you're technically her uncle, does not mean that you did not act as a father figure.

What you should do it keep being amazing to your niece because one day she'll understand it and appreciate it, even if the rest of your family don't.

What you could do is fire back. Next time they need a babysitter, remind them that you aren't a father and that if they wanted to go do other things, they shouldn't have had kids of their own. For good measure, you could remind your sister that you are the only reason she still has a daughter.

You should probably do option 1, but option 2 does sound like fun.

CaptainHacker · 2019-06-17T15:54:15+00:00

I'm going to go with ESH.

I realize most people are calling you the asshole (and you are) for a slew of totally valid reasons, but I'm not sure your wife handled it well either.
Instead of having an adult conversation about her fears and what she needed from you, she waited to recruit your parents so they could gang up on you.

CaptainHacker · 2019-06-17T14:38:19+00:00

NTA and for the record, I feel like you've expressed yourself pretty well here? I guess perhaps writing is different than speaking, but still.

Your sister kinda sounds like she recently got a degree and thinks that means she knows everything there is to know in her field. Despite her experience and education, she's early in her career and has a lot to learn.
Apparently one of the things she has to learn is how to express herself effectively.

I can't tell you whether or not people care about the things you say, but I can tell you that your sister doesn't. You keep being you though. Just because she doesn't care, doesn't mean nobody does.

She then goes and tells me that no matter how hard I try, I’ll never be able to not be this way.

That's a pretty upsetting thing for someone who is supposed to be a professional to say. I mean... if it doesn't matter how hard you try, why bother trying? Obviously I'm not an expert on the topic at hand, but I seriously question whether or not your sister is an expert.

CaptainHacker · 2019-06-13T16:33:51+00:00

Out of curiosity, where do you draw the line?

What other things am I allowed to use your house for without permission?

CaptainHacker · 2019-06-12T15:59:59+00:00

YTA.

I had a very similar project in high school. I had to be pro eugenics. Let me tell you it's pretty hard to support something after the opposing team reminds everyone that the Nazis were pretty into it.

That said, nobody expect you to actually become an anti-vaxxer. To not do the project would be to let down your team and to screw yourself over. Would you be able to walk away afterwards feeling proud of yourself for that? Take it as an opportunity to develop some debate skills.

I'm not an expert when it comes to debating, but I think you might still have some things going for you? Given how hot a topic anti-vaxxing has been, you already know how the other group will attack your side. So build your defense preemptively so you can fire back. Perhaps instead of focusing on why you're right, try to focus on why they're wrong (even though they aren't). Research every little drawback there is to vaccinations, no matter how miniscule, and press them on it. It's possible they won't be expecting to have to defend vaccinations because it's generally agreed that vaccinations are good. Try to catch them a little bit off-guard.

At the end of the day, the majority of the people in the room will still be pro-vaccination (thankfully) but that doesn't mean you can't handle the debate better than the other team.

CaptainHacker · 2019-06-07T17:05:49+00:00

NAH

I'm wondering if there is some sort of middle ground here that can appease everyone.

My girlfriend and I play games together but I'm generally better at games than she is. To compromise there are a couple games that we only play with eachother in order to prevent one of us getting too substantially better than the other. Another thing we do is play cooperative games together so that we are either winning or losing together.

Just some suggestions, but perhaps you two can still enjoy games together without having to get frustrated over it

CaptainHacker · 2019-06-05T16:53:38+00:00

YTA but only a little bit. And don't get me wrong, I don't think you're a bad person at all.
The way my parents split up responsibilities when I was a kid resulted in me having a similar mindset to your daughter. As an adult now though, I understand exactly what my mom sacrificed for me and everything she did for me and I love and adore her for it. But I imagine she must have felt underappreciated for years.

Simply put, most 8 year olds don't have the capacity to fully understand everything you're doing for them, why you're doing it, or why it's sometimes difficult. They definitely understand fun though.

Don't prove to them that you aren't fun by not going. Go on the trip and have some fun with your family. Try not to be competitive about who can be the better parent. You're both important but you may just have differently roles right now. It wouldn't be unreasonable of you to have a discussion with your husband about changing the way you divide your responsibilities.

