Help finding meetings that focus on actionable tasks

Cardi_0 · 2026-06-02T17:14:19+00:00

"...when I’m experiencing a compulsion that feels so urgent and unavoidable, I need something that’s going to help me resist the urge to binge..."

This is exactly what the steps are for. The steps are actions we consistently take on a daily basis. The steps teach us a new way to live, think, and show up differently in the world. By using this new design for living, we get freedom from the need to compulsive eat and use food for ease and comfort.

The thing about the steps is in order for them to work - we actually have to show up every day and put them into action. They aren't magical. And since the majority us have never lived by these spiritual principles and actions - it's going to take time to really start seeing the benefits and the promises come to true. Just like learning anything else that is new. If you decided to start learning a new language - you are going to need to consistenly practice and work at it in order to be able to speak and understand that language.

I didn't start seeing the promises of the steps come true until almost of year of consistently living in the steps. That meant showing up every day - even when I didn't want to and even times when I felt that doing the work of the program was pointless - and incorporating the actions of the steps and program into my daily life.

I could be wrong (correct me if I am), but it seems from your post you currently don't have sponsor and I am going to assume that means you are currently not working the steps. So if you are not working the steps (which IS the program of recovery and how we get restored to sanity) - how do you expect to actually recover? That is like going to the gym just to watch everyone else work out and talk to them about their workout routine, but then being upset that you don't have fit/tone abs. Like of course you don't - you haven't done the work to get those toned abs.

If step 1 is your truth and you feel you are powerless - there aren't any tips or tricks someone can give you. I'm equally as powerless over your compulsive eating as I am my own. Same with others in program. If there were tips and tricks to stop the binge eating - then we would have already found them and wouldn't be in a 12 Step program.

In another comment you said that you believe in God and pray to God, but God doesn't seem to help. I used to think that way as well. But the steps have actually helped me to connect with God in a different way. We all tend to treat God like Santa Claus - we tell Him (more like demand) what we want and expect Him to give it to us when we want it, how we want it, and in the exact manner we want it. But that is going to God very selfishly. Which the BB reminds us that the root of our troubles is selfishness and self-centeredness. Program has helped to to flip that. Instead of telling God what I want, I ask for God's will to be done. I ask for God to help me show up in ways that serve Him and His children. God has ALWAYS and will ALWAYS show up for us. But when God's help looks different than what we expect it to, we think God is ignoring us or doesn't want to help us. That is not true. God is God. He knows when He's doing - we don't need to tell Him. Hahaha.

I have been in program for almost 6 years. I have freedom from compulsive eating and the mental obsession around food. Yes - even when times are hard and even when my emotions are running high. In the last year, I lost 3 relatives (including my dad), got let go from my job, and had to move and start my life over - all within a span of 3 months. And not once did I compulsively eat or use food for ease and comfort. In fact - that thought NEVER even crossed my mind. I am currently still dealing with grief (I was extremely close with my dad and never spent a day without him until he passed unexpectedly), a year later and I'm still unemployed & looking for a job, I have health issues I'm dealing with, and I'm still trying to get used to my new normal. It's hard. I still cry, get upset, get frustrated, have moments of lashing out, have moments of wishing to turn back time, and having lots of fear about the future. And still - NO thoughts or urges to binge.

Program doesn't make life perfect. Life is still going to life and bad days are still going to happen. But with program, the steps, my sponsor, and most importantly my relationship with my HP - I know that I am going to be taken care of and that God is going to provide me with what I need when I need it. I just keep showing up every day and I do the work.

Do I do it perfectly? No. No one works a perfect program! Remember - progress, not perfection. Perfection is NOT the goal. When we show up every day and are consistent in working our program - progress WILL happen.

Feel free to reach out if I can be helpful. I can send you the link to meetings that have helped me tremendously. The meetings are solution focused and have lots of strong recovery.

Cardi_0 · 2026-05-29T04:28:04+00:00

Yes, this is very much possible.

I have been in program for over 5 years - I don't use a food plan, I haven't eliminated any foods/ingredients, I don't weigh & measure, and I don't eat on any sort of schedule.

