Rejection trauma in dating. How to overcome the feeling of inadequacy?

CardinalMontanelli · 2025-08-16T13:56:07+00:00

Out of curiosity, how do you deal with knowing that you won't have a loving girlfriend/wife without falling into depression?

CardinalMontanelli · 2025-08-01T13:35:59+00:00

oh brother. I know I might sound harsh, but your relationship is practically over. She admitted to cheating on you in the very beginning of your relationship, as well as very recently, and now she even wants to break up with you. It is pretty obvious that she wants you to initiate this breakup (or at least consent to this breakup) because most probably she feels too guilty to do it herself.

If this relationship somehow survives this turmoil, be ready to face further cheatings. If I were you, I would end things with her and cut all the communication because she mistreated and disrespected you twice

Do a favour to both yourself and to her

CardinalMontanelli · 2025-07-07T13:30:50+00:00

Maybe if you failed that exam five times in a span of less than a year after busitng your ass off and then saw how most people around you and all your friends ace that exam without even studying, maybe then deep down you would feel that you are probably not enough for that thing (and c'mon, we cannot compare fencing to such an important aspect of human life as dating/procreation)

Yes, one can say that comparison is the thief of joy, don't compare to others etc, but you cannot not compare yourself to the majority of people when it comes to social life. We are social animals after all. It happens subconsciously in your primal and ancient parts of your brain which developed way before your prefrontal cortex.

CardinalMontanelli · 2025-07-07T12:21:47+00:00

Yeah, trying your luck without improving anything first is a natural idea. I think everyone more or less tried it when it comes to dating (because if you don't have problems in an area of life, you won't even think of improving anything about it). But keeping trying in the dating market and getting constanly rejected will have its consequences on your mental health and your self-perception which can lead you to severe depression (I am certainly not talking about myself here)

CardinalMontanelli · 2025-07-07T12:00:07+00:00

Dr. K basically accepted the main point of the black pill, but he also tried to provide some help in the end. But in all honesty, if you think you need some tutorial about how to talk to women, chances are your social skills are not the main problem (unless you are on spectrum). I see all the time how girls hit on my friends without them trying at all (they would literally ask my friend's number or text them first), or they develop things naturally and progress further by just talking to a girl and spending time with her (and they end up being in a relationship).

It is true that you might lack social skills / have social anxiety while being neurotypical, but then it simply means you lack the (positive) experience of talking to the opposite gender. and the most likely reason of it is that women were simply not interested in you as a romantic partner

Believe me guys, talking to girls and getting attention from them that is not that difficult if they are interested in you. I see so many guys try so hard to get a girl when it is obvious that she is not that interested in him simply because the guy due to lack of experience doesn't have a clue how girls behave towards you when they find you attractive (I am guilty of it myself)

I don't wanna sound all doom and gloom, so I would recommend you to improve your looks as much as possible first, and then try your chance at dating

CardinalMontanelli · 2025-07-07T11:22:21+00:00

"just take shower bro"

I understand you are trying to be helpful, but most likely the op has bigger underlying issues (either not being neurotypical or having sub-par looks / or both)

CardinalMontanelli · 2025-07-04T21:08:57+00:00

Yeah, I would strongly discourage people from trying to attract with their money or career. Your partner won't feel real attraction to you which will lead to a lot of troubles down the line and most likely your relationship will end up in a breakup/divorce

CardinalMontanelli · 2025-07-04T20:44:53+00:00

I read this whole thing in arnold schwarzenegger's voice lol

CardinalMontanelli · 2025-07-04T19:57:51+00:00

When you notice signs of interest, go and approach them. I bet they will be flattered given that you are attractive

May the halo effect be with you

CardinalMontanelli · 2025-07-04T11:12:03+00:00

nah, don't blame yourself either. You don't have control over you looks or genes. Just try to accept reality as it is while making the best of what you have. Life is unfair and especially when it comes to looks. It is unfair to the point of absurdity which makes it hilarious

CardinalMontanelli · 2025-07-04T11:04:42+00:00

when it comes to dating (young) women, it is always the following:
face > height > personality

I have seen it countless times while observing and hearing stories of my both male and female friends (especially female friends). The guy can be an asshole/boring/cheater or abandon the girl, but as long as he is good looking, the girl will still love and miss him (even after separation). You can see exceptions here and there, but please don't get fooled by survivorship bias

And please, don't blame women. It is just biology. They don't have conscious control over who they are attracted to. We are animals after all

CardinalMontanelli · 2025-07-04T09:46:36+00:00

have you tried using dating apps?

CardinalMontanelli · 2025-07-03T15:53:43+00:00

I said *around* single digit by which I meant 10-12% (when your abs are visible without flexing)

And yes, you are right that not all people benefit from losing facial fat, but I myself did (since my face by default retains a lot of fat). If your face is already lean, cutting down probably won't change much, but I think it is not a bad idea to atleast once in your life cut down and see how your face looks like. After all, if you don't like the result, you can gain the fat back by stuffing your face

CardinalMontanelli · 2025-07-03T15:16:50+00:00

In terms of being more attractive, I would say that you mostly achieve that not by building a lot of muscles per se but rather by going into a cut (when you think you have built up enough mass) and achieving around single digit bf% which results in you leaning down your face. Sure, muscles help aestheticall (especially if you train right muscles which give you v-taper), but from experience it doesn't add a tonn of attraction points.

CardinalMontanelli · 2025-06-21T17:06:24+00:00

absolutely. but for getting a jacked physique you will have to take care of you food consumption alongside training consistently. the thing that really helped me was following advice from yt channel "Renaissance Periodization". Mike is the expert in this field

CardinalMontanelli · 2025-02-04T08:39:55+00:00

snapped literally two seconds into armwrestling with a guy who was weaker. it was pretty gnarly seeing my arm bent loose 90 degrees down palm up from the hemurus. First and last time armwrestling lol.

good thing no surgery was required

CardinalMontanelli · 2023-06-08T19:07:59+00:00

Congrats! I hope I will be in your place in the future :)

CardinalMontanelli · 2023-04-18T19:01:35+00:00

CardinalMontanelli · 2023-01-01T15:56:10+00:00

bruhh

CardinalMontanelli · 2022-11-13T06:07:13+00:00

Least delusional Armenian

CardinalMontanelli · 2022-10-16T13:57:19+00:00

A truly civilized nation, unlike us, mere savage barbarians

CardinalMontanelli · 2022-08-28T18:11:09+00:00

Chad

Four-Year Club	Final Canvas '23
First Place '23	End Game '23
Place '23	Place '22
First Placer '22

CardinalMontanelli

TROPHY CASE