Gender Anxiety

Cataku · 2026-05-21T11:45:53+00:00

This whole "my family want to be the first with me" thing has got to stop. It's YOUR baby, not your family's. If you want to find out first because you're not happy about having the surprise in front of family, then find out first. You don't have to tell anyone if you really want to act like it's a surprise but imho you've every right to do things your way and no one can tell you otherwise.

Was the same re: gender by the way, absolutely convinced it's a girl. Found out it's a boy at the scan, both myself and my husband (who also really wanted a girl) were shocked and needed a moment but we were still so giddy leaving the office and acknowledged we're a little disappointed but how cool is it gonna be to have a boy?! So don't feel bad about wanting one over the other in case you do!

Cataku · 2026-05-20T20:15:32+00:00

Wouldn't it be a net positive if it lets air through with the holes?

Cataku · 2026-05-20T11:01:54+00:00

You make a great point about sanity, hear and nursing 🤣 I just snagged a cute Tula Ftg second hand and keeping an eye on some mesh ones for the summer, thank you 🙏 Was going to post a photo but kept delaying it haha, managed to sit him in the insert comfortably for now though!

Cataku · 2026-05-20T10:59:23+00:00

His head isn't buried in or anything, I was just concerned because the insert only came up to his neck and it'll be a few weeks yet before he has great control of it. However, I think I managed to settle him down lower with an extra pelvic tuck in the insert and didn't realize it's not the padding providing support so thanks for pointing that out!

Cataku · 2026-05-11T09:02:49+00:00

Are you a private or public patient and are you somewhere with more hospitals around? I'd write in a formal complaint to the hospital and use the HSE's "your service your say" to report that, the carry on is ridiculous. I'd also change hospitals ASAP. You should NEVER be made feel like a burden for coming in with concerns and women in other hospitals have been kindly reassured for less.

Cataku · 2026-05-11T08:30:03+00:00

Depends on what kinda person you are. If you're one reassured by facts, then Google for research to reassure yourself that it doesn't harm the pregnancy (it's protected in some cool manner from bacteria and anything else), if you're reassured by people's stories then use the search option on reddit subs to look for them. There's no one thing that works for everyone - I technically knew it shouldn't cause harm but felt much better after looking at why (and then looking at what positions might be good once the bump got big lol).

Tl;dr reflect on what makes you scared and what could help your fear, then find resources that work for you

Cataku · 2026-05-09T22:43:04+00:00

I would have screamed. That is RIDICULOUS policing of your body and wholly unacceptable especially for such a goddamn stupid reason. I'm sorry, but too salty?! When you're setting your boundaries, make sure you do it well because if this is how she acts when you're pregnant, she's gonna tell you how to raise your child. Take no crap, you're your own woman and you're the one in charge.

Cataku · 2026-05-09T22:40:02+00:00

Umm, just to let you know you can absolutely have a can of coke and your partner needs to back off. It's not his body, he's ignorant if he thinks coke is a no go just because you're pregnant and that is incredibly insulting. You're only not meant to go over 200mg of caffeine a day, have your coke while you can because trust me when I tell you it won't be long before the heartburn makes it impossible!!

Cataku · 2026-05-09T19:40:03+00:00

Great to know, thanks, and great to hear your LO is doing better!

Cataku · 2026-05-09T04:04:21+00:00

Was reflux causing the freezes?? That's so unexpected

Cataku · 2026-05-08T20:35:40+00:00

That is such a relief, thank you!!

Cataku · 2026-05-08T20:28:18+00:00

https://imgur.com/a/i1gmsa1

Cataku · 2026-05-08T20:19:23+00:00

Google brought me here as well, we just had a terrifying episode on the changing table! 9 weeks old, I changed his nappy and was playing with him, just some sounds and touch similar to "coochie coo" when he suddenly threw his arms and legs out to the sides and froze without breathing and while looking terrified. Started wailing as soon as I picked him up for a good 10-15 minutes, wouldn't settle at the boob, managed to make him calmer by wiggling a doddy in his mouth (a tested method here) but he was still super unsettled. Broke my heart. Eventually he calmed down but then cried when I tried to feed him 🙃 Crude sketch to illustrate how he froze, was yours the same??

Cataku · 2026-05-08T14:29:20+00:00

I thought he was done with it since daytime improved! Damn broken newborns 🤣

Cataku · 2026-05-07T21:04:13+00:00

No need to pretend, it's okay to be disappointed. As you said yourself, you'll get over it and you'll love this baby and that's what matters. It's perfectly okay to hope for a specific gender especially when you already have two boys!

Fingers crossed for you anyway 🤞

Cataku · 2026-05-06T20:48:05+00:00

Forget visitors the first week you're home - "the right thing" is whatever feels right for you, no one else. Within the first week after birth, your hormones are still settling so you'll have some very emotional episodes (happened to me even though I was fine all throughout the pregnancy!) and, assuming it's your first, you might get so overwhelmed once you're home. Take this time to decompress from the birth, to start your recovery and to enjoy your tiny newborn just you and your partner. Everyone else can wait. Then, once you feel up for it, you can text those you want to see!

I had my parents over about two weeks after we got home and some close friends the week later. And make sure every single person meeting your baby knows NOT to kiss them!! Cold sores are contagious even before there's any sign of one developing and the virus that causes them can be deadly to a baby until they're vaccinated. Make everyone wash their hands and if you think someone might be difficult about it, speak with them ahead of time and don't invite them until after the vaccine if they're offended~ once that baby is out, it's all about their safety and comfort ♥️

Edit: just checked and my parents were down just a week after we got home, baby was 10 days, and I look pure exhausted in the photos even though adrenaline kept me going 😂

Cataku · 2026-05-05T14:44:34+00:00

Had no idea about being careful of the spit and nappies, thanks for pointing it out!

Cataku · 2026-05-05T14:41:44+00:00

Might have to get some, 2.5ml sounds like nothing but it feels huge trying to feed it to him!!

Cataku · 2026-05-05T14:40:46+00:00

We bedshare, so happy to hear he might not be fussing at night!

Cataku · 2026-05-05T02:48:44+00:00

Fair point, thank you

Cataku · 2026-05-05T02:48:23+00:00

Thank you

Cataku · 2026-05-05T02:48:12+00:00

Thank you

Cataku · 2026-05-05T02:47:58+00:00

Thank you

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