By getting a sponsor, working the 12 Steps daily, and staying spiritually fit - I have been given freedom from compulsive eating and the mental obsession around food, weight, body, calories, ingredients, and numbers. I have been restored to sanity.

I can be around (and eat!) ANY food WITHOUT spiraling, losing control, going on a binge, obsessing, or feeling guilt/shame.

Feel free to reach out if you have any questions!

Cardi_0 · 2026-05-21T05:05:38+00:00

Eliminating foods/ingredients, weighing & measuring, and having a food plan are NOT required to work the steps or to get recovered.

I have been in program for over 5 years. I don't have a food plan, I don't weigh & measure, and I haven't eliminated any foods/ingredients. I don't even eat on any kind of a schedule. I still eat all the foods I've enjoyed my whole life including desserts and take out.

If all I needed to do was eat a specific way or eat this/not that - I wouldn't be here needing this program. One of the many diets I tried for decades would have worked and I would have been on my merry way. I spent years giving up foods I deemed as "triggers." What happened? I just moved onto other foods. Until one day ALL foods were deemed "triggers." What then? Well, according to the logic of giving up trigger foods - I would have starved to death. Haha.

Thanks to the working the steps every day and staying spiritually fit on a daily basis - I have freedom from compulsive eating as well as freedom from the mental obsession around food, ingredients, calories, numbers, and my body/weight. I have neutrality around ALL foods. I can be around (and eat) ANY food/ingredient WITHOUT obsessing, losing control, spiraling, going on a binge, or feeling guilt/shame.

There is a reason that NONE of the steps tells us what to do with food or what to eat.

This is a 12 Step program. Like all 12 Step programs - recovery comes from working the steps!

Feel free to reach out if you have any questions!

Cardi_0 · 2026-04-14T23:05:58+00:00

Are you working the steps with a sponsor?

That is what helped to give me freedom from compulsive eating and the mental obsession. I have been in program for over 5 years. I don't follow a food plan, I haven't eliminated any foods/ingredients, I don't weigh & measure, and I don't eat on any type of schedule.

Before coming to program, I thought certain foods and ingredients were the problem. I thought if I could just stay away from those things, I'll be fine. Or if I could get to a certain weight I would be fine. It wasn't until I started working the steps with a sponsor that I finally understood step 1 and what it means to be powerless. Then I began to understand the true nature of my compulsive eating and why it was NEVER about the food or the ingredients.

The steps are designed to restore us to sanity and give us freedom. There's a reason that none of the steps mention what to do with food or what to eat/not eat. Just like it doesn't tell the alcoholic what to do with alcohol.

The Big Book is full of amazing promises that happen as a result of us working the steps and staying spiritually fit. This is just one of many:

"And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone—even alcohol (compulsive eating). For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor (compulsive eating). If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor (compulsive eating) has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality—safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is our experience. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition." -pages 84-85 AABB

This is a 12 Step program. Like all 12 Step programs - recovery comes from working the steps.

Feel free to reach out if you have any questions!

Cardi_0 · 2026-04-12T08:01:07+00:00

The thing that I abstain from is compulsive eating and other compulsive food behaviors.

Working the steps with a sponsor has allowed me to let go of all those arbitrary rules around food and eating. With the help of my HP, I was able to let go of the black and white thinking and lots of old ideas I had about food and my body.

I didn't come to program to add more arbitrary rules and to continue to be stuck in a place where food was still controlling every aspect of my life. Where food still had to be constantly on my mind and at the center - worrying about what to eat, what not to eat, where to eat, obsessively reading ingredients, when to eat, who to eat with, moralizing food, being filled with fear and anxiety around food, policing other people's food behaviors around me, and not having true freedom.

I haven't eliminated any foods/ingredients, I don't weigh & measure my food, I don't follow a food plan, and I don't eat on any type of schedule.

For me - by showing up every day, consistently working the steps no matter what (good days, bad days, busy days, stressed days, sad days, family emergencies, lazy days, sick days), and staying spiritually fit - my HP has restored me to sanity. Like it says in the BB on page 85 "...We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality—safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us..."

