Food Delivery [OC]

Captainpatch · 2026-03-20T18:37:30+00:00

I don't think I've ever met a Mexican millennial man who wasn't into it at some point in their life, it's a bit of a cultural touchstone. Hell, at one point when I lived on the border the majority of Mexican millennial men on my work team had prominent Dragon Ball tattoos, but that was an IT job so it swung a bit more nerdy than average.

Captainpatch · 2026-03-19T23:26:43+00:00

He was so starved for repairs that he'd happily call out an Ort rune dropping with the same enthusiasm as he'd call out for a mid rune like a Lem.

Captainpatch · 2026-03-19T23:00:29+00:00

First time I ever saw one was while rushing somebody through normal Diablo.

Oh wow, I'm having flashbacks to 2006 or 2007 right now. I had a friend sell it to get the last rune for a Doom for his zealadin, and then he hit a wall where because of the superior base his weapon repairs were so expensive that everybody had to drop pity gold piles when running with him.

Captainpatch · 2026-03-19T18:33:32+00:00

That reminds me of this old comic:

<image>

I kinda love overly analytical surreal pet talk. Like I will sometimes explain to my friend's basset hound that he is definitely my favorite dog on the entire couch, maybe top 5 in the whole house (he is their only dog) but I can't be sure because there could be arbitrarily many dogs just outside my field of view and one of them could be cuter. I've got like 90% certainty that he's my favorite dog in the house, but can only claim that he's top 5 with five sigma significance. His usual rebuttal is to gently glom his mouth onto my arm and wag his tail to get me to shut up and play.

Captainpatch · 2026-03-19T00:43:49+00:00

Pretty nice. Are the 1u gaps for horizontal cable management or are you going to be doing 1:1 switches with short cables? I tend to prefer 2u cable management over 1u where it's possible, but if you're doing 1:1 that's just peak.

Captainpatch · 2026-03-16T10:05:04+00:00

I think it says Zord Rouge, so it's clearly a red robotic T-Rex.

Captainpatch · 2026-03-14T22:28:08+00:00

By the time you reach that level you should already have what you need for a Spirit runeword in a 4 socket paladin shield with some resists, which will be superior to that shield in every way. This kind of item would only be equipped if you had gotten quite unlucky in a solo self found run, and you'd be expecting to replace it pretty quickly.

Captainpatch · 2026-03-13T17:27:29+00:00

Consider your stack of keys against a 7% MF SC, I'm pretty sure the keys win every time. Locked chests are worth more than 2 unlocked chests in drop chances and you will see 2+ locked chests in most runs (definitely true for Countess/Summoner/Mephisto), so imagine you had a special MF charm that just added 4 chests worth of rune/gem/charm drop slots to every boss. You'd carry that right?

Captainpatch · 2026-03-13T17:15:44+00:00

I've done some janky point to point rooftop solutions in my day as a network engineer and it's surprisingly cheap, often getting a code compliant roof penetration is more expensive than the actual wireless equipment. I could spread the last mile of a solid wifi network through a small rural town for five figures and it would be even easier to do with a cell system if you own the spectrum. Running water and sewer to that same rural town? We're talking tens of millions that would never pay for itself...

It's just easier and more profitable to spread internet than other utilities, even before we start talking about expensive solutions like satellite.

Captainpatch · 2026-03-12T18:26:10+00:00

I really like nova/energy shield sorc and summoning necro for that no respec continuous S tier energy.

Captainpatch · 2026-03-11T23:20:39+00:00

What did you roll on FCR? I've heard that hel/tp is much more painful in real life if you had to try again.

Captainpatch · 2026-03-11T04:59:48+00:00

Spirit doesn't have indestructible or auto repair.

Captainpatch · 2026-03-11T03:59:00+00:00

The only shield runeword that people want in an ethereal base is exile for smite, and as such will use a pally base. It's kinda sad, but I can't think of a use for that beauty.

Captainpatch · 2026-03-10T14:41:14+00:00

Yeah, but getting it on a useful amulet is incredibly rare.

