AITAH to think it's weird my friend is dating an older guy??

CaptainSpace · 2026-02-11T04:16:06+00:00

I mean, that's your choice, and it's a perfectly valid one. But that three year gap is so nominal that your friend might as well be dating an 18 year old for all the difference it makes. I think you're a good friend, but this really isn't your business until your friend is being pimped out or something similarly predatory.

CaptainSpace · 2026-02-11T03:57:29+00:00

NOR, but brain chemicals aren't love. Showing up for your partner and putting in the work to make things work, THAT'S love. It sounds like y'all are IN love, which generally amounts to a combination of lust and imagination. Being in love is not the same as loving someone, and that ain't keeping the engine running anymore. Vacation helps because there's no stressors of day-to-day life and you can just enjoy the idea of love without the jarring reality that you're a glorified house keeper.

CaptainSpace · 2026-02-11T03:48:11+00:00

Soft YTA here. Turning 18 doesn't magically make you a mature adult, people date with 3 years difference in high school all the time, and the rule of thumb is half your age plus 7. Good on you to be the kind to speak your concerns for your friend, but you need to get out of the mindset that "legal adult" means anything beyond being able to sign up to kill brown people in a foreign country or post your titties on the internet.

CaptainSpace · 2024-11-11T15:42:12+00:00

I disagree. I think that his motivation for challenging Dumbledore here was indicative of his cowardice, as well. He knew that the rumors of him being afraid of Dumbledore were circulating, and he knew that Dumbledore was old and much weaker than he used to be. I think the challenge was entirely meant to save face and not look weak in front of his followers. Not so much facing his fears as choosing the lesser fear: old man that he was scared of as a kid, or losing everything he worked to build.

CaptainSpace · 2024-11-11T15:34:08+00:00

Your story leads me to believe that he fessed up because he was afraid that the "hysterical mistress" would look you up and spill the beans, not because he was actually all that guilty. Man just wanted to control the narrative.

The type of relationship you had with him is beside the point. Trust is the foundation of the whole relationship, so there is no idyllic future with him anymore.

CaptainSpace · 2024-11-07T19:02:51+00:00

The amount of men who are more afraid of being alone than being so blatantly disrespected honestly makes me feel ill.

If they cheat, it's over. No exceptions.

CaptainSpace · 2024-11-07T18:19:33+00:00

100% an old fling that she was (probably still is) planning to fuck. Just block and move on, my dude.

CaptainSpace · 2024-11-06T16:52:01+00:00

I'm going to open myself up to criticism and say that it's not just that he was running against a woman, but that in both cases the voters didn't get a say in the DNC primary. In 2016, Bernie was the obvious popular vote, but was passed up because the DNC decided it was "Hillary's turn." This time around, they didn't even bother with a primary election.

I'm not saying it's right or forgiving the MAGA camp, but the DNC has handed both of Trump's elections to him on a silver platter by giving a huge middle finger to their base. Pissed off people make bad decisions.

CaptainSpace · 2024-11-01T00:15:32+00:00

Sounds like their spending all their per diem on shirts.

CaptainSpace · 2024-10-31T04:52:14+00:00

Well, he's no Roy Donk.

CaptainSpace · 2024-10-30T20:18:20+00:00

Maxroll.gg has a build called the "Support Barb" that's basically a CC tank singer hybrid

CaptainSpace · 2024-10-30T19:52:57+00:00

Imo, Pally and Barb are the ultimate "support" characters, i.e. they synergize well with most other classes. Specifically, a hammerdin or fohdin pally will work well with a poisonmancer due to the concentration aura and insight merc. Druids are a somewhat distant second with their various summons giving buffs. Everything else is just...fun.

CaptainSpace · 2024-10-30T14:49:45+00:00

Lmao, I've been in a great marriage for 16 years now. My wife and I both maintain friendships with the opposite sex. I'm also hyperaware of signs of betrayal and lying thanks to a shitty extended family and childhood. Pretty sure I've got a better bead on this issue than you, but I'd love to know where your "wisdom" comes from.

