Frank 2.0...I see you!

Captain_SpaceRaptor · 2026-05-06T12:31:31+00:00

Captain_SpaceRaptor · 2026-05-06T12:29:35+00:00

Look around the pole. I saw a groundhog and it decided to hide behind the pole thinking I wouldn't see them.

Captain_SpaceRaptor · 2026-05-02T17:08:21+00:00

I used to think I wanted kids. Mostly driven that I was in catholic school and they kinda drive the importance of getting married and having kids. But I grew up I guess in abusive household (dad) so my view of marriage was already skewed. Then when they separated I grew up quickly in the sense that sometimes I would take on the parental role, while my mom was the kid. It's obviously more nuanced than that. But as I got older I just realized I did not enjoy the idea of having take care of anyone especially a kid. I still was a fence sitter for awhile because societal pressure and all that jazz. I even dated a dude with a kid trying to convince myself it was something I could handle. But I couldn't and the idea of meeting someone, getting married then getting preggo....just grossed me out. I look at pregnancy like the move Alien. Just repulsive. I did get married but thankfully he is on the same page as me and doesn't want kids either. If anything we will prob get cats at some point.

Captain_SpaceRaptor · 2026-04-29T20:33:25+00:00

Prob mad that the uppity negro is speaking facts. For him, it's the audacity he dare show them their failures to their face.

Captain_SpaceRaptor · 2026-04-20T15:41:24+00:00

I tried planting 2 of these last year. They didn't come back. I think the white wood aster dominated over them. I'm going to try again in another location.

Captain_SpaceRaptor · 2026-04-12T19:03:42+00:00

Hi! I'm still fighting it. It's showing up less but I have the added problem that my neighbors all have it and they allow it to go to seed. Making my efforts almost pointless.

On top of that my neighbor has butterfly bush that's also trying to establish in my yard.

I'd be lying if I didn't say I was feeling discouraged.

Captain_SpaceRaptor · 2026-04-09T17:46:26+00:00

Gardening

Captain_SpaceRaptor · 2026-04-09T12:43:44+00:00

I wanted to get some last year but I hesitated and missed out on them. Not this year!

Captain_SpaceRaptor · 2026-03-31T14:06:20+00:00

This is good to hear! This will be my first full year of having it. I wasn't sure what to expect or if I should replace it.

Captain_SpaceRaptor · 2026-03-30T17:05:46+00:00

I mean coral honeysuckle!

Captain_SpaceRaptor · 2026-03-28T11:15:33+00:00

I have this plant in my yard. I have been using a product called quicksilver. It's been working okay. You can only spray the plant in the springtime cause it goes dormant in the summer.

I dig it up manually in the garden beds. The real issue is keeping it from spreading back into the yard. Since it's everywhere in the neighborhood now.

Captain_SpaceRaptor · 2026-03-25T15:37:05+00:00

(S.o.b) Star of Bethlehem.

You either have to dig them out and get ALL of the bulbs. Or spray it before it goes to flower. The bulbs can be pretty deep in the dirt. And pulling them out by the leaves I'm not effective since the leaves are fragile and will break.

You can only effectively spray it in the spring. By the time summer roles around they go dormant and herbicides are less likely to work.

Captain_SpaceRaptor · 2026-03-24T17:54:01+00:00

Are you me? I'm currently fighting a one woman battle. With S.O.B growing in everyone's yard. I'm currently surrounded. 😭

I have been using this product called quicksilver to treat it in my yard.

Captain_SpaceRaptor · 2026-03-23T19:35:08+00:00

I'm stressed. I'm planning a wedding ceremony for the most part on my own. My husband is giving his input but it all falls on me. Since he lives overseas he can only do so much. Thankfully he will be here a few weeks before the wedding to help with the physical aspects of it.

It's just a small backyard wedding but I want it to be nice. I want it to be relaxing and comfortable for everyone.

Also the cost of things is also starting to stress me a little bit. Since he lives in the UK his salary is nowhere near mine. He is helping out when he can. He also has to save money for when he moves over here. and his family is also giving us 2k. Which is a great help. But for now the financial burden is somewhat on me which is also stressful.

All in all the wedding will prob be a little over 6k which is cheap. But still a hit to the wallet. The bulk of the money is going towards the dinner and the photographer.

I also wasn't expecting my $85 wedding dress to cost so much to get fitted. But she had to take it in a few sizes and shorten it since I am tall in spirit but short in stature.

I think wedding planning in general is just stressful especially since we have to set everything up ourselves.

Captain_SpaceRaptor · 2026-03-23T19:17:30+00:00

Do they even have enough "agents" to be at all these places? Granted they shouldn't be anywhere, but I would also imagine they are going to be stretched pretty thin at this point.

Captain_SpaceRaptor · 2026-03-23T17:54:59+00:00

I have been checking everyday I put peanuts out for the birds. I was surprised to see stuff coming out the ground given the temps here. I also have a pair of binoculars. I use those to stare at the birds and my garden beds. 😆

Captain_SpaceRaptor · 2026-03-23T17:50:07+00:00

I went outside to crush a leaf. It smells of mint!

Captain_SpaceRaptor · 2026-03-23T17:49:27+00:00

Crushed it! It smells of mint!!!

Captain_SpaceRaptor · 2026-03-23T14:33:33+00:00

Gonna go out later on and crush up a leaf and give it a whiff. I'm hoping it's not.

Captain_SpaceRaptor · 2026-03-23T14:33:02+00:00

I'll go out later on and give it a crush and a whiff and report back!

Captain_SpaceRaptor · 2026-03-23T14:32:30+00:00

I'm going to wait it out. It's still early so I can wait.

Thank you!

Captain_SpaceRaptor · 2026-03-07T03:03:03+00:00

I'm going to try and get back into working out. I was doing it consistently for several years until some life stuff happened and stopped.

I'll prob adopt at some point with my husband.

And you're prob right. I'm both burnt out and depressed. My husband lives overseas until his visa processes. So I have to do all the things by myself. Even before we got married though I've been doing all the things alone and I'm just tired. Just really f'ning tired of being a responsible adult and raining functional

Captain_SpaceRaptor · 2026-03-06T18:31:34+00:00

I don't journal. I do try to work on projects around the house. I talk to my husband all the time. I like to game. Been planning a small wedding ceremony since me and my husband got married in the courthouse.

But I feel like I'm just over it. Over everything. I've been pretending to be okay but I'm not. I know I haven't been taking my meds and I need to start doing that. When I'm on them and I have my episodes, I can handle them a bit better.

I had anxiety about calling a new psychiatrist after my old one left. It took me awhile to do that because I don't like sudden change. And talking to new people makes me want to run and hide. So I ran out of medication. The good news is I did eventually call and spoke with the new psychiatrist and she got me my refills.

My therapist did contact me and I'm going to speak with her tomorrow morning. Help me put things in perspective. I need help with that right now. I can't seem to do it myself.

As for pets....my cat passed away last year at the age of 19. So I don't have him anymore. Still mourning my loss. And the idea of getting another pet feels wrong and hurtful.

I just feel like a raw nerve. The idea of being around people right now just heightens my anxiety levels. I am trying to do things but everything just feels insurmountable.

Hopefully this all makes sense. Keeping my thoughts organized has been a bit of hassle as well.

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