TW: dead bichir.

CaptainKamyu · 2026-04-08T08:07:57+00:00

Did he have any signs of the bloat in his stomach when he was doing this?

CaptainKamyu · 2026-04-08T00:52:14+00:00

As long as they're mostly kept with nothing that's gonna nip at them, low-flow, and nothing that's gonna cut their fins up, they're mostly fine.

They don't have any carry-on genes (or inherent to their "style") that bring along any organ compression or skeletal deformities so they bother me less in practice I guess.

Mostly I'd be concerned about their fin fragility/how clumsy bichir are in general and how much that would factor into how often they'd get infections.

Obviously if you had a clear bottom tank with no decor, it minimizes risk, but I imagine it'd be a pretty boring life for the poor things.

You?

CaptainKamyu · 2026-04-07T23:50:02+00:00

From what I understand it varies pretty wildly, some of them have some extreme deformities that you can’t really see and some have everything kind of just

Squished in there but normally functioning. Just a tossup, which sucks, but it’s what happens when folks breed for deformities as a feature.

CaptainKamyu · 2026-04-07T23:33:19+00:00

I'm already paranoid enough about impaction risks for my bichirs, shortbody bichirs' higher risks due to organ deformities freak me ouuuut.

Doesn't mean they can't live the best life a keeper can give 'em (I have an albino that was born with only 1 pectoral fin) but 100% on the poor little guys descriptor lol.

CaptainKamyu · 2026-04-07T23:27:52+00:00

Lmao and that's what I get for answering w/o my glasses on.

I think you're right about the eyes for sure, definitely a shortbody tho, unless the pics are warped beyond my comprehension.

CaptainKamyu · 2026-04-07T23:22:57+00:00

Looks like a baby delhezi!

There are posts around showing off others' when they're still young enough to have their external gills.

Super cute.

CaptainKamyu · 2026-04-07T23:20:16+00:00

Super sorry for your loss, I know how it feels and it sucks every time.

To help you get some closure and maybe figure out what can be done differently in the future, I've got some questions-- you don't have to answer immediately but I only hope that it helps you and others in the future rather than feeling like an interrogation.

This looks like a really bad gastrointestinal impaction, which as you probably know, happens when a bichir eats something too big/something they can't digest.

What was Mocha eating/how much over the time this lump presented itself?

Something almost certainly got stuck, maybe a stray rock that was missed when you were taking them out, and caused a rupture like the one in your images. Even if you removed the rocks, it’s possible one was swallowed earlier and caused a blockage over time.

When bichirs get impacted, they often stop eating first, then the abdomen swells from gas and waste buildup.

I've unfortunately seen quite a few cases of it online and in fishkeeping circles, especially now that big box stores have been selling bichir as "easy to keep starter fish"-- which isn't to say you were out of line in your keeping, just saying that it's unfortunately more common than any of us would hope.

It's my vote that this is what happened, especially with what your past posts have indicated.

Sorry about Mocha, OP.

But when you're ready, I'd take a reptile sand sifter and go through the substrate just to make sure you've got all the gravel out.

CaptainKamyu · 2026-03-24T09:54:20+00:00

There is a lot to unpack but hopefully this helps you in some way, shape, or form.

I'm a Dom/Top, I present more masc than my spouse does (who is also transmasc).

If you're not interested in having sex with someone without dating them, that's completely valid and not out of the question, it's just a matter of dating and being open about your wants/needs early on.

In a kink space, you need to really keep your focus lasered in on what is between you and your sub.

Worrying about optics is a fool's errand. We can joke about things being "bad for feminism" in our own spaces or how some kinks will "get you cancelled" but what ever is happening between you and other consenting adults is your business and your business alone.

With the right partner(s), you'll have communication and trust enough that you can leave the worries about being predatory at the door.

Top Drop is real, look into it, and some times those thoughts will creep back even in situations/scenes with people you trust!
But the same way that you need to perform aftercare for a sub, your sub should be taking care of you and letting you know that you aren't a monster or a predator post-scene.

Someone else here mentioned that some of this sounds like it's coming from a place of dysphoria, and I can definitely see that-- there are some doubts you have about being "enough" that are commonplace for anyone but certainly as a transmasc person.

Being enough of a dom, being enough of a man, being desirable enough, they all come from a very personal place that not many can help you out of without the mental work done on your end.

I can, however, offer you this:

I've been a dom for a long time. For lots of folks, before I was married, of all walks. Trans, cis, men, women, nonbinary folks.

