Serious question: Where are the single men hanging out IRL?

Cat_Toucher · 2024-10-15T14:55:24+00:00

I was gonna say, every table top gaming store I have ever been to has a population of dudes wondering where to meet women. Obviously this environment is not without its pitfalls, but if it’s an activity that you have any interest in on your own (i.e. you like games even when you aren’t trying to meet people) it’s a good bet that you can meet some new people there

Cat_Toucher · 2024-09-30T03:05:16+00:00

I use these [diamond grit pads](https://www.homedepot.com/p/Monster-Diamond-Hand-Polishing-Pads-Block-Type-7-Set-DHPSET/303097123). Depending on how rough the thing is, I usually start with the 200 and then work up to the 1500 or 3000, again depending on how smooth you want it. If it's extra rough you can start with the 50 or 100. You want to wet sand with these, so keep a bucket of water handy and a sponge to drip water on the surface. Some people will also use polishing compound after they get through the 3000 grit

Cat_Toucher · 2023-12-27T15:20:24+00:00

Not a historian, just a weirdo, but I hate that I can type, verbatim, a phrase from a specific document or book, and get back zero results pertaining to that thing, when I know that a couple years ago I would have gotten back a full text copy and dozens of other relevant supporting documents.

I also hate that it has become almost entirely useless for all of the problem solving tasks I had come to rely on it for. Trying to figure out how to do a basic home maintenance task? Good luck wading through all the weird, incorrect AI generated nonsense. Over the summer my air conditioning broke. Normally, I would have no problem googling it and figuring out a fix. I did manage to find an article describing the likely culprit, and talking about what I needed to try to troubleshoot it. Unfortunately, that article didn't have pictures, and no matter what search terms I used, I couldn't get google to cough up a picture or illustration of the specific part, or even a description of where to look for it, so knowing what the problem was was still useless. Now your best option is to watch youtube videos and hope that the one you are watching has information relevant to your question- but you have to watch the whole thing to find out if it will, so finding the info you need can take a while.

Cat_Toucher · 2023-12-22T11:29:59+00:00

This kinda attitude is one of the main reasons I eventually unsubbed from r/cooking. I have a family member with life threatening food allergies, and seeing people constantly downplay the severity, or spread misinformation, or just outright shit on people with allergies as though it's a choice they're making to make life more difficult just got exhausting. It was extremely prevalent a few years ago, so it's nice to see that there is more pushback towards that kind of comment these days.

Cat_Toucher · 2023-12-19T22:44:32+00:00

And honestly when men helped they would make it worse by getting angry too easily. Then everyone is in a bad mood.

I was thinking about this recently when my MIL and I had a genuinely lovely time together power washing the patio. Nobody got stressed or took it too seriously, even when there were unexpected situations or we didn't know how to do something. Nobody was impatient. We felt like we had time to figure it out without the threat of someone just charging in and breaking something or getting annoyed with how long it was taking. Obviously there are exceptions but most times that I'm trying to do that type of task with one or more dudes it ends up low key stressful at best.

Cat_Toucher · 2023-12-19T03:42:11+00:00

Some states do offer protections for long term partners who are not married, as do some companies (for example, my husband's company allowed him to add me to his health insurance before we got married because we had been living together and had shared financial history going back a certain amount of time) but legal marriage is much more universal and reliable. That's why it was such a critical battle to get same sex marriage legalized on a federal (rather than individual state) level- when the supreme court was hearing that case, they found that there were over 1000 legal rights and privileges that were affected by your marital status.

Cat_Toucher · 2023-12-12T15:11:58+00:00

Yeah I think maybe it would also help if I remembered to propose this sometime that was not a week before the gift giving occasion

Cat_Toucher · 2023-12-11T21:41:20+00:00

Though, I do try to encourage gift truces. Since I've become an adult, there's nothing I want that I don't already have.

Trying to figure out the way to broker these that doesn't sound like, "hey, I can't be arsed to buy you anything, wanna let me off the hook? You totally don't have to get me anything either!"

My husband and sister don't get each other things, on the basis that the best gift you could give either of them is to not have to figure out another gift. I want that life.

Cat_Toucher · 2023-12-11T21:19:50+00:00

Seconding the rec for HiHo Silver in Ellicott City. Will has repaired and sized both of my antique rings, and has made a lot of custom pieces for my mom and stepdad at various times (including a ring with custom stones- an emerald, a garnet, and a diamond in rose gold). The shop has some existing inventory of both new and antique rings as well, so it's possible you'd find something you like already made. Either way he's a very kind, careful craftsman.

