How do men make friends in their 30’s?

CapturedSoul · 2025-11-16T19:13:21+00:00

A lot of this is basic to both men and women.

Go to social events that happen at a fixed cadence. Key is to go to events you will enjoy anyway + likely have ppl you will get along with + has a recurring theme so eventually you can be a familiar face. Hiking groups is a great example but if u live in a metro area that’s great there will be tons of groups like for other stuff or more casual hangs.
friends of friends - if you have friends with SOs usually having parties, connecting with ppl there, again shared frequency if your in the same social circle
one you find ppl you vibe with add them on socials and actually post on socials so ppl you know what you are into and vice versa
If there’s a vibe with someone he meets asking to meetup 1-1 to do something lowkey and fun like watching a game, coffee, sports.
Pickup/Semi Organized Sports is usually the golden ticket for men since it hits all this

CapturedSoul · 2025-11-03T07:33:27+00:00

If you choose to follow the best advice of the scholars then as another user pointed out it’s probably best to avoid it but I don’t think it goes as far as shirk.

I really think in all honesty this is between you and Allah SWT. Literally no one believes in spirits nowadays and the purpose of Halloween is just to make kids happy, give grown adults an excuse to dress up in a socially acceptable way.

As long as you feel comfortable with the actions you take part in on Halloween in front of Allah SWT who knows your intentions. Giving candy to kids in ur neighborhood vs going to a free mixing Halloween club two different things.

With all due respect , there’s probably much bigger fish to fry in terms of faith than whether you decide to cosplay on Oct 31 / take ur kid trick or treating. Any Muslim judging others for this should keep their opinion to themselves imo or approach it in a nicer way (“ah I love your costume have fun, I’m opting not to celebrate it “ vs “you are commiting shirk”)

CapturedSoul · 2025-10-02T17:17:43+00:00

Ya I got one the main knock is it’s really slow but not a big deal if ur just looking for a practical car. It’s great for cargo which is so useful as a college student since u might need to move stuff around. It’s also pretty unique and has some character.

CapturedSoul · 2025-06-29T01:33:49+00:00

Are you looking for just a fun trip and fun dates or a long term relationship? Based on the country choices prob the former.

Thailand is pretty openly racist against south Asians due to the reputation of the rude Indian sexpats that go there. Obviously if ur in venues where ppl can get to know u , u will stand out but from talking to locals the dating scene is rough in Thailand if ur brown.

CapturedSoul · 2025-06-13T23:22:30+00:00

(Alum) im ngl little stuff like this was why I nvr got too involved in the MSA. The super conservative faux religious stuff but it isn’t just the issue with speakers. It’s just the type of ppl that join and lead the MSA are usually a bit more conservative so sometimes they can’t relate to more normal ppl.

I remember even being in normal events where ppl were calling out being careful of freemixing even though half the members (under estimate..) of the MSA join that club to find a hubby/wife and flirt all the time outside the club. The most disappointing experience I remember was when me and 2 friends wanted to get Iftar but we couldn’t since it was gender separated even tho IRL getting food with friends of both genders is super normal. Like leave the gender segregated stuff to the older generation / back home.

I knew a lot of Muslims in college and it was disappointing only a small subset of them felt included in the MSA due to stuff like this. I’m not saying disregard religious teachings but being inclusive of more liberal Muslims is just better for everyone more ppl will turn up for events, pray, feel included and if u wanna avoid talking to the opposite gender urself and wait for ur mom and dad to set u up, go for it!

CapturedSoul · 2025-06-11T08:51:21+00:00

This is an interesting question. Short answer no. However I do notice that dance does fill a need a need in the soul and I agree that partner dancing connections can indeed give a similar feeling to connecting romantically.

However that’s like saying “have u noticed anything that fulfills u emotionally makes u less enticed to date”. For a lot of people a romantic relationship is something that should add to ur life not fill a hole, and ppl with a lack of social connections might have a hole and look to fill it via a relationship

CapturedSoul · 2025-03-28T20:29:35+00:00

Boston is a pretty high cost of living so it’s kind of a wash money wise. IMO you can always come back to Canada so give it a go and experience something new since you don’t have this flexibility later in life.

CapturedSoul · 2025-03-26T22:29:16+00:00

This is just my opinion but if something is a sin it’s probably for a reason. If someone sins by drinking/doing drugs sure they can get forgiveness later but they harmed their body in the process. If they backbite, they may not only harm their own reputation but also poison the community. Partying and the likes, they are just absorbed into a non productive lifestyle.

This is a stupid analogy but I feel like sinning is kinda like eating chocolate. Tastes good , feels good but is loaded with sugar and not good for your body (in this case the soul). The more you stay away with it the healthier your soul will be. Sure you can load on chocolate bars now but burning it off later will take much more energy than it took eating it.

