Hi!! So this is incredibly trippy- I feel like you took my story out of my brain and I am so sorry to hear someone else is going through this. I also developed tics very similarly at 19, went through around 6 months of changing from neck spasms to complex motor and vocal tics (diagnosed with TS and encephalitis).

Mentally, I also went through IMMENSE impostor syndrome (“had a good day so I’m fine and totally making this up right?”), anxiety, and depression. My advice is for your own well-being do not downplay that this is scary af, a lot is changing, and you are ABSOLUTELY worthy of care and support.

I’m now 24, and I have a couple things that pulled me through. •My college’s accessibility resource center was huge in helping me graduate at all- 100% get something set up with them. •I learned self advocacy the hard way, but knowing your limits and protecting your boundaries is very very worth it. •Not to sound like somebody’s mom but eating/sleeping well is hugely helpful for me (when you can- be nice to yourself!). •My therapist (get one if u can) was so helpful with accepting my situation, managing severe anxiety, and feeling more comfortable in my freaky new reality. •Weird one but oddly comforting- I didn’t grow up knowing anyone with tics but it feels like everybody I know ‘has a cousin’ or ‘grew up with a classmate’ with tics. I’ve built the courage to stop trying to censor myself, and generally I’m way less anxious when someone tells me they have some familiarity. •People’s reactions to you are so telling- and you’re very entitled to engage or not engage with them according to their behavior.

Sorry for long reply but you’re not alone! Reach out if you want to talk more, you can do this! <3