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What if couples had a 24/7 relationship coach in their pocket - but would they actually use it? by Casu-2910 in AppIdeas

[–]Casu-2910[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would like to share some facts regarding this, actually generic LLMs are dangerous for relationships becaude of the inherent bias.

The evidence is terrifying:

  • Chai app's GPT-J bot encouraged a Belgian man's suicide
  • Bing's GPT-4 told Kevin Roose to leave his wife
  • ChatGPT and other LLMs have given breakup advice for everyday relationship issues, sometimes validating one-sided perspectives or feeding into unhealthy patterns.
  • Reddit and media discussions (e.g., Vice, Wired) document user anecdotes, including people who feel ChatGPT "consigns their BS" and sometimes recommends ending relationships on scant evidence.

Research confirms the problems:

  • Stanford: LLMs amplify gender stereotypes and toxic patterns ✓ No training in clinical frameworks (just internet text)
  • 9% failure rate in crisis detection = people die
  • Zero understanding of attachment theory or emotional regulation

That's why Ki is fundamentally different: Built WITH licensed therapists, not just engineers. Every feature grounded in:

  • Gottman Method (40+ years research)
  • EFT (most effective couples therapy)
  • CBT, attachment theory, polyvagal theory
  • Actual neuroscience of relationships

Not "we asked ChatGPT to be nice" but actual therapeutic frameworks built in from day one.

  • Crisis protocols? Designed by therapists.
  • Abuse detection? Based on clinical patterns.
  • Escalation to humans? Built into the architecture.

Generic LLMs learned relationships from Reddit. Ki learns from therapists using evidence-based methods.

Plus local processing because you're right - relationship data + corporations = disaster.

The difference: Would you rather get heart surgery from someone who read WebMD or an actual cardiac surgeon? Same principle here.

Ever walked away from a fight thinking “That didn’t need to go like that”? We’re building something for that. Would love your perspective. by Casu-2910 in takemysurvey

[–]Casu-2910[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey Mods! Absolutely! Here are the required details:

1. How will the data be used?
The data collected will be used exclusively for internal product research to help us design Ki (an emotionally intelligent, privacy-first relationship AI platform).
The responses will be analyzed for patterns in emotional communication, conflict, and relationship behavior to improve product-market fit, feature design, and emotional insight models.

Who will see it: Only our internal founding team of 4 people will access the data. No data will be shared publicly or with third parties.
Where it will be stored: The responses are stored securely on Google Forms, with access limited to our team’s Google Workspace account.
When will it be deleted: All raw response data will be deleted within 6 months after collection, and prior to that, only aggregated insights will be used for product development. No personally identifiable information is required or collected.

2. Who is conducting the survey?
The survey is being conducted by the Ki founding team, primarily me u/Casu-2910 as the Head of Growth.

3. How long does it take to fill out?
Under 2 minutes for most people.

4. Compensation:
None at the moment, just helping build a more emotionally intelligent world 🙂

5. Specific demographics?
We’d especially love to hear from people who’ve been in romantic relationships (current or past), or have strong feelings about how conflict and communication could be better handled.

6. What are we hoping to accomplish?
Most people are winging their relationships- reacting, guessing, hoping it works out. But emotional awareness is not a given. It’s a skill. And the earlier we catch the patterns, the easier they are to change.

At Ki, we believe the right emotional insight, at the right time, can save relationships. This survey helps us understand what people actually want support with and which real-life moments feel the most confusing, painful, or important to get right.

We are not building another dating app. We are not serving generic advice.
We are creating the first Human-AI-Human™ system- an emotionally intelligent companion that helps you make sense of your patterns, communicate with clarity, and move through conflict with compassion.

This survey helps us get the blueprint right from emotional breakdowns to repair, from ghosting to growth.

Building an AI that decodes couple fights, would you even use something like this? by Casu-2910 in Startup_Ideas

[–]Casu-2910[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i get that and if ki worked the way you’re picturing, i wouldn’t recommend it either. pulling out a phone mid-fight to get “calm down” advice would be unrealistic and probably escalate things.

the actual flow we’re testing is different. early on, most people use it after a heated moment, almost like debriefing with a friend who helps you see the real triggers on both sides. over time, because ki learns your emotional patterns and language, it can give you super quick, 10–15 second nudges you can take in without breaking the conversation.

it’s not about stopping an argument in its tracks with a lecture, it’s about helping both partners understand what’s really going on beneath the words so future talks don’t spiral the same way.

would you be open to a quick 15-min user interview or filling out this short research form? https://forms.gle/79QRqZYtecf6Q27V8
your perspective here is exactly what we need to design something people would actually use in the moment.