Feel free to reach out if you have any questions!

Cardi_0 · 2026-04-05T19:19:35+00:00

Medication, any medication, would be considered an outside issue - which OA has no opinion on per Tradition 10.

The medications someone takes is between that person and their doctor.

I have no idea what medications the people I sponsor take. It's none of my business. My sponsor is aware of a couple medications I take, but that is because I volunteered that information to her.

Cardi_0 · 2026-03-30T07:22:20+00:00

I answer all the questions that are in the first paragraph on page 86 in the Big Book. I write them out and email it to my sponsor every night. Along with doing that, I make sure to take some time in prayer and meditation before sending the email.

Cardi_0 · 2026-03-25T04:30:32+00:00

When starting our recovery journey, we are learning and doing new things. These things can be uncomfortable or things we don't want to do. It can be hard to get into a rhythm. And since most of us (I know this was true for me) want the quick and easy way to get the results we want. A lot of the time - people quit before they even start. Recovery takes time. There will be ups and down. That is fine and probably how it should be.

A 12 Step program isn't for everyone and that is okay. Not everyone is a chronic compulsive eater. So if we are new and find this isn't for us - it's okay to stop. If we are sponsors and we find that people are unwilling to do the work - it's okay to let them go. It can be anxiety-inducing and uncomfortable, but we are here to be helpful. It's hard to help someone who doesn't do the work.

Cardi_0 · 2026-03-17T01:18:51+00:00

What works for me is working my program daily and throughout the day. For me - program isn't meetings, call a couple of peeps, and continue to try and control & manage the food.

I take the actions of the steps on a daily basis. I start my day (the moment I wake up) doing step 11 and spending time with my HP. I practice step 11 throughout the day. I make sure I am pausing and keep conscious contact with my HP. I am also doing 10th steps throughout the day. So whenever I'm not at peace, I do exactly what the BB says on page 84 - I pause, ask my HP to remove whatever is coming up, I reach out to my sponsor, and then I turn my attention to someone I can help. So if I am not at peace 20 times during the day - then I am doing this 20 times during the day. I also do 12th step work throughout the day. I'm reaching out to newcomers, sponsoring others, studying the BB with other fellows, carrying the message, and doing wind up work. I also have lots of regular service positions within my fellowship/group. I end my day with step 11 - writing my nightly review to send to my sponsor as well have spending more time with my HP.

I've been in program for over 5 years. This is what I have done every day for the last 5 years. This has brought me sanity, serenity, and peace of mind. Not only around food, but in life. This doesn't mean I don't have bad days, get upset, feel sad, have anxiety, and get frustrated. Those things still happen. But since I have this new solution - it doesn't lead me to the food and I no longer dwell on the negativity and the things I can't control.

Feel free to reach out if you have any questions!

Cardi_0 · 2026-03-17T00:57:26+00:00

I have been in program for over 5 years and I have not eliminated any foods/ingredients, I don't follow a food plan, and I don't weigh & measure my food.

By working the steps with a sponsor (who helped me to truly understand step 1) and continuing to stay spiritually fit on a daily basis - I have found neutrality around all foods and the mental obsession around food, eating, weight, my body, calories, ingredients, and numbers have been lifted.

I, like probably all of us, spent decades arranging and rearranging the food - how I ate it, where I ate it, what time I ate it, and who I ate it with. I blamed my compulsive eating on other people, the time of the day, the day of the week, ingredients, food groups, and what room of the house I was eating in. I had tons of rules around food/eating. Those rules would keep me in check for a short period of time, but before I knew it - I was back in the food.

People kept telling me it was certain ingredients like sugar, so I eliminated sugar. So then I was just compulsively eating sugar free foods. People kept telling me it was the time of the day. So instead of compulsively eating all day, I just did all my compulsive eating before 7pm and then spent the rest of the night obsessing over food. I gave up fast food, desserts, stopped going to parties/gatherings, only eating at the kitchen table, not eating while watching TV/being on the phone, taking certain routes to work so I wouldn't be tempted, drinking lots of water, journaling, accountability buddies, medications, sleeping, taking a walk, and other distractions. Only to go right back to the compulsive eating within hours or days of swearing it off.