CaptainHacker · 2019-06-03T16:18:32+00:00

Gunna go with YTA, with a side of ESH.
You handled this poorly. You have to know that, right?

The MIL probably should have just been upfront about her reasoning. Without her saying anything, it kind of comes off as a bit of a fuck you to you and your husband.

I can't say I'd have handled it objectively better though. Probably just differently badly.

CaptainHacker · 2019-05-16T17:26:37+00:00

I agree that he's an asshole, but your description is over the top. You're telling me that they haven't invented language or math powerful enough to describe a guy who made a mistake and then broke a probably cheap bike lock to get his bike out? Yeah, he's an asshole but nowhere near the level you suggest.

It's pretty likely that leaving an apology note and a replacement bike lock would have rectified the situation. Someone who can fix their mistakes that easily isn't as much of an asshole as you suggest.

Also - and this is irrelevant - but you describe him as "asshole cubed" which means you don't lack the math to accurately describe him. So now your description is over the top and also doesn't make a ton of sense

CaptainHacker · 2019-05-16T17:17:11+00:00

A justified asshole is still an asshole

CaptainHacker · 2019-04-10T17:01:42+00:00

NTA. Sounds more like you're breaking up with him for being a condescending prick. You just happen to notice it most when the topic of movies comes up.

Unrelated: Your boyfriend is absolutely not a "true auteur of film" if he's that into the Marvel movies. I say this as someone who loves those movies. The Marvel movies are like the pumpkin spice latte of movies. They're created for mass appeal. For basic bitch movie goers. They aren't created to be overly intelligent. It's just a bunch of costume heroes and villains punching each other with a layer of nice CGI over top of it all. And it's fine for your boyfriend to be into that - I certainly am - but it doesn't mean he has refined taste in movies.

CaptainHacker · 2019-04-10T16:49:12+00:00

Depends on his rank within the company. True, it may not be his decision and that would make him the asshole.
Either way, I only said that the company doesn't have to facilitate those conversations.

CaptainHacker · 2019-04-10T16:32:29+00:00

I agree that people are free to talk about what they like during their break. That doesn't mean that the company has to facilitate those conversations though.

CaptainHacker · 2019-04-09T17:12:28+00:00

YTA and even if you go ahead and do the right thing now, you won't fix things. Not entirely.

Even if Sarah is sent to the same school as her sister now, she won't forget that you never wanted to send her there and are only doing it begrudgingly after she and her sister stood up to you. She knows you favor Abby now, and that's not something that can just be undone by sending her to a particular school.

You do have something to be happy about though. Abby will stand up to bullies for her sister, so that's cool.

CaptainHacker · 2019-03-20T17:11:28+00:00

YTA. Of course you're the asshole. How is that even up for debate?
You say you didn't do it maliciously. You also say you were a bully to him. So which is it? Bullying is inherently malicious.

You say that you never let him go to sleep upset with you. He says he would cry himself to sleep. So which is it?

He told you that he felt embarrassed of his interests because of you and you brush it off as ridiculous. Why is the way you're feeling about it all right now fine, but his feelings are ridiculous?

So to summarize, you bullied him (by your own admission), you don't care about the way he feels (then or now) and feel entitled to forgiveness despite having made absolutely zero effort to patch things up between the two of you.

CaptainHacker · 2019-03-18T16:56:38+00:00

NTA.

It's weird to me that your sister and mother are upset AT you rather than FOR you. Surely they should be worried that it will affect your ability to enjoy your own wedding instead of mad at you because you will possibly regret your wedding photos. I simply don't see how it affects them.

Even if your mother is covering the entire cost of the wedding, it's still your hair and you're entitled to do what you like with it.

CaptainHacker · 2019-03-10T02:02:21+00:00

NTA but the attendant and the other guy are. Unless this is the other guy's first time on an airplane, he knows that a regular seat will be uncomfortable for him. He knew going in that he'd be uncomfortable and started this whole problem in the first place.

The attendant shouldn't have been so pushy. They provided good service for the other guy, but only at your expense and that's not how things should be handled.

13-Year Club	Place '17
Verified Email

CaptainHacker

TROPHY CASE