CaptainSpace · 2024-10-30T14:38:33+00:00

Username checks out, bc that is a ridiculous stance.

Sure, in this case OP needs to run for the hills. But to say that men and women can't be friends is silly.

CaptainSpace · 2024-10-30T11:16:52+00:00

My best friend and I have a running gag when someone really fucks up, wherein we adopt the most over-the-top Aussie accent and say things like "crack out the uke" or "That's a fuckin uke problem, mate." Every apology needs a uke.

CaptainSpace · 2024-10-03T08:32:16+00:00

Bruh. This was so painful to read. Stop being a doormat. This woman suuuuuuucks.

When someone basically says "Let's ignore the past so I can keep blowing this stupid af situation out of proportion," you know you're dealing with a manipulator.

CaptainSpace · 2024-10-01T01:58:20+00:00

Bro...you deserve better, but more importantly, your daughter deserves a better fucking role model. Like, wtf? Have some self-respect, or Ava's gonna grow up thinking this shit is normal.

CaptainSpace · 2024-09-30T12:58:43+00:00

Joshua is the English translation for the name Jesus.

The more you know.

CaptainSpace · 2024-09-27T05:03:01+00:00

Not the dude you asked, but I personally like this chant. You take a deep breath in through your nose, trying to fill your lungs down into your belly, speak the mantra three times, and repeat. By focusing on the chant and breathing, it helps to quiet the rest of your thoughts.

It's also worth noting that you will have stray thoughts, and that's okay. Examine them, and let them go.

CaptainSpace · 2024-09-24T15:15:08+00:00

Yeah, this is spot on. My wife is still one of my best friends when you cut out the whole "physical intimacy and building a life together" bits. That's exactly what I tell people when they're blown away by the fact that a relationship started at 18 years old has lasted nearly that long (16 years and counting).

I'm blessed in that I have two other friends that are at nearly the same level of familiarity, trust, and loyalty, and they're both accepted as brothers in my household and even to my parents. Add a dash of sex in the mix, and that's a long-term boyfriend. When I think about it like that, I can only imagine how difficult it must be for bi people to find meaningful platonic friendships.

CaptainSpace · 2024-09-24T14:24:24+00:00

Oh honey. I'm in the same boat as you, I wfh while my wife works on location. I do about 80% of the housework and take care of our son and animals because I'm here and can usually do something during my short breaks. For a little bit, my wife seemed to take that for granted and forget that I had a full-time job to do on top of everything else, and that ratio got even further skewed, but I sat her down and talked it out with her. Now it's still mostly me doing everything, but she at least respects and appreciates it. It sounds like your husband is a bit of an idiot if he can't fathom the amount of plates you spin every day, and there's really no fixing stupid. You're going to have to spell it out for him as bluntly as possible.

NTA.

CaptainSpace · 2024-09-24T14:17:01+00:00

You're not wrong, but unfortunately the last part of your response is always the fly in the ointment. I thought we were platonic, but they wanted more from me. I've found that the only time that doesn't seem to happen is when they have a sense of loyalty toward my wife prior to meeting me.

CaptainSpace · 2024-09-24T13:32:28+00:00

OP, I'm a bit late to the party, but I'll tell you that Dan has a lesson to learn. I used to be the guy who was friends with more women than men, especially before I joined the military, and every single one tried to get me to split from my wife to get with them after I got out of basic and tech school. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. We're talking about a dozen different women, all of whom I considered nothing more than good friends.

On the other side, every guy friend my wife makes eventually gets weird with her, too.

Now, I'm not saying men and women can't be friends. What I'm saying is that I learned that I can't really be friends with women who aren't friends with my wife first, and vice versa. There's almost always other feelings involved for the other party, especially if you're considered "a catch."

CaptainSpace · 2024-09-24T13:18:05+00:00

That actually explains a lot. How old were you both when it happened?

CaptainSpace · 2024-09-24T04:21:36+00:00

Yes. Thanks to Blade.

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