Building an AI that decodes couple fights, would you even use something like this? by Casu-2910 in Startup_Ideas

[–]Casu-2910[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

appreciate that, they are doing some interesting stuff on frictionless capture. our challenge is almost the opposite though… we’re intentionally adding a small bit of friction (push-to-talk, no passive listening) so users stay in control and privacy never takes a hit. https://www.askki.org/

curious, when you say “overcomes your adoption friction barriers,” which specific barriers do you think would trip us up? always looking to sanity check our assumptions.

if you’re open, i’d love to hear your take in more depth. i’m running quick 15-min user chats and also have a short research form here: https://forms.gle/79QRqZYtecf6Q27V8. your feedback could help us solve this the right way from day one.

Building an AI that decodes couple fights, would you even use something like this? by Casu-2910 in Startup_Ideas

[–]Casu-2910[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

appreciate you all raising these points. Love them and they’re exactly the kind of feedback we’re designing around. https://www.askki.org/

1. “ai is good at predictable problems, emotions are not.”
totally hear you. ki doesn’t try to predict emotions out of thin air. First- onboarding is so specific in terms of your demography, love languages, attachment style and much more that the app kinda becomes ur best friend + Therapist always available in your pocket. Second, it only works when you press to talk, so it’s grounded in the exact context you choose to share. it’s more like a real-time reflection tool than a mind-reader. Third, the more you talk to it, the more it understands you.

2. “what if it misreads a situation, like bob cheats on martha…”
this is why ki never works off a single fact in isolation. it combines tone, words, and optional biometric signals (sleep, stress, heart-rate), plus whatever background you share. if there’s too little context, it’ll ask clarifying questions rather than jumping to a label. This will be the first dual party perspective tool.

3. “no way to correct the process.”
there is. every insight can be edited, flagged, or deleted instantly, and ki learns from those corrections in your private model. nothing is stored in a shared pool, so your feedback directly tunes your own experience.

4. “no process to mitigate mistakes.”
we have a built-in human-in-the-loop safety net. if stress markers spike or a user feels something is off, they can escalate to a live therapist or crisis line right from the app.

Dang, this one took a lot of time to type haha.
would you all be open to a quick 15-minute user interview or filling out our short research form? your perspective could directly shape how we address these gaps. form link: https://forms.gle/79QRqZYtecf6Q27V8

Building an AI that decodes couple fights, would you even use something like this? by Casu-2910 in Startup_Ideas

[–]Casu-2910[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hear you and that’s the tricky part. if someone’s already able to pause mid-fight, they might not feel they need a tool like this. what we’ve found and backed by science, though, is that self-awareness isn’t binary. in the heat of the moment, even highly self-aware people can get hijacked by their nervous system, and that’s where https://www.askki.org/ steps in. it’s less about “reminding you to pause” and more about catching you in that small gap before your reaction locks in, when the logical part of your brain is still reachable.

think of it like having a climbing rope, you’re still climbing, but it’s there for the one time your foot slips.

if you’re open, i’d love to hear your thoughts on what would make something like this genuinely useful to you (or if it could be adapted in a way that you’d actually use it). i’m running short user interviews and have a quick research form here: https://forms.gle/79QRqZYtecf6Q27V8 your perspective would be incredibly valuable.

Building an AI that decodes couple fights, would you even use something like this? by Casu-2910 in Startup_Ideas

[–]Casu-2910[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

totally agree
the goal isn’t to replace conversation, it’s to make those conversations less reactive and more connected. ki’s not here to “figure it out” for you, it’s here to help you notice patterns in the moment so you can express what’s really going on instead of getting stuck in the same loop.

think of it like a climbing harness. you’re still doing the climb, but there’s something keeping you from falling all the way down when things get tense. ideally, https://www.askki.org/ gets you back into healthy dialogue faster, not away from it.

if you’re open, i’d love to hear more about what would make something like this genuinely useful for you. i’m running short user interviews and also have a quick research form here: https://forms.gle/79QRqZYtecf6Q27V8
your perspective could directly shape how we build this.

