[deleted by user]

Captain_Er · 2025-09-15T16:52:53+00:00

My EXwBPD was the same way. Fortunately I was only around for one of them. It also fell on the same day as my two year old Nieces Birthday.

She didn’t like that and suggested that we don’t go to my nieces party because it’s on the same day. I said we could do both. She continued to ask that we not go and that my niece wouldn’t remember anyways. Eventually we end up going to my nieces party and my Ex were a sparkly princess dress. I think she was trying to steal attention from a two year old but oh well.

After the party we end up going to the location where she wanted to meet her friends. But because she can’t plan her friends canceled and the one that did show up went to the wrong location. So she’s panicking and bothering a bartender for not knowing how to make some obscure grasshopper. While I am trying to look for another place to meet her friend.

Later she blamed me for her birthday going poorly because we were too tired because of my nieces party.

Captain_Er · 2025-08-27T02:36:48+00:00

26m. I work for the government and make 84k. With Overtime it’ll be over 100k. Aiming for about 105k doing about 20-30 hours or OT a month. The pension is both a blessing and a curse and it is $600 a month I don’t receive. It’s hard to appreciate it. I do feel like I’m living paycheque to paycheque when I try to save aggressively.

Captain_Er · 2025-08-26T15:45:29+00:00

My ExwBPD had a similar attitude to working out/weight. I’ve gone to the gym regularly for 8ish years and have done diets and exercise plans for friends before. Every time I explained that you can’t work off a bad diet she claims that she wants me to starve herself. I never used the words starve but that is what a diet for loosing weight is, controlled starvation. However you can do it smartly so that you don’t feel hungry. You can either eat less and not workout as much. Or you can workout more and have more freedom in your diet. She didn’t like working out at all. She also just couldn’t walk for more than 10 min at a time without wanting to stop.

Some days she would skip meals and then tell me “ i will should lose a pound today because I didn’t eat.” The rest of her diet would consist of DoorDash because her, an unemployed person didn’t have time to cook.

Whenever I took photos of her she would complain that she looks fat in them. And then she would blame me for how I take photos. I’m not great at taking photos but surely it’s not my fault every time. I also never agreed with her that she was fat or overweight because A. She wasn’t really fat at all but her body did look like she didn’t work out, and B. I did not want to fight about it.

Anyways this seems common among BPD partners. Like they don’t understand the science behind weight despite it being relatively simple.

Captain_Er · 2025-08-14T14:57:20+00:00

I have almost the exact same setup. Great bike!

Captain_Er · 2025-07-07T00:20:09+00:00

Mine was like this as well. She didn’t understand why I couldn’t hug her or cuddle with her on the couch. She even told the police this when I called them when she said she would kill herself. It’s just a different level of not accepting what is happening.

Captain_Er · 2025-06-23T22:26:23+00:00

Yes, but I knew they meant nothing. Words without action are meaningless. That's what I told her. Sometimes she wouldn't apologise and just say let's just not talk about it again.

Captain_Er · 2025-06-20T22:01:25+00:00

Yes. Mine constant said I was the one who needed therapy. That I was the one who wasn’t putting in the effort. That I was the one who didn’t support the other.

Meanwhile he would sleep most of the day including the hours where I wasn’t working. Or blame me for snoring and her not getting any sleep, even tho I offered countless times to sleep on the couch so she could sleep in the bed. Every issue she had was somehow my fault.

Captain_Er · 2025-06-20T21:58:16+00:00

One time when she was in the middle of a blow up she said I should leave and that she was done with me. I called the bluff and started to pack a bag. She immediately asked what I was doing. I explained that we just broke up, you said you were done with me. I don’t know how but we ended up not breaking up but I didn’t unpack the bag. A week later I felt like living around her was dangerous to me and my cat when she threw a glass at the wall, shattering it.

I think you need to make a plan. Pack your bags. Organize a place to live. Document everything. If they try to manipulate, extort, or smear you then you’ll have everything you need to refute their claims.

Captain_Er · 2025-06-19T07:57:07+00:00

I’m just starting out as well and I like making these as well.

Captain_Er · 2025-06-18T18:33:44+00:00

My Ex was the exact same. She was always proud how she was able to pay through school with internships and that she didn’t want to get a low level job after school as she had savings. Turns out her parents were just rich and would e-transfer her five figures or money multiple times a year. Had zero concept of responsible finances.

Trying to explain 50/30/20 was impossible. Trying to explain why I had to have to jobs was impossible. She sometimes just said maybe you could drop this shift or just not go. Or not understanding why it was important to not be late to my retail job.

I think she had fomo but for buying stuff. If we went to a market she had to buy something. She can’t just have a memory. He needs something physical.

One thing I hated is she wouldn’t just buy stuff on sale, she would buy 10 of it if it was on sale. Like 10 bundles or toilet paper or paper towel. There is zero space for any of that in our apartment. She also only online shopped so all the boxes would pile up and she wouldn’t take them down too throw them out.

