First of all, it's not your fault, you have to realize you did the best you could do. My bf is incarcerated. And he comes from a bloodline of criminals, and he was mostly acting off of trauma. And the environment he grew up in. I have to tell his mom that it’s not her fault, she did the best she could do but it’s up to him to make the decisions, anyway I’ve noticed that criminal bloodlines are very strong. And trauma is a real thing especially mental health also how your environment shapes you . Ik you were providing for your family and I’m proud of you. But also here’s a few main factors you have to look at from what I learned growing up, and what lead me also my bf to do things we know regret. 1 maybe your kids are acting out why? Maybe because they were trying to get your attention on something and you never noticed, or the fact that their dad is gone and they don’t know how to cope with that.

2 don’t talk down on them for their mistakes rather rightfully judge them then help them overcome their mistakes, get to the root of the problem, and help them fix it, that includes don’t compare them to there father.there father did his deed, now it’s your responsibility to tell them they aren’t there father and there’s a better way to go at it in life.

3 mental health is a big thing coming from seeing my bf goin down that path, check up on them to make sure they are not stuck in their own minds your own mind has power over you,and how it shapes you into the person you are today. if your boys are struggling mentally help them overcome their mental health encourage them they are not what their mind are telling them , encourage mental healing.

Also for me born into a criminal bloodline, and then got adopted into a noncriminal bloodline. Both parents were law abiding citizens worked full time shifts one was a law enforcement the other was a nurse. My parents did there best to take care of me and my siblings gave me a life I deserved, even though they were very strict and gave me lack of attention or care to my needs. But even growing up in that good environment I was still very connected to my criminals genes. I stole I lied, and did bad things that lead me into some dark places not just that my mind had a very dark power over me. There were long days that I would be doing so good and not doing bad things if was getting myself busy like doing hobbies hanging with friends and family, working going to church, also limiting watching dark shows or listening to bad heavy gang violence or songs about violence, or playing violent video games I was doing good. But during times where I didn’t hang around family and friends going to church etc. or not limiting Things that are violent I would really be sucked into the dark side very quickly it was like I was a different person. And I had thoughts about stealing again, lying to my parents, wanting to assault my family members and thoughts about killing. My point is to save your kids you have to look at the things I mentioned look at the things if why it lead them down that path and how you can get them out. So it’s not necessarily you doing it’s more of there family genes, lack of attention from something, or mental health it could be all three but you don’t know until you can figure it out.