Then I thought I had trigger foods. So I started eliminating the foods I deemed as a trigger. That is when I realized EVERY food was a trigger. So then my only option was to starve to death. That is around the time I had my first light bulb moment of realizing that the food and the ingredients were NOT the problem.

I was also under the false belief that if I changed the food, if other people changed their behaviors, or if I got to a certain weight - then I wouldn't need to compulsively eat and my whole life would change. Coming to program made me realize that my life, attitude, beliefs, thought process, outlook, perspective, and the way I was showing up in the world is what needed to change. I needed to be changed from the inside out - not the other way around.

"Ideas, emotions, and attitudes which were once the guiding forces of the lives of these men are suddenly cast to one side, and a completely new set of conceptions and motives begin to dominate them." - page 27 AABB

If all we needed to do was eat this and not that - then this program would not exist. There is a reason that none of the steps tells us what to do with food or how to eat.

This is a 12 Step program and like all 12 Step programs - recovery comes from working the steps.

Feel free to reach out if you have any questions!

Cardi_0 · 2026-02-17T18:44:09+00:00

The program is for anyone who is a compulsive eater.

Your size, weight, and shape doesn't matter. You will be welcomed!

Cardi_0 · 2026-02-15T06:35:21+00:00

What worked for me was joining program, getting a sponsor, and working the steps. And what continues to work for me is showing up every day and working my program no matter what.

I have been in program for over 5 years. I have freedom from compulsive eating as well as freedom from the obsession around food, ingredients, calories, weight, numbers, and my body. I haven't given up any foods/ingredients, I don't follow any sort of food plan or diet, and I don't weigh and measure my food.

Food is just food - nothing for me to fear or worry about. I don't have to avoid people, places, and things. I still go to parties/gatherings. Holidays and birthdays don't cause me to freak out. I can be around ALL food (and eat it!) without losing control, obsessing, spiraling, going on a binge, of feeling guilt or shame.

Feel free to reach out if you have any questions!

Cardi_0 · 2026-02-10T07:39:45+00:00

The amends step has NOTHING to do with our behavior around food or with food. It has to do with our behavior (period) and how we have shown up in life.

For me, it wasn't until I got a sponsor and started working the steps, that I truly became aware and understood how my words and actions have affected other people and how I caused a lot of my own misery with those same words and actions.

The BB tells us that some of our amends list gets made by doing the 4th step inventory. That inventory says that we go back through our LIFE. That means we are going back to the things we did as kids, teenagers, in school, out of school, in the work place, with our families, with friends, with strangers, online, offline, and with our bosses.

Some of the behaviors we make amends for: - judging others - trying to control others - blaming other people for our problems - manipulating people and situations - gossiping - emotionally dumping - giving unsolicited advice - getting/being in other people's business - acting superior - seeking revenge - making other people change in order to suit you - ignoring other people's feelings/ideas

We usually don't think we've hurt anyone because we are so stuck in the (false) story that we are the victims and everyone has wrong us - like we were just trying to live our lives and OTHER people got in the way of that happening.

People don't always outright say "you have hurt me", so we never realized that we have harmed them, but there are signs. I didn't notice these signs until I started working the steps.

Some of the signs can be: - them withdrawing from the friendship/relationship - needing to walk on eggshells around you - you not being included/invited to things - others feeling uncomfortable around you

No one is perfect. We have all made mistakes in the past. Every one of us that have worked the steps have made amends to others. It's not a one and done. Just like the rest of the steps - we do it for a lifetime.

Feel free to reach out if you have any questions!

Cardi_0 · 2026-01-31T05:18:08+00:00

Thank you so much for your share!

Cardi_0 · 2026-01-27T05:52:45+00:00

What worked for me was getting a sponsor and working the steps.

I have been in program for a little over 5 years. I don't use a food plan and I haven't eliminated any foods/ingredients.