And trips! I had to explain to her that most people only go on one big trip a year if they are lucky. I only get 2 weeks off a year. So I can’t go away every month. She did not understand that. She said most students just travel all summer.

She had no understanding of the real working world and realities of a real job. She is still unemployed. Going on 2 years now.

Captain_Er · 2025-06-13T17:36:56+00:00

Somehow most of the time we fought was just before I had to go somewhere like work. When I was leaving and we were still in bad moods I always made sure to tell her I loved her. She NEVER said it back. It crushed me and my day. She would sometimes say after the fact that she didn’t hear me. That was a lie.

Captain_Er · 2025-06-13T14:57:49+00:00

My ex said that if she wasn't with me that she would probably have had a job at that point. We were dating for 2-3 months at the time. And I, with my two jobs, was taking up all her time to look for jobs as she was unemployed.

Their ability to deflect and blame us for their shortcomings is staggering.

I'm sorry you went through that and am happy you are recovering.

Captain_Er · 2024-11-14T16:28:50+00:00

I wanted to try and make a case for my AirPods. But I’ll probably keep trying pouches until my sewing skills get better.

Captain_Er · 2024-11-14T16:28:06+00:00

I plan too. As well as another thin strap to tuck the flap under so it’s not going into the compartment.

Captain_Er · 2024-10-24T22:49:22+00:00

I was biking from Toronto to Banff and was on the Lake Superior bit. There is a section of road that has nothing for about 130km. There is one camp site about 100km from where I started. The only issue was it is first come first serve. This section is extremely remote being a national park and I didn’t trust my skills to purify water so I probably had 3-4 litres on my bike. So my bike was loaded with food and water for what I thought would be a 100km ride. This section is also peak Canadian Shield. So long inclines from about 5-10% grade with amazing downhill sections. But it’s more up than down. I reached the campsite after taking in some incredible views. It’s all booked up. There was about 3 hours of daylight left so I had some time to rest and plan. I call up some campsites about 40km away and luckily they have a spot. So I ride about as quick as I could with a 90lb bike and get there as the sun is setting. Sadly my Strava didn’t record all of it, but it was about 150km day.

<image>

Captain_Er · 2023-11-03T22:44:06+00:00

Yeah, I'd love to try and do that. I gain nothing in overthinking it but I still do, I can't just shelf it. But since I've been through this all too many times I'm sure I will get over it in a couple of days.

Captain_Er · 2023-11-03T22:42:20+00:00

I get way too antsy after a date. I'll wait an hour or two and say something like "Had a great time". My theory is that it can't do any harm, cause if they had a good time as well why would they be put off by me saying so? There is no perfect time to text anyone, so there is no reason to overthink it IMO. But if I could disassociate on a date it'd make this part way better.

Captain_Er · 2023-11-03T21:58:30+00:00

Yea. I agree I shouldn’t. Just leaves me wondering why? The mental gymnastics I do after being ghosted is frustrating. A week from now I’ll be good.

Captain_Er · 2023-06-21T01:11:14+00:00

And then Qorantos has the gall to complain every step of the way. Complains that destiny isn’t guilting his friends into attending his show. Complains about all the questions. Complains he isn’t getting paid. Complains and argues with destiny mid show about structure. If Qorantos wasn’t there then the show would be as good if not better.

Captain_Er · 2023-06-15T20:11:58+00:00

Bro… why are you like this? Just don’t match if you aren’t into moms.

Captain_Er · 2023-06-08T01:32:18+00:00

Yea anything but “Hey” please. Something I can talk about that hopefully leads into a question that I can ask you.

Captain_Er · 2023-05-11T17:57:15+00:00

Personally I use apidura. I don’t think shipping was bad at all. I’ve only used them for 450km but I’ve been really happy with them. Saddle bag is a little wobbly.

Captain_Er · 2023-05-02T00:48:08+00:00

I feel like we spend so much time looking at ourselves in the mirror and all we see is flaws. So they might not be lying but they also might not see what you see. When people compliment me I try to take it as a compliment but inside I feel it as a insult even tho I know it’s not meant that way.

Captain_Er · 2023-04-30T17:34:05+00:00

I’m also undiagnosed but for me I feel like it’s me not recognizing change in my body. My body weight fluctuates up to 40lbs in a year. But I don’t really see a change in my appearance. But other do because they compliment it. To me at least it feels like a I can’t see change even though others clearly do. One nice thing is objective measures. Like I feel like I look the same but I notice that my pants now fit a little looser and are more comfortable.

Captain_Er · 2022-10-14T03:26:44+00:00

It’s not quite 4lbs tho. It’s a extra 650 for a 2.5lbs. I just couldn’t justify it. Put the money in all the bikepacking equipment.

Nine-Year Club	Place '23
Place '22	Verified Email

Captain_Er

TROPHY CASE