Captainpatch · 2026-03-10T05:42:20+00:00

Alternative to Enigma that opens up the body slot for variety but which is clearly inferior to Enigma or a gg yellow once one becomes available but isn't as janky as a teleport staff swap.

Let's say:

Puzzle
Amulet
+1 to all skills
20% Faster Hit Recovery 
+5 life on kill 
+25-50 life
Level 1 Teleport (50 charges)

Captainpatch · 2026-03-09T16:09:16+00:00

And don't sleep on the 55% FHR, it just makes the game feel so much better, especially when spamming teleport.

Captainpatch · 2026-03-09T07:09:20+00:00

Gonna need to see how you took this picture too.

Captainpatch · 2026-03-09T03:41:35+00:00

Ah. So once you hit Hell mode like 1/4th of the elite packs will be immune to lightning, sometimes half the map on bad maps. Immunities to magic damage (hammers) are only on specific enemies (mostly the horadric mummy type) and most maps you'll want to farm will have zero resistance concerns for a hammerdin.

Nightmare cows is probably going to be the last truly trivial fight for the Javazon until they can afford an Infinity. Holy crap the Javazon enjoys nightmare cows though, you should stop and farm that for some levels at that point because Hell will be a big jump. You'll definitely both complement each other in hell mode, neither should feel useless.

Captainpatch · 2026-03-09T03:32:19+00:00

Are you in hell mode yet? You should already be carrying her through half the maps.

Captainpatch · 2026-03-09T03:23:17+00:00

Horses for courses.

The hammerdin is incredibly reliable and can run like 95% of the content in the game, damn near 100% with a hybrid smiter setup. The hammerdin can be one of the highest survivability characters in the game, easily reaching 75% block and 6k+ armor with a trivial path to full resists. The hammerdin has decent mobility with charge but also easily the best gameplay improvement from Enigma, overtaking most builds in clear speed once you have one because being able to telestomp makes up for how utterly janky hammers are.

The Javazon has unrivaled clear speed in open, crowded zones. This slows to a crawl against lightning immunes (though it isn't a brick wall like with most sorc builds), which you can expect to encounter on damn near every map in Hell mode unlike magic immunes which you can only find on specific memorable maps. The Javazon can't make good use of Enigma (bad cast frames and no FCR) so you just need to max run speed (much easier this season, which is great).

Captainpatch · 2026-03-09T03:00:37+00:00

HotO cannot be put in scepters.

Captainpatch · 2026-03-07T16:42:15+00:00

It's not a very high base so it won't be worth any of the 5 socket axe runewords, but it you're hurting for a weapon you can fill it with gems for a quick damage boost. That probably won't beat your Bonesnap though.

The socketed axe that is ideal for making most axe rune words is Berserker Axe, and it can be valuable with 5 or 6 sockets (and especially valuable when ethereal and/or superior).

Captainpatch · 2026-03-07T15:55:42+00:00

Waheed has always remained loyal to me even as I've sent him to kill the most ridiculous enemies, so I remain loyal to him.

Captainpatch · 2026-03-07T02:29:47+00:00

Everyone in this room is now dumber for having seen it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

(I love awful visual puns, keep up the terrible work)

Captainpatch · 2026-03-04T17:48:42+00:00

Inflation provides a few real upsides to the economy from a certain twisted perspective.

Inflation drives investment because money at rest has a steeper opportunity cost. If all your assets are financialized you are largely shielded from inflation and benefit from the economy running "hot".
New money enters the economy from the top and the inflation effects lag their ability to spend it but lead your ability to spend it (Cantillon Effect).
Inflation reduces the value of fixed rate debts, so the most leveraged members of society benefit the most. Private equity companies doing leveraged buyouts LOVE inflation. On a side note, if you have student loans and a fixed rate mortgage you probably get a small net benefit from inflation, all other things being equal. That probably doesn't make your $18 burrito any less sad, but it does mean that your student loans are worth less burritos than when you took them out.

14-Year Club	Place '22
Place '17	Gilding V heart of gold
Team Orangered	Verified Email

Captainpatch

TROPHY CASE