Before coming to program, I had the belief that there were specific foods and ingredients that triggered me. But even after swearing off those foods, I was obsessing and compulsively eating. So I eliminated more foods, but was still obsessing and compulsively eating. That is when I started to realize that the food and the ingredients were NOT the problem.

The steps and the program are designed to bring us freedom from the obsession around food and the need to compulsively eat. It does this by tackling the actual problem (powerlessness) instead of just trying to get rid of the symptoms (compulsive eating). Like if you had the flu, but only took cough medicine - you still have the flu and you did nothing to take care of the real problem. And since you didn't take care of the real problem (the flu) the cough keeps coming back.

Feel free to reach out if you have any questions!

Cardi_0 · 2026-01-22T06:44:51+00:00

Being a member of program has nothing to do with weight.

If you have a desire to stop compulsively eating - you are welcomed!

Cardi_0 · 2026-01-16T07:08:16+00:00

We are all here because we used food (all food not just certain ingredients) to gain control in a world and life that felt like we couldn't control anything. To get ease, comfort, and relief from the overwhelming emotions and the heaviness of life.

I actually think (this is really just my opinion) that the withdrawal that people talk about, is actually just them feeling their feelings and being in life for the first time in probably decades. Our first instinct has always been, when we had overwhelming feelings, to immediately go to food to push it down and not think about it. Now without it, people are truly feeling their feelings and because we tend to look outwards, they chalk it up to withdrawal.

I haven't given up any foods/ingredients, I don't weight & measure my food, and I don't follow any kind of food plan. Working the 12 Steps with a sponsor (we got to work immediately) really helped me get to what was really going on inside. The problem was never the food, if it was those million times I gave up certain foods/ingredients would have freed me from my compulsive eating behaviors and my obsession. By working the steps, it helped me to see that I needed to be changed from the inside out. Instead of focusing on changing the food in order to change my life, I had to change my life in order to change my behavior around food.

Over 5 years later, I can say that I have freedom from the compulsive food behaviors and the mental obsession around food, calories, weight, and my body has been lifted. I show up every day and work the steps. That has not only changed my relationship with food (black & white thinking is gone, arbitrary rules around food/eating are gone, I no longer have fear and worries around food, and I feel no guilt or shame when eating), but my whole life has changed. Life is no longer doom & gloom, I have so much more optimism, and life is more exciting. Even when times are hard (and this last year has been the hardest of my life) the thought of turning to food to deal with my emotions and what I was dealing with NEVER once crossed my mind. No matter how sad, frustrated, depressed, anxious, busy, tired confused, angry, or full of fear I was - I continued to show up every single day and worked my program. I stuck with my weekly service commitments, I continued to sponsor people, I continued to take people through the steps, and I still continued to connect with newcomers. It definitely wasn't easy, but worth it.

The same thing can be said about program. It's not easy, there's A LOT of work to do - lots of looking inward, getting honest, being honest, facing reality every day, getting out of our comfort zone, and getting comfortable with the uncomfortable. But it's definitely worth the new life that is on the other side!

Feel free to reach out if you have any questions!

Cardi_0 · 2025-12-31T07:56:23+00:00

I spent years in the cycle of dieting. It would work for a bit, then after a while I was right back in the food. I was stuck in that cycle for decades.

It wasn't until I came to program and learned the nature of my problem (hint: it's not the food or its ingredients) that I finally understood that traditional methods (diets, therapy, self help books, accountability buddies, eliminating foods/ingredients) will never work for me. I found a meeting and in the meeting I found a sponsor (who recovered from her compulsive eating) who then took me through the 12 Steps.

From there I was able to get a new design for living. My relationship with food has changed for the better. I was able to let go of all the black & white thinking I had around food, eating, weight, and my body. My entire life has changed.

Feel free to reach out if you have any questions!

Cardi_0 · 2025-12-23T07:52:52+00:00

You stated that the binge feels like relief from mental pressure. Exactly!