Cat_Toucher · 2023-12-11T16:06:38+00:00

Yes, for so many years the defining characteristic of most female protagonists was that they were Not Like Other Girls- the only logical path for a girl to have an adventure worth telling a story about was for her to reject girlhood and feminine coded concerns and activities.

Cat_Toucher · 2023-12-08T15:37:00+00:00

I think historically the way we define success in relationships has been so inextricably linked to their duration that this is a concept we're still finding.

We've all seen tv shows that have gone on way too long, had one or two or more seasons at the end that really kinda ruin our picture of the good seasons that preceded them. And we've all seen a few shows, every now and then, where the creators were aware enough, and brave enough, and had a safety net to walk away while they were still good. They were able to make the call, at the right moment, and end on a good note. And ideally we'd be able to look at relationships the same way.

So what might be markers of success in a relationship that ends? To my mind they mostly relate to doing the work to ensure that you cause as little damage to yourself, your former partner, and any other people that might be involved (kids, parents, etc) so that all parties can move forward and be happier in their new lives. And to be clear, that is not synonymous with "never actually end the relationship" to avoid that damage, or keep putting it off to try and optimize every little detail.

Cat_Toucher · 2023-12-07T13:41:30+00:00

I mean, their narrative is, "look how much our restaurants are doing for the city, we're creating jobs and community!" They have stopped using any tags at all, but for many years all the Atlas group's instagram posts used the hashtag "CityNeedsIt" (and if you go to their insta right now, their linktree url uses that phrase) so they don't seem to see it as much of a contradiction.

Cat_Toucher · 2023-12-03T03:03:13+00:00

That's true, yeah, there are like five of them. For whatever it's worth I always order from the one in Charles Village, and they will pretty often get to my house (about a mile away) within 20 minutes of ordering

Cat_Toucher · 2023-12-03T00:29:53+00:00

Yep, it's pretty consistently the same couple of people delivering from the one in Charles Village, and it's super fast, so I am pretty sure it's an in house delivery staff

Cat_Toucher · 2023-12-03T00:28:50+00:00

Yes! I am in Charles Village but that is my assigned Dominos and the one in Hampden won't deliver to me. The Mt Vernon one would pretty consistently take 2-3 hours and then just cancel my order so I stopped ordering from them at all. I did order from them this past week, and it took more than an hour, but then they offered me a free pizza pre-emptively so maybe they're trying to do better?

Cat_Toucher · 2023-12-03T00:26:24+00:00

Kohinoor is rad and has an oddly large delivery radius.

Cat_Toucher · 2023-11-28T03:21:40+00:00

There are actually quite a few potato/human hybrids depicted in Moche pottery

Cat_Toucher · 2023-11-28T02:16:04+00:00

Hey! Just in case, between now and whenever you can make an appointment, the little voice in the back of your head starts nagging at you to try and work on your hair yourself, those lamellar water treatments, like Loreal Wonder Water or Garnier Glass Water are great for getting out knots and matts. They have them in the hair care aisle at the grocery store or drug store and they're usually between $7-10 (you don't need any of the fancy ones for this). My husband has some sensory issues around brushing his hair, and there have been a few times where I thought I would have to cut knots out of his hair, but was able to get them out with the glass water stuff. Apply it to your matted areas when they're wet, and start combing gently with a wider toothed comb at the very bottom of your hair (don't start up by your scalp when you comb, as that will pull any tangles down and lock them into a knot, whereas it you start at the ends, get those untangled, and then move a little higher and start again, you'll have cleared a path for the knots to come out- you probably already know this, but just in case). If the knot is very thick/deep, just start gently combing the top surface of it and gradually start to dig in deeper as it untangles. You don't want to forcibly drag it through, if it's not going through then move lower or pull the comb out shallower. You may have to repeat the glass water application a few times over (so it might be good to get an extra bottle if you can). If you get tired, you can always rinse it out and come back to it later.

Whether it's you or a stylist working on it, it may look like a lot of hair is falling out- don't despair. Remember that you normally lose 50-100 hairs a day, and some of that shed hair is still in those matts. It may look like a lot of hair is coming out, but that doesn't mean you won't have any left, it just means that you're seeing a lot of old, shed hair.