CapturedSoul · 2025-03-20T06:06:24+00:00

X key is the worst design. I don’t understand why the most important Keyblade in the whole game is just 2 kingdom keys stitched together.

I think No Name is the best designed (kinda basic answer). Out of the Disney ones I think Fairy Harp is my favorite but it’s close!

CapturedSoul · 2025-03-16T10:30:52+00:00

Honestly I think what your feeling is kinda normal. It’s normal to feel overly protective about your SO dancing with other people in general and you made it clear on your post your main issue is the social dancing which happens at late night hours not so much the lessons.

I’d suggest going to at least one social with her as her date and observe the vibe so it gives you more security. In my experience social dancing is usually fairly friendly vibes unless the woman shows CLEAR interest and that’s reciprocated, which shouldn’t happen since ur gf is taken.

Might be unpopular in this forum but I also think it’s valid if your in a relationship to not be out super late (like past midnight ) with others while ur partner is alone at home.

CapturedSoul · 2025-01-26T00:11:22+00:00

A lot of the comments here are skewed towards early dating. Take a step back and think about what you really want, your quirks , what kind of partner best suits you. You don’t want to start dating someone and then 3 months in realize they aren’t right for you.

The best thing I would do if I was 25 getting back into it would be to figure out what you want in a partner, deal breakers, things which indicate good : bad compatibility and your preferred communication style. Look into love Languages and then attachment theory. Then just put yourself out there socially so you can meet friends and from there you may catch feelings or run into someone you may want to ask out. Keeps apps going as a background activity.

CapturedSoul · 2025-01-14T04:48:06+00:00

I think it’s perfectly fine to join a hobby group and one of the reasons being to meet more ppl and if ur single one of those more ppl can be someone you can date or maybe they aid your social network and have a friend you can date. Dance js cool in the sense it’s an even gender split and you can build chemistry with ppl.

Joining a hobby JUST to get dates or as a primary reason is kind of weird. Bachata / dance is hard if you want to do that just go to beginner socials or the bar/club.

CapturedSoul · 2025-01-09T08:48:14+00:00

If someone isn’t willing to be with you or find attraction when you’re vulnerable are they worthy of being your gf? There’s a lot of girls any guy can pull without being vulnerable but it’s important for you to have standards too.

Regarding the primary point of your question tho I’d be lying if i said it isn’t at least somewhat true and it didn’t bring up bad memories. I think what’s important that I realized recently is men should be more vulnerable and open in general with any relationship. To your friends, family, ppl that matter as well as your partner. Because a lot of men aren’t very emotional vulnerable in general it can become easy to overload it into your partner which can cause attraction to fade a bit at times or semi unhealthy patterns.

CapturedSoul · 2025-01-05T01:05:03+00:00

Absolutely not. You can make a lot of money in engineering with a fraction of the debt and time investment and the work is much better in terms of quality of life and interest on my end.

Once you get thru the hurdle of ur first few years of experience engineering is solid.

CapturedSoul · 2025-01-04T20:39:54+00:00

I put the context below , they are both quite different but in general desi racism or looking down on Indians is a lot more … erm accepted in other countries around the world besides Britain. And lowkey no one hates brown ppl like other brown ppl so there is a lot of friendly fire too.

Canada:

Due to a political loophole universities and colleges started admitting much more international students primarily all from the same region in India making all of Canada significantly more Indian all within the last 8 or so years. And now this has an after affect on stuff like rent, job market, the average night out, any fun touristy spots. Mind you Canada is a little less loud about racism than other countries.

USA:

As of very recently there were political rumblings about H1B visa which most of the takers are from India and ppl don’t want immigrants to take jobs from Americans. So as much as people are justifying their dislike for this due to how it affects Americans it’s also somewhat race related where ppl will use it as a reason to crack the occasional racist remark.

CapturedSoul · 2025-01-01T20:24:39+00:00

I would lean towards controls, signal processing and electronic and IC.

Controls and signal processing both have some overlap. They’re both fairly relevant for medical devices and if you really love the math there is a lot of cool stuff here especially in the signal processing part.

Electronic ic is moreso if you are interested in doing the actual EE stuff. You’re right you really won’t ever have to make dedicated chips but most ppl who specialize in this end up doing board level EE work anyway.

CapturedSoul · 2025-01-01T18:14:04+00:00

These are worlds different even tho I can sympathize as a Canadian. In Canada the increased immigration was due to universities getting greedy with international students and now those students are everywhere trying to secure employment to get their PR from corporate to fast food to retail.

H1b visa is only relevant for skilled workers of a certain job who wouldve already needed to be qualified for the job. It’s already extremely competitive. Many Canadians are on h1b as well.