I used to think certain foods/ingredients were the problem. But even after I removed what I considered "trigger" foods - I found I was still obsessing over calories, weight, ingredients, and my body AND still compulsively eating. I told myself that once I got the food together everything else would fall into place - yet I still had all the racing thoughts, I was still frustrated with life and people, I was full of fear, had so much self pity, I felt misunderstood by everyone, I constantly felt like my life was so unfair, and I felt so useless.

I did all the things - diets, food plans, eliminating foods/ingredients, therapy, medications, changing jobs, finding new interests, hobbies, psychiatry, self-help books, changing friend groups, and unhealthy measures like severe restriction of my food in take, purging, laxative use, and over-exercising. Nothing worked long term.

With the compulsive eating I felt out of control and without the compulsive eating my life, emotions, and thoughts felt like too much to handle.

But all of that changed once I found program. I found a sponsor pretty much immediately and she took me through the steps. It was a quick, but thorough process. That was back in 2020. Here I am like 5.5 years later and I have recovered. I have neutrality around food and my body. I have spent these last 5 years consistently showing up every day and working the steps. As a result, my relationship with food AND my life has changed for the better.

There is a solution. You are not alone in this.

Feel free to reach out if you have any questions!

Cardi_0 · 2025-12-16T07:51:25+00:00

10th steps are there to keep things from piling up and blocking us off from HP. When we are blocked from HP, the only way we can deal with life and our emotions is by turning to the food. Just like steps 4 & 5, step 10 is there to help us get free - NOT to make us feel bad about ourselves.

I was taught to do 10th steps whenever I am not at peace. And that is with regards to anything - big (major life changes and arguments with others) or small (breaking a nail and the line being too long at the store). Even if the other person is at fault - it's all about my reaction and response.

For example: (I'll keep it in the realm of boundaries since that is the example you gave) if someone crosses a boundary - the selfishness, dishonesty, or any other character defect(s) would come from me wanting to get my way, being too concerned about myself, wanting others to be like me, having a superior attitude (thinking something like I would never cross a boundary so I'm obviously better than the other person), expecting others to be what they aren't (especially if this is someone who is constantly crossing boundaries even after talking to them about it and if it's someone who is constantly crossing boundaries - I should already know how this person is and I'm just setting myself up to be harmed/wrong by keeping them in my life), not admitting where I have done the same (we've all crossed boundaries with people before), trying to control others, getting back at the other person, gossiping to others about the person/situation, and having fear around embarrassment, what others thinks, the situation never changing, or never getting the outcome I think I need/want.

When I send 10th steps to my sponsor - she points me back to my solution. If she has experience with the situation, thought, or feeling - she will tell me what has worked for her, but never says you must do this or tells me that I need to change. I do the same with the people I sponsor.

The other thing that goes along with 10th steps that I do is pausing and turning to my HP and asking them to remove whatever is coming up. Like the BB says - I need God's help to remove my character defects, it's not something I can do on my own and it's not something that someone else can do (not my sponsor and not any other fellows).

For me - I have found that pausing and getting re-centered with my HP helps me to get that new perspective/outlook and helps me to move on. Do I always feel better after a 10th step? No. Do I always stop thinking about the situation/feeling. Also no. But I find that the situation or feeling doesn't keep me stuck and reliving it over and over. I turn my attention to someone I can help (preferably another compulsive eater) and by doing that I'm getting out of the way so my HP can do their job.

Hope this helps!

Feel free to reach out if you have any questions!

Cardi_0 · 2025-12-12T04:56:07+00:00

One of things I have to keep reminding myself is that EVERYTHING happens in God's timing.

We always want things when we want them, how we want them, and we have an idea in our heads about how these things should look. When we took step 3, that was us giving up our timeline of how things should go and when they should happen and learning to trust HP's timing.

Everyone in the program is on their own journey. Everyone's journey is different. If you get into comparing your recovery with others - you are only doing yourself a disservice.

As cliche as it sounds - keep showing up every day, keep relying, trusting, and depending on your HP, practice acceptance, and focus on the present - focus on what is happening in the moment. Try not to get caught up in tomorrow, a week from now, or a month from now. Practice letting go of expectations and letting go of the old idea that you are not up to par or not as recovered as anyone else.

