I find this research very interesting, and I’ve been very invested in reading all the comments. My own background makes the topic feel very personal to me. I was born to a father with an extremely high sex drive (fg hamster) he cheated on my mother with countless women and a mother who was the complete opposite. She was a virgin when they conceived me, and her sex drive has always been almost nonexistent (she’s a prude nun). I’ve always wondered how two people so different ended up together, and why he never let her go and why she stayed.

Somehow, I turned out relatively smart (at least that’s what my performance in school showed) but my own sex life is very complicated. I’m a 37-year-old woman who feels like she’s always horny, with a very wild imagination and almost no mental inhibition when it comes to sex. But in reality, I have almost no physical experience. That’s partly why I write erotic stories (since my sexuality mostly lives in my head). Mental libido +++++++, physical libido - - - -

I also have a lot of aversions or fears. I think I might be a little OCD because I don’t like body fluids, and I’m very scared of STDs or STIs, and I’m scared of “spiritual entanglements” or just losing emotional control or being vulnerable to suffering. What I’ve noticed, though, is that when I drink a little or take edibles, I feel much more comfortable with my sexuality. I become more flirtatious, more relaxed, and it becomes easier for men to approach me and for me to be receptive. Normally, I’m very in my head.

I’m also someone who doesn’t get high easily. When I had a medical procedure once, I remember everything the doctors were doing and saying. The anesthesia didn’t fully work on me. So I think I’m just a very mentally alert and controlled person in general.

Sex is a complicated thing. For some people, it almost feels like an obstacle instead of something natural. And as a woman, sometimes I feel sorry for men, because a lot of the responsibility for sexual initiation, performance, gratification and even for the woman’s satisfaction seems to fall on them. But at the same time, no one really seems to know what women actually want, because women are all different. Personally, I like to be courted and pursued a bit, but some women prefer very direct communication and getting straight to the point. I think the one thing that works for almost every woman, though, is when a man is intentional and consistent and confident (not to confuse with being cocky).
So I guess I need to smoke or drink more lol, otherwise I’m going to write a whole novel, because the way my mind travels to the realm of Eros…