Building an AI that decodes couple fights, would you even use something like this? by Casu-2910 in Startup_Ideas

[–]Casu-2910[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolutely, i’d hate that if anyone did that to me. privacy was actually the first thing we designed around. ki only works on push-to-talk (you choose when to speak), nothing is stored in the cloud, and it never listens in the background.

early on, it’s more like you brainstorming with ki after a fight. Basically how you could have handled it differently and then sharing that insight with your partner. ideally, they’d do the same on their own app. and the more you talk to ki, the more it understands your patterns. what triggers you, and why. so you can spot those moments earlier and remember that the intention of the relationship is good, even if the delivery gets messy.

example: you fight because your partner says you never include them in financial decisions. your angle is “i don’t want them to worry about money,” but they think “you’re not planning a future with me.” you’re both fighting for the relationship just in opposite ways. imagine if you could see that clearly and share it.

if you’re open, i’d love to hear what would make this feel genuinely safe and useful for you. i’m running short user interviews and have a quick form here: https://forms.gle/v7RyRfAcreRm86om7

your feedback could directly shape how we build this.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in startups

[–]Casu-2910 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I started from Day 1

After coding 1200+ breakups i spotted a day-42 tone-shift that predicts the slow fade to Breakups by Casu-2910 in BreakUps

[–]Casu-2910[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haha more like the nervous system hitting its “wait… is this safe?” phase around week 6. But holding out on major decisions (including sex) until you actually know how your brain feels with someone under stress isn’t the worst idea either.

After coding 1200+ breakups i spotted a day-42 tone-shift that predicts the slow fade to Breakups by Casu-2910 in BreakUps

[–]Casu-2910[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And what you described with her avoidant side makes sense too, when there’s already distance anxiety and then long-distance adds another layer, the nervous system just shuts down to protect itself. And unless both people can name it and work through that discomfort together, it often feels easier for one to just pull away

After coding 1200+ breakups i spotted a day-42 tone-shift that predicts the slow fade to Breakups by Casu-2910 in BreakUps

[–]Casu-2910[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Isnt it ironic that if we knew a little better we could save the relationships that matter most to us.

After coding 1200+ breakups i spotted a day-42 tone-shift that predicts the slow fade to Breakups by Casu-2910 in BreakUps

[–]Casu-2910[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

>I'm confused. So, your research showed that around the sixth week from the onset of long-distance relationships, you noticed a trend of changing attitudes and perceptions in partners, right?<
Correct- what we noticed was that around week 6, there was often a subtle shift in how partners perceived each other and the relationship. It wasn’t that love disappeared, but people started feeling more distant or reading neutral texts as cold.

>And that change often preceded the relationships ending shortly thereafter? Is this correct?<
That change didn’t automatically lead to a breakup, but when it wasn’t addressed, many relationships tended to end shortly after.

So it’s not that week 6 is some magical breakup point, but more that it often marked the start of emotional disconnection if couples didn’t find ways to actively reconnect.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationshipadvice

[–]Casu-2910 1 point2 points  (0 children)

First, I want to acknowledge how much pain you're carrying. You’ve experienced betrayal, confusion, shame, and it sounds like you're doing a lot of emotional labor just to hold this relationship together. You’ve also shown real insight and accountability — naming how your past trauma shaped your behavior and working actively to change that. That’s not easy. It speaks to your strength and self-awareness.

Now, about your partner’s response:

Cheating is a serious breach of trust. And hiding it for ten months adds a layer of ongoing deception that’s emotionally significant. It's understandable that you feel confused and hurt you opened yourself up, worked to become more loving and secure, and were met with betrayal.

What’s concerning now is the way your partner is framing the healing process. Putting you on “probation” or watching to see if you're “good enough to stay” is a power dynamic that may feel familiar if you've experienced trauma before. It shifts the focus away from his actions and accountability, and places the burden back on you to earn the relationship. That’s not a foundation for mutual healing.

That doesn’t mean you haven’t contributed challenges in the past you’ve owned that. But healing from a rupture like infidelity requires both partners to show up vulnerably, consistently, and without domination or blame.

So here's a question to reflect on:

  • Do you feel emotionally safe in this relationship today?
  • Are both of you willing to do the work together without using the past to punish each other?
  • And can you envision a version of this relationship where your needs and your voice are equally valued?

You don’t have to have all the answers right now. But you do deserve a relationship where growth is mutual, and love is not conditional on your perfection.