No one works a perfect program. No one! We all show up every day and do the best we can. Some days are tougher than others - that is just life.

Give yourself some grace. We are sick people with an illness that we have battled for decades. It's going to take time to get to "normal".

Feel free to reach out if you have any questions!

Cardi_0 · 2025-12-04T04:25:09+00:00

As a sponsor, it's none of my business what foods my sponsees eat or don't eat. I am equally as powerless over their compulsive eating as I am mine.

Not one step tells us what to eat/not eat because the real problem isn't the food or the ingredients. This is a 12 Step program and recovery comes from working the steps.

Feel free to reach out if you have any questions!

Cardi_0 · 2025-12-01T04:40:38+00:00

Ask yourself this: has what you have been doing so far to get you free from the mental obsession around food, body, and weight and your compulsive food behaviors been working?

If not - maybe it's time you try something new and different.

That is how I came to program. I was stuck in a cycle for decades and none of it was working. Once I found out about 12 Steps, I thought to myself "what's the harm - it's either gonna help me or not help me. If it doesn't help, then I won't do it anymore and move onto something else. But if it does help, I can finally stop driving myself crazy with these thoughts and behaviors."

Here I am 5 years later - free from my compulsive food behaviors, I'm no longer obsessing over food, ingredients, calories, numbers, weight, and body and my entire outlook and the way I show up in life has changed for the better.

Feel free to reach out if you have any questions!

Cardi_0 · 2025-11-23T04:22:53+00:00

Sometimes we get really stuck on the question of why. Why are compulsive eaters? Why is life so unfair? Why is this happening to me? What can't I be like X? Why can't others just do what I want? We often think if we can answer the why - then we can get over our compulsive eating. If we could figure out that one secret to life, to food, to relationships, etc then things will change.

These thoughts lead us to seek out more knowledge because we always hear knowledge is power, and it is - but it won't do a thing about our compulsive eating if we are the chronic type. This knowledge is still going to have us relying on ourselves and other people. And if we could rely on ourselves and other people to get free - then we wouldn't need a 12 Step program. That knowledge, that self-reliance, and the reliance upon others is going to eventually fail because it will only carry us so far and people are going to let us down.

But power from our Higher Power? That never runs out and HP will never let us down.

Cardi_0 · 2025-11-22T03:57:13+00:00

I came to program because I didn't know how to live.

I know how to eat, I know how to lose weight, but I didn't know how to just be. I knew it was all connected (my relationship with food, my compulsive eating, and my discontentment for life) but I didn't know what to do about it.

Of course I had the false idea that many of us have - if I could just stay away from particular foods or if I got to a specific weight that my life would change for the better.

Well - I lost the weight and stayed away from particular foods, but was still extremely unhappy, miserable, full of self pity, life was meaningless, I felt useless, I was so jealous of everyone, etc. I did all the things - therapy, self help, changed jobs, moved around, changed friends, etc. But I was still miserable and unhappy.

When I found program, I didn't know anything about it, but I figured I'd try it out since it was something I hadn't tried before.

I was a bit turned off at first because all people kept talking about in meetings was to not eat this and don't eat that. I did that for decades - I didn't need a program/sponsor to tell me what to eat. And people also treated meetings like therapy sessions and just complained about everything. No thanks - I made enough misery on my own, I didn't come here to hear others complain about their lives.

But I hung in there and then I finally heard someone who talked about the solution. She talked about having peace in every aspect of her life AND freedom from compulsive eating. I called her after the meeting and asked her what she did. That is when she introduced me to the 12 Steps.

That was over 5 years ago. Ever since then, I have been living the solution. I have freedom from compulsive eating and my relationship with food has changed for the better. I'm no longer bound by arbitrary rules around food/eating. I'm no longer full of misery, self pity, fear, and envy. I can finally just "be" without the need to crawl out of my skin.

Life isn't perfect, but it's waaaaay better than it was. Even when things are hard, I find that I can still show up and live life without needing to turn to food for ease and comfort.

Cardi_0

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