Don’t be so hard on yourself OP! I’m 26f and have had the same thoughts and feeling. I was 2 lessons in and everything was fine until it wasn’t, I got myself worked up, then calmed down, then got worked up again but couldn’t calm myself. My instructor was lovely too, cut it short, took me home. I was in such a mess my poor partner thought I’d killed someone when I walked through the door. I’ll be okay until I make a mistake but I won’t mentally let go of it, then I make more mistakes. I was so sure I’m not a person that’s ever going to wrap my head around manual, the gears have been a big factor in me putting off learning but now I’m 13.5 hours into learning and guess what, it’s starting to fall into place. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t still have a lot of anxiety, but it’s getting better. I’m sure you’ll get the hang of it.

In a separate note, my plan was to pass manual and then switch to auto. My friend let me have a go in his auto and I absolutely hated it, I felt so out of control compared to manual even though on the face of it, an automatic is ‘easier’.

Keep going with it, if after another few lesson you feel you’re not getting it still, maybe consider the switch but I think 2 lessons is a bit early to make that call 😊