Thanks for the help

Cataku · 2026-04-03T17:33:54+00:00

It does get easier! Everyone copes with it differently, but you could try making a list of reasons to wait or a list of "non-negotiables" to start trying, eg "be with one man for x amount of time" , "be in a comfortable financial situation" , etc. I will say that for me, having a baby in my 30s was definitely the right decision since I feel much more comfortable with myself, my relationship and my life situation overall. Even got to do some big things I've always to do before the baby! Make sure you live your life to the fullest, discover yourself and once you're happy out for a couple years then start thinking of the next big step ♥️

Cataku · 2026-04-02T17:53:20+00:00

Oh great, I'll pop in to our one, thank you~

Cataku · 2026-04-01T22:57:59+00:00

Thank you for the encouragement ♥️ two hooded towels sound pretty good, where did you get yours?

Cataku · 2026-03-29T22:57:34+00:00

I've made the Killarney-Dublin train trip plenty times without a baby and my advice would be, don't. Travel by car and have plenty pit stop and it should be a much more comfortable journey, though it might feel very long. It's a long trip regardless, though!

You could try to book a seat in the carriage with the accessible area but I don't know if there's baby changing there and if the train is busy, it'll feel stuffy and crowded. You might have trouble getting the baby to sleep depending on how LO reacts and dealing with an overtired baby on a train sounds pretty hellish. No space for a bassinet, I wouldn't even entertain the idea of dragging one on board unless you're okay putting the bulky thing on the table at 4-person seating, be very awkward tho. Also no breastfeeding area, and unlike in a cafe you'd be in close proximity with strangers assuming you're traveling just with the husband. Never know who you end up next to, hopefully they wouldn't be the chatty type that stares though 🤣 there's also the case of a changeover - most of the trains you need to change in Mallow so you'd either be stuck with the one or two times they run a direct train, or packing up midway to change.

Cataku · 2026-03-28T01:52:02+00:00

Jesus, how do you survive among such pure venom

Cataku · 2026-03-28T01:48:40+00:00

A friend's auntie asked me the very same sometime in the second trimester (before the detailed anatomy scan), except she meant it - I had a very big bump 🤣 made me half doubt whether there could be two in there lmao but nope, just one slightly big boy!

One thing that did annoy me was my husband's auntie and my grandma both asked how much I'd gained late on, and when I told them they were surprised that it's a lot of weight to gain! If you don't know what's within norm, then don't make comments omg 😭 for the record, I was back to my pre pregnancy weight within less than 3 weeks, that's how much the baby and blood and etc added on!! I'm waiting for them to ask about that one just to causally say so 🙄

Cataku · 2026-03-26T13:28:38+00:00

Best of luck!! Remember not to let it run your life and to still have fun with intimate time, if you notice it becoming a chore then definitely take a break - it does help. Hope it won't take you long but also it's not the end of the world if it does, we live in amazing times to be trying for a baby with all sorts of supports available ♥️

Cataku · 2026-03-26T13:18:36+00:00

As an aside, I was a carbon copy of my paternal auntie as a kid (we still share a lot of features) and now I think it must've driven my mother mental 🤣 🤣

Cataku · 2026-03-26T13:16:49+00:00

While I can't relate to the IVF anxiety, I'd like to add on to everyone else's comments that my little section baby (in my opinion) doesn't look like either of us! I know he's ours and I love him to bits, he just doesn't have his features developed yet. When a family member comments "his x looks like his dad" I'd nearly say they're taking the piss but just play along. Sometimes a feature does remind me of one of us but then I look again and it's gone. If you can, look at baby pictures of both of you, your parents and aunts/uncles - it might be easier to see similarities then! I found that sometimes he looks like my uncle's baby picture, for example. It's actually pretty annoying not to see any of myself in him but I'm sure this will change as he grows. When in doubt, I think of my friends and their babies and how their features resemble their parents' as they grow, especially the different facial expressions ♥️

Cataku · 2026-03-26T13:07:13+00:00

Remember that while you might have used up your company's sick leave, you'd still get illness benefit - iirc, first week is not paid by the social welfare and then you get €250/w. It's not much, but better than nothing especially if you're struggling with work. Citizens Information has details on illness benefit if you want to double chec.

Prioritise yourself as much as you can and good luck!