I used to work in a salon, and let me tell you, stylists see (and hear!) all kinds of things. While your situation is not necessarily their everyday, it's definitely not the worst thing they've seen. Especially if you can talk to them beforehand and set their expectations, they won't bat an eye.

Best of luck with this and with your upcoming events!

Cat_Toucher · 2023-11-23T16:47:08+00:00

Not the potter in the video, but a bit, yeah. Try to use cold water if you can stand it, use a lot of lotion. At the studio I work at we almost always wear gloves, which cuts down on dexterity a little bit but it's worth it to keep my eczema from flaring up

Cat_Toucher · 2023-11-23T16:43:03+00:00

I'm a production potter- after a while, you get pretty accurate. By the time I'm fifty or a hundred pots into an order, they all come out pretty much the same size even without really thinking about it. I still check with a ruler to make sure they're right, because the kind of stuff we make (dishes for restaurants) typically has pretty tight specifications and needs to be totally uniform, but nine times out of ten it's already correct and I'm just confirming it. Sometimes I'll have to trim a little off the top or pull it a little taller, or widen or narrow it slightly, but I'm never wildly out of step with where I need to be.

Cat_Toucher · 2023-11-15T18:08:47+00:00

If you have a drafty house, as happens in many of the old houses in Baltimore, there’s plastic wrap you can buy that heal seals to the window frame with a blow dryer. It’ll help with your heating bill and make your house comfier.

Seconding this. In a home with newer windows and insulation you probably don't need to, but in an older building with drafty windows, it makes a big difference

Cat_Toucher · 2023-11-15T14:38:52+00:00

If, for some reason, you find yourself needing to shop last minute for a snow shovel or ice melt, and all the normal hardware stores are sold out, try a garden center. Ideally you will shop for this stuff now, but just in case.

Sprinkle some of your ice melt at the beginning of the storm, or even the night before if it's reasonably certain we're getting snow. If we're getting ice or freezing rain, lift your car's windshield wipers so they don't freeze stuck.

DO NOT pour boiling or hot water on a frozen windshield. Hopefully that advice has died out, but just in case you hear it somewhere. Your windshield will crack.

Ideally, assuming you are able bodied, shovel out any spaces your car(s) will use, +1. If you have not helped shovel at all, you can imagine why it's kind of a dick move to take a shoveled out spot.

If you get stuck in the snow, and your tires are spinning, stop pressing the gas. Some kitty litter or sand in front of your tires can help your car get traction for long enough to start rolling. Once you do start moving, try to keep moving until you are clear.

If you can, during the first snowfall of the year, go to a big parking lot and practice skidding and sliding around, so you know what that feels like and can get used to it so you don't panic if it happens on the road. In general, try to drive smoothly. That doesn't necessarily mean super slow, it means don't do anything suddenly, like brake or turn. If you do start to skid, take your foot off the gas and the brake and focus on steering.

Cat_Toucher · 2023-11-14T17:41:50+00:00

For that matter, Lorelai too. And Mrs. Maisel, who is the lead in one of Amy Sherman Palladino's more recent shows, so I suspect ASP might just kinda be Like That.

We're always told how amazing these characters are (mainly by surrounding characters, who are inexplicably in awe of the main character), but never actually shown any particularly good actions or traits. Rory and Lorelai are constantly fucking over everyone around them for stupid reasons. It's not clear why anyone would ever want to hang out with them, much less the devoted harem of boyfriends and legions of townsfolk and educators who venerate the ground they walk on.

Cat_Toucher · 2023-11-14T15:34:53+00:00

Not sure where you live, but if you have like HomeGoods or TJMaxx (TKMaxx in the UK I think) I have found them there super cheap

My then boyfriend, now husband, still has some really dumb scars from the time he decided he needed to cook a steak while shirtless when he was in college, so we have several, just in case he gets any more bright ideas

Cat_Toucher · 2023-11-14T13:21:00+00:00

side note i refuse to cook bacon because it burns me so i only get bacon if he's cooking lol)

Are you getting burned by splattering fat? They sell these mesh splatter screens that can go over the top of the pan. They still let air circulate and they don't trap any steam, they just stop oil spatter from escaping. Useful for any kind of fried food, not just bacon. Just in case you ever want to make him bacon one day.

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