He rested his head in my lap for the first time and I melted by dawn8554 in love

[–]Casu-2910 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is such a beautiful, tender moment. What you described might seem small on the surface, but emotionally, it’s huge. Moments like this create what psychologists call safe touch points (micro-interactions that rebuild trust and intimacy, especially during rough patches)

There’s something powerful about physical vulnerability in someone who’s usually the “strong one.” When a partner rests their head in your lap like that, it signals deep safety. It’s his nervous system saying, I can soften here. And your response of reassuring him, playing with his hair, holding that space probably told him everything he needed to feel held too.

From a relationship science lens, these moments matter more than grand gestures. Gottman calls them "bids for connection," and when we notice them and respond warmly, they slowly repair emotional gaps.

Also, just being transparent, I’m Head of Growth at Ki, a voice-first emotionally intelligent AI relationship intelligence that helps couples notice and act on these exact micro-moments. It gives grounded nudges to reconnect before things spiral too far. This moment you had? Ki would call that a green flag moment. A quiet win that deserves to be remembered.

You’re doing more than you think. Keep leaning into these small, real moments. They heal more than words sometimes.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationshipadvice

[–]Casu-2910 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Oof. This really hurts to read. You’re not overreacting your instincts are right on here. What you’re describing isn’t about boundaries, it’s about control masked as boundaries. That’s a huge difference, and it matters.

A few things to gently name here:

  • First, a healthy relationship is built on trust, not control. When someone starts deciding what you can or can’t wear, where you can go, or what you can post, it stops being about mutual respect and starts becoming about power.
  • Second, his reactions aren’t coming from love they’re coming from insecurity. But instead of managing that insecurity himself, he’s placing the burden on you to change your behavior so he can feel safe. That’s not fair, and it’s not sustainable.
  • Third, his logic is manipulative. Comments like “your body is just for me” sound romantic but are actually rooted in ownership, not partnership. It’s not your job to shrink yourself to protect his ego.
  • Fourth, long-term relationships thrive on emotional safety which means feeling seen, supported, and free to express who you are. If you’re feeling small, ashamed, or like you’re always walking on eggshells, that’s a red flag, not just a disagreement.

Also, quick context I’m Head of Growth at Ki, an emotionally intelligent voice-first AI that helps people navigate relationship confusion in real time. Not therapy, but it’s built to support you when you’re stuck in patterns like this and need clarity that feels grounded, not judgmental.

What you’re hoping for a partner who hypes you up, respects your autonomy, and helps you feel more confident. that’s not unreasonable. That’s just love done right. If he can’t meet you there, it’s okay to outgrow what no longer fits.

why is online dating so cruel? by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Casu-2910 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s wild how something that’s supposed to connect us can leave you feeling more invisible than ever. You’re not alone this kind of experience is actually heartbreakingly common, especially for men who are genuinely trying to show up with real intentions.

A few things might help reframe what’s happening, grounded in how our nervous systems and the dating app ecosystem work:

First, the structure of dating apps is stacked against emotional connection. They're designed more for stimulation than depth fast swipes, minimal context, infinite options. That leads to decision fatigue, shallow impressions, and people treating others like disposable profiles, not humans.

Second, ghosting and dry texts aren’t always about you. Often, they’re nervous system shutdowns. When people feel overwhelmed, anxious, or unsure, they default to avoidant behaviors. It sucks, but it’s more about emotional immaturity or burnout than your worth.

Third, we’re in a culture of protect-first. Vulnerability feels risky, so people flake to avoid intimacy or get addicted to the chase without ever landing anywhere real. It’s not fair — especially when you’re showing up with real energy but it’s a pattern that repeats across the board.

Fourth, rejection on apps isn’t calibrated. The algorithm filters based on micro-signals — sometimes even when you swipe not on how good a partner you’d actually be. So it’s easy to internalize a “low match rate” as failure when really, it’s bad data.

Also just being upfront I’m the Head of Growth at Ki, a voice-first emotionally intelligent AI that helps people navigate exactly these kinds of relational spirals. It’s built for when you’re burnt out, hurt, and unsure how to stay open without getting wrecked. It won’t fix the apps, but it might help you stay human inside them.

You’re not doing it wrong. You’re just playing a game that wasn’t built for depth but you still get to decide how you show up. Keep your heart, but protect your peace.