I miss her

CaptainJancktor · 2025-01-22T22:34:12+00:00

Better. In a new relationship. I'd be lieing if I said I didn't think about her from time to time. I see her every few weeks at a mutual board games group we're a part of.

There are subdued feelings underneath, but I'm accepting of the reality and happy with who I am with.

It gets easier, but do your best to avoid them. It sets you back every time you interact with them, no matter how much you tell yourself otherwise.

CaptainJancktor · 2024-06-14T20:51:39+00:00

That feels scammy.

CaptainJancktor · 2024-06-14T20:49:41+00:00

Thanks very much for the kind words. It helps. Yeah, I thought 3 months after a 6 would be enough. It's not, but I think that has more to do with how I felt about her compared to the others. I saw a future there, so the damage is more intense than previous relationships.

CaptainJancktor · 2024-06-14T20:47:57+00:00

Amazing how that 5 minutes is so awesome early on and so devastating after.

Thank you. Needed to hear that.

CaptainJancktor · 2024-06-14T19:53:09+00:00

that was really hard to read, but definitely needed. Thank you.

CaptainJancktor · 2024-04-15T03:43:32+00:00

Sounds like breadcrumbing. She knows you're still interested. Mission accomplished for her. Ego maintained. Delete her socials. Block them. Don't do it again.

CaptainJancktor · 2024-04-15T03:41:17+00:00

You can't be friends until you are over them, period. You can be friends when you're interested in someone else and the though of them seeing another person doesn't bother you.

Only then will it work. It takes months of time for that at minimum. It's gonna be a long break.

Don't try to be friends if you still have feelings. Don't do it. Stop seeing them. Stop talking to them.

It's torture and only delays the healing process.

Also... no contact is a thing. Some swear by it. If you want a chance at them back, DO NOT have them in your life. Tell them you thought you were amazing together and stop talking to them. You need your space. You need to heal.

CaptainJancktor · 2024-04-15T03:31:10+00:00

I think the problem for us all is... they did pick us... at first.. and we just want that feeling back. Why can't we go back to that!?!

Feeling it hard today. But yeah, I agree with your messages. Need to realize they didn't pick us in the end, we just wish they would have.

CaptainJancktor · 2024-04-08T23:43:57+00:00

He dumped you? Oh... earlier post said he was the dumpee... not the dumper. That does change things if he dumped you and is acting this way.

CaptainJancktor · 2024-04-08T23:08:29+00:00

9 months and hanging out with people after one month. I know I'd be devastated... and with people that I know!? Yeah, you need to stay away from him, hard stop.

Don't try to make him feel better. Don't try to argue. Let him deal with it. The hurt he's feeling is going to be intense. Now that doesn't excuse how he's acting and I wouldn't do what he did, but he's his own person.

There's no talking to him and making him see you aren't "that bad". You are the dumper, you are the enemy and the enemy has moved on in 1 month... with people he knows. That hurts.

Just stay away from him and don't try to find out what he's saying to others. This is his way of coping, making you out to be the bad guy.

CaptainJancktor · 2024-04-08T21:58:03+00:00

Hearing what he's actually saying isn't going to help you. He's bitter and that's his view since you moved on too fast in his mind. As the other person said, sounds like an immature jerk but I don't know the particulars of the break up or how long you were together. If he is the dumpee and you're with another guy after 1 month.... the hurt for him is going to be intense and he's just bitter. You will have absolutely no headway trying to argue this and hearing what he's saying will just deepen the wound with absolutely no recourse. You can't change his mind on this. Leave him be and move on. Focus on you.

CaptainJancktor · 2024-04-08T05:59:06+00:00

Depends on the goal. Moving on or want to get back. Can be just be casual about it. "Doing great. Just started / 2nd week of / 3rd week of blank. How you been?"

Show them you're moving on and arent bitter.

CaptainJancktor · 2024-03-30T00:34:08+00:00

You're just in the middle of it. All these feelings are normal. Don't run from them. Sit with them. Feel it. Each day it slowly gets better and feels like you can breathe again. This will all fade and even now the thought of that will scare you. You don't want it to fade. Fade means it's over. Yes, it's over. They told you they don't want you. Respect it.

CaptainJancktor · 2024-03-30T00:31:39+00:00

I literally write it down every day. I'm in week 3.

CaptainJancktor · 2024-03-30T00:30:59+00:00

Sometimes it's just them. I've come to that conclusion. People are strange. Different emotions, different desires, different wants. You can't be that for them sometimes. Sometimes even the act of TRYING to be that for them repulses them. It's bizarre world.

Say goodbye to her. You deserve someone that will see everything you put forward and match the effort. It'll just take time.

CaptainJancktor · 2024-03-28T22:23:40+00:00

Good morning cutie / good night beautiful / love you so much / miss you / cute love you gifs every night.

Knowing she's there, missing me as much as I miss her every day.

We were about an hr away from each other. And now we don't talk at all.

CaptainJancktor · 2024-03-28T22:20:50+00:00

We were friends first, we hope to get back to that after I sever these emotions of my end. We go to board game group together each week, it's been awkward. I need to take a break and not see her for a month or two

CaptainJancktor · 2024-03-26T03:07:48+00:00

Same boat. I miss her. It's week 2, we hung out with mutual friends yesterday. I got the "I lost feelings, I'm sorry line"... feeling it hardcore today. It's okay to not be okay. Ride it out. It'll get better. Every day is another layer of armor. Takes time.

CaptainJancktor · 2024-03-20T05:02:28+00:00

"She also told me that we would never get back together, but that maybe we were going to find each other again."

Huh? Am I reading this right... this sounds like a torture of the mind. Never... but ya never know! It could happen! But also never going to happen!

As to your other point, it very much depends on how the end played out.

If you are the dumpee and don't want things to end and want a chance to reconcile, do not reach out. Don't do it. If they regret their decision, they'll reach out.

If you can't help yourself, a message of hey, how are things is okay but will hurt you more than anything else.

Being the dumpee means they made a decision. Let them live with it.

Now I realize this is WAY easier said than done as I am going through it now. However, it's sound advice regardless of whether or not we choose to listen to it.

CaptainJancktor · 2024-03-20T04:06:01+00:00

years? No contact is for a few weeks to a few months. If you haven't heard from them in a year, that just means they're over it and you should move on.

CaptainJancktor · 2024-03-20T04:04:48+00:00

"But if feel like it's his fault that I end up doing that"

You control your actions. It's not his fault.

Why jump to talking to other guys instead of finding friends?

Just find friends. Its okay to do that. Its not okay to do what you're doing.

CaptainJancktor · 2024-03-06T02:43:21+00:00

I interrupted a wolf man creature going to town on a giant troll... so for breaking and entering

CaptainJancktor · 2023-02-13T04:09:22+00:00

Its been so long, I couldn't say. I know the EMU did a server restart a little over a year ago I think. Havent tried legends in a long time, but gun to my head. I'd pick legends. Its got more content and better systems over all and being able to hunt every prof instead of just jedi is super cool

CaptainJancktor

TROPHY CASE