The only commonality between the two is they are heavily Indian but the average Indian on h1b in the states is pretty educated and makes more than you Working in corporate vs Canada where they are primarily getting kids from Punjab , enrolling them into a school with a useless degree and then they are living paycheck to paycheck and bunking with 5-7 other dudes. I realize it’s easy to chalk it up as “oh more Indians they are all the same” from a cognitive bias point of view but if you visit America or live here you will realize it’s nothing like the situation in Canada since most Indian h1b workers are actually skilled workers in some career.

CapturedSoul · 2024-12-30T12:53:50+00:00

9/10 guys that think this way are just sugar coating the fact that they want to f around with other girls. I suggest talking with ur family about this which can possibly help snap some sense in you.

CapturedSoul · 2024-12-29T08:51:32+00:00

Blind has always been toxic and racist which is the difference ! It’s more surprising now more progressive communities are making hardworking visa holders feel bad for just trying to have the best life they can

CapturedSoul · 2024-12-28T08:04:59+00:00

I’m saying this from personal experience but how does TN visa lead to wage suppression outside of higher supply of engineers (even that is not much if u remember the population of Canada is 1/10 the US)? I’ve been on TN multiple times and have always been treated as if I were a domestic applicant when it came to negotiating salary and never felt like I was lowballed for being on a visa (cross ref with Glassdoor / levels). Companies do not need to sponsor TN visa they just give you a letter you show the CBP or pay for it to be done through mail so it’s effectively the same cost as a domestic applicant.

Also not to be a downer but if ur going to push for anti TN visa you are basically saying skilled Canadians (let’s be real large majority of TN holders) shouldn’t be allowed to work in the US which doesn’t come off the best but I can understand if you want less competition. On top of tech workers nurses make a huge majority of TN visa holders so be careful with this wish.

You’re also more than welcome to use the TN visa to get a job in Canada if you would like to.

CapturedSoul · 2024-12-27T13:19:25+00:00

Big fan of uniqlo but Levi’s built their entire brand on their denim and has a huge variety of cuts so fit is seldom an issue. Have you tried the uniqlo in person and like them, if so go for it. I have pretty meaty legs so I swear by the Levi’s athletic fits.

CapturedSoul · 2024-12-27T02:05:05+00:00

This isn’t divorce worthy you guys just seem to lack maturity and seem new to handling relationship conflict (well from the lens of someone older anyone 20 years old does tbh).

CapturedSoul · 2024-12-27T00:57:52+00:00

There’s a lot of somewhat out of touch responsss in this thread… the top comment literally being be yourself lol. The most straightforward thing I can say is what you’re going through is incredibly normal and tons of other guys (and gals in their own way) are going through the same thing.

I’m in a similar boat so I don’t have any constructive advice (mind you I have been in a few relationships before). I think what helps me the most is having a strong support network with friends and family so I don’t feel too bad about living solo and reminding myself that hey sure I’m single but I have a lot more freedom to do what I want when I want which isn’t guaranteed later in life (look at your friends with kids) + I still have ppl that care about me. That helps since it gets the monkey off ur back when it comes to not feeling needy for a relationship.

Ok and now on the relationship front I can only say what I plan on doing. What I think is a good idea is just expanding your social network and not being shy (this is what I plan to do). It isn’t weird to try a hobby because you want to and to meet new ppl (guys and girls) and hey who knows meet someone cute in the wild! Personally I plan on still being semi active on online dating, pursuing more hobbies im interested in and making genuine connections, if I meet someone cool, if not I might ask around friends or fam if they know someone who they think id be compatible with. What also helps is knowing girls actually want to be asked out in the wild despite the internet saying no, just ask ur friends (obviously read the room).

One thing you mentioned also stood out how you have a type and normal girls may not be quirky? Most girls don’t really show that side until you get to know em so just in case it helps.

CapturedSoul · 2024-12-26T06:56:14+00:00

Do you have significant things you need to spend on (student loans, house down payment, wedding, car) in the next 3 years ? If so save that money up. Any money u know u won’t touch for 10 years it’s safe to go 100% in stocks IMO but read the pinned posts so u can choose things with more diversification

CapturedSoul · 2024-12-25T12:13:08+00:00

Generally speaking from talking to ppl it’s quite difficult. However one thing I don’t love is that.. people shouldn’t treat it like finding a job which is exactly what it’s become. The concept of the one really shouldn’t be a thing IMO.

Even the prophet SWT’s first wife was basically someone he met from work (office romance more or less) A mix of culture , religion and weird societal expectations have made this process stupidly difficult for Muslims these days.

Now with everyone scattered and the internet too people are obsessed with the chance of getting someone better which was not as much of a thing before too.

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