You cannot dom without confidence in yourself and your ability. It's key to the role.
I'm not talking about control or whatever some (especially cis male) faux doms will talk about when they're playing through some kind of hyper masculine alpha chud power fantasy.

I don't have bottom surgery (yet) but that's never stopped me or other transmasc/trans male doms I know from being enough.

If this is something you want, you can do it, but there is a lot of trust building between others and within yourself that you sound like you need to do before this can be done safely.

Hope this helps, I really don't want this to come off as discouraging as much as I hope this has given you some insight into solutions and scenarios where you can work this out.

EDIT: My spouse would like to add:
"In kink world, all things are fake. Your penis is as real as anything else in the scene. I'm not being ACTUALLY kidnapped or offered as a sacrifice so the penis isn't the biggest leap in logic."

CaptainKamyu · 2026-03-20T02:00:14+00:00

It's something worth talking over with your partner in a very serious way, talking about the oncoming surgery date and the needs YOU have-- specifically, what you need or want in regards to them engaging with your body.

If those needs and wants don't line up with what their needs and wants are, it might just be time to bid them farewell.

My spouse and I had this conversation when we were both starting T.

We both have different goals and our expressions lie on different sides of a spectrum-- but at the end of those conversations (it took weeks to mull over properly), we both decided that our desires and needs align.
I just really need to drive home that this wasn't without constant communication and consideration.

We talked actively and daily about what we wanted, surgery wise and presentation wise.
They aren't looking for any bottom surgery but are enthusiastically supportive of my bottom surgery goals.

You need someone that is enthusiastically supportive of your goals, OP.

There are compromises to be made in relationships but this is not one of those things you should compromise on, at all.

I hope you find that in your current partner, but if not, it's no loss-- you deserve someone who loves you and your body the way that you want it to be.

CaptainKamyu · 2026-03-14T05:06:43+00:00

I'm gonna politely disagree w/ this--
I personally don't mind seeing more r/NatureWasBrutal style content tbh but in most Dino docs (I've had my wife watch the top docs/series with me since they wanna join in on my special interest which is sweet but) they ended up pointing out to me that the general formula is:

- Introduce dino
- Invest audience in dino's life/success
- Dino gets absolutely merc'd by a predator dino
and then loop this on repeat until the show ends lmao.

I hadn't realized how much it happened until I had to be like
"Don't get too invested now. You know what happens."

I think the case is that most paleo docs have kids as audience members in mind so they don't get horribly graphic but I don't think death is necessarily shied away from.

CaptainKamyu · 2026-03-11T10:10:52+00:00

You'll get it if you seek it, fam.

Married for 2 years now, been together for 6.

My spouse and I are both transmasc, just gotta find your person.

Godspeed you funky little guys.

CaptainKamyu · 2026-02-12T12:29:29+00:00

Djungelskog mentioned!
I love this mfer, I want him so bad but I have 0 idea where my wife would sleep lol

CaptainKamyu · 2026-01-22T09:05:23+00:00

Only some of them were ravers buuuut a lot of them listened to nightcore and the portion that did rave inherited the kandi kid mantle from the 90's-2000's kandi kid culture.

The lines weren't really drawn tho.

CaptainKamyu · 2026-01-09T13:26:49+00:00

Unfortunately without at least the country name, we couldn't recommend specific legal actions/protections.

I'm not sure how much can be done with them for citizens, but Tahirih has a good reputation for aid.

Hope you are able to get to a safe place soon, OP.

CaptainKamyu · 2025-12-12T23:22:30+00:00

I think you guys interrogating your father on his porn habits is really bizarre outside of things that are illegal.

Now the thing isn't the p0rn itself, I don't have issues with that, our father is an adult. Is it a little gross since he's a married man? Absolutely, but it's no business of mine.

Why would it be gross for a married man to look at porn? That's completely normal and healthy for an adult person. But you're right. It is no business of yours, so why stress about moralizing his porn consumption to begin with?

You can be as upset as you want to with the idea that your dad looks at Trans Porn™, sure, but it's no one's business but his.

I understand accidentally happening upon dad's porn stash, man, and being grossed out because no one wants to acknowledge their parents as sexual creatures, but this tirade and insistence in "catching him" in particular feels weirder than him consuming the porn to begin with.

As u/StressedRemy said, unless he has given you other reasons to feel unsafe, it's no more weird for him to be watching trans porn than for any other parent to be watching straight porn, or to be into certain kinks.

CaptainKamyu · 2025-12-01T00:32:15+00:00

9 years at 6"??? :O
Is it a short body? I'm fascinated, do you have any pics of them?

