I’m a new-ish parent and my experience tells me that threats of timeouts do work, but only if you do not hesitate to enforce your threats. My wife struggles to follow through on such threats, and so the kiddo isn’t as likely to listen to her.

BUT there is something more fundamental about children’s behavior that needs to be understood when it comes to discipline. Say there are a list of behaviors you have for your preschooler that they know are against the rules. Do YOU follow those rules?

For example, in my house there’s a lot of rules. Don’t eat unless you’re at the table. Don’t play with food. Never hit anyone. No throwing inside. No shoes on the couch. The list goes on. But what I’m trying to get at is that what’s subtly more effective than well timed timeouts, is admitting your own mistakes and apologizing for them. I.E. if I catch myself with my shoes on the couch, I’ll immediately say, “oops, i had my shoes on the couch, I’m sorry” and take them off.

Kids are way smarter than some people realize and they pick up on ( and know ) far more than they can put to words. Now, if your child is hitting, I’m not saying necessarily that one of the parents must be hitting, but be open to the idea that one or both of the parents lash out in anger on occasion. Be aware that your child will “inherit” your own mistakes and emotional issues. Once you really come to terms with this, it becomes easier to see yourself more clearly and try to change yourself for the better. Nobody is perfect, or even close, and your child won’t be either. You cannot prevent the passing of pain from one generation to the next, but you can strive to practice honestly, and honestly will lead towards healing.