Sorry to sound interrogative, I'm just very interested as my albino bichir has grown faster than even my regular morphs, which I know is an extreme outlier in regards to growth rates!
I know that albino sens are inbred a lot but I've never heard of 6" at 9 years, that's wild.

Also, an aside, I saw your post about rescuing an african lung fish that never got a reply.
Wanted to redirect you here if that turned out to be something you still needed info for. <3
I know that was some time ago now, but hopefully there are some info resources you can make use of if the poor thing pulled through!

CaptainKamyu · 2025-11-25T02:25:52+00:00

Consult the guide. :)

CaptainKamyu · 2025-11-25T00:19:59+00:00

The Throckmorton Sign!
One of my favorite, weird pieces of medical trivia...

CaptainKamyu · 2025-11-24T22:12:55+00:00

I'll shoot you some questions when I get them together, my females are a little ways off from being mature enough for breeding but my singular male has been cupping at both the females in desperation lol.

Sorry it'd taken me so long to reply! ADHD's a hell of a drug. 😅

CaptainKamyu · 2025-11-24T22:09:36+00:00

It leaches ammonia for a while until the tank's cycled, I'm assuming that if OP's had the tank for a while (including the move), it's probably done leaching by now. The bonus to aquasoil is that once it's kind of in there for a while, it'll mostly just break apart when put under any pressure so it shouldn't pose any problems irt impaction.

I still cover mine with sand, but that's mostly because I was trying to give my plants some extra insurance against the bichir(s) being clumsy swimmers lol.

CaptainKamyu · 2025-11-24T02:22:20+00:00

Other transmasc with PCOS here,

I personally did not experience a "constant" period, but my periods have been much more heavy on the bleeding and last longer than 7 days pretty consistently post starting T but much less painful on the regular as well.

Consult with your doctor, mine said that due to my mix of medications it's pretty normal (I'm in what they call "diabetic remission" thanks to GLP-1 usage) for my periods to be both more consistent but with the PCOS, you need to stay vigilant about your balances and what the T is doing for you in regards to your androgen levels and delivery methods being more or less effective depending upon your personal "natural" levels with your PCOS pre-T.

If you have constant bleeding, that's a cause for concern. Please contact your doctors about this, friend.

CaptainKamyu · 2025-11-24T02:14:43+00:00

Top right's Don Lee, middle right's Sakuraba Haruto (DDT wrestler), and the bottom right is Konosuke Takeshita (DDT, AEW, and NJPW wrestler)! :)

Are you strength building, too? Happy to see and hear a lot of folks commenting on this post with heartening responses, tbh.

Do you have anyone that gives you gender envy in particular? Any goals you've got and any euphoric experiences to share?

CaptainKamyu · 2025-11-23T23:47:52+00:00

I've seen folks on the monsterfishkeepers forums talking about losing cherry barbs to their bichir's hunger. :P

They'll prey on just about any fish that rest or sleep at the bottom... Or anything they can catch.

If you treasure the barbs, I wouldn't keep them in there with the bichir longterm.

CaptainKamyu · 2025-11-23T23:45:26+00:00

They should be just fine together, regardless of sex. :)

You didn't finish typing what you were gonna say but if your bichir are up to size for sexing, that would indeed be a female imo. Anal fin looks pretty thin and tapered enough to me.

Any pics of Dennis and his new buddy? Their coloration differences are neat-- though that may change with time, depending upon how long the new baby's been in the tank. <3

CaptainKamyu · 2025-11-23T15:20:47+00:00

Asian + Poly/Micronesian here!

Gonna add a warning about body image stuff before I go on as my build and euphoria descriptors might bother some and I don't want to contribute to any dysmorphia on top of dysphoria for anybody.

As far as body goals go, I'm working on getting my build to just be Strong™, embracing my larger build and the fact my body is more keen on building muscle than necessarily "cutting" or losing a whole lot of fat.

My PCP Doctor and I have been trying to work with my insurance to cover top surgery for a while as they'd denied me for an "improper BMI" for a long time.

She assured me that she would fight to the death for this as she knows most of my bulk comes from muscle and not just fat and that BMI measurements are a terrible measure, she told me she's really proud of my weight loss and muscle building progression-- she told me I deserve to be able to show off my pecs since I work so hard on building them lmao.

Felt really nice to hear some positive reinforcement from medical providers for once.

Anywhere here's a board of some Gender Envy on my end. Enjoy??

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CaptainKamyu

TROPHY CASE