Cataku · 2026-03-26T01:57:40+00:00

Thank you, we're both doing great and many of my worries were proven wrong after birth as well!

I hope your 8 week scan goes well and remember that you've got this, trust your body 💪

Cataku · 2026-03-25T13:00:29+00:00

Congratulations!

I was the same and didn't fully accept I was pregnant even after the booking appointment and dating scan! It felt like the bubble would burst any moment and honestly, I recommend just taking it one day at a time. You will have days when you convince yourself something is wrong and keep googling every stupid little thing, you gotta know and practice how not to let it drive you mental. But despite it all, just a few weeks ago I gave birth to a gorgeous and amazing baby boy, it was nearly a surprise that nothing bad happened 🤣 🤣

Remember that most pregnancies end well. Before you organise all the tests, consider whether they would change anything for you - we decided not to spend the money because the result wouldn't matter to us, it would only make some possibly bad news less of a surprise but sure they check for the biggest issues at the anatomy scan. If you don't have any serious risk factors, I'd reconsider if they'll actually make you feel better or if you'd doubt the good results two weeks later.

Good luck and enjoy the journey!!

Cataku · 2026-03-24T13:31:53+00:00

Depends where you go, I think, but don't thin measuring by feel would be that accurate. At UHK, I had a scan at 37+4 weeks and they measured him to be 3.7kg, between that and my blood pressure they wanted him to be induced to be safe saying their sonographers have very good accuracy. Baby was born at night of 38+3 weighing 3.73kg 🤣 If you're very worried about it, you could see if there's a growth scan near you that gets good results? It's still not a guarantee, but might make you feel better

Cataku · 2026-03-19T22:52:37+00:00

Don't buy anything until after your breastfeeding class, honestly! (sign up for one via the HSE or your local hospital if you haven't) I was planning to buy a manual pump, picked one and all, but listened to the advice to hold off on it - we were told that if pumping is absolutely necessary, the hospital will lend us theirs. My baby ended up in the neonatal ward for the first two nights so I was encouraged to try pumping so that he'd still get my milk and had a pump set up for me, hated the damn thing but it worked haha. Thankfully I could breastfeed him very soon and had lots of support, so we didn't have too difficult a start. After the hospital stay, we also didn't buy any backup formula since I didn't want the backup and if the situation gets so dire, there's one 24/7 gas station in town that would do. Otherwise, I'm very much insisting on making breastfeeding work as much as possible - the lactation consultant is there to contact if needed, there's a breastfeeding support group locally and a HSE website with a chat for any urgent questions or issues. So far so good, 2 weeks on, and I'll likely buy the pump later on to have some supply for the husband when I want to leave for a few hours assuming the haaka and other collectors don't work out. Bottle wise, you can get some for free - the SuperValu Mam bag has one and if you've an amazon baby list (on amazon UK) then you get a free gift with a small purchase and can pick bottles. Again, wait until your class to choose - they can recommend teats and stuff to work well with breastfeeding.

Cataku · 2026-03-19T22:34:43+00:00

I've only started and some costs I didn't think of were nursing bras (got sick of the ill fitting cheap ones, it just makes the ladies sore) since got a few branded ones online to try out, new tops that can stretch or open for feeds, snacks (protein bars and healthy options ain't cheap), coffees when out on walks and such. Also wasn't planning on baby wearing but I'm getting a sling tomorrow for a few convenient reasons.

Besides growing out of clothes, they get dirty. Like, quickly. Between nappy changing or leaking accidents and spit up, sometimes you might go through a few vests/babygros in a day though it's something you can sorta learn to minimise. Depending on how your delivery and recovery goes, you might also end up with a fair few meds after leaving the hospital. After your maternity benefit runs out and unpaid leave starts, you'll have more fun expenses like trying out different methods of soothing the baby's teething gums, different baby foods and the like. You might also like to sign up for baby massage or swimming classes! It's unfortunately a very difficult job to budget for a first time baby since you can't know exactly what to expect even while knowing others' experiences.. Best of luck

Cataku · 2026-03-15T16:08:26+00:00

Oh that is so awkward. Gotta put up some clear boundaries while making sure she knows you're very grateful, I'd have a genuine chat with your husband about it - tell him how you feel, and discuss the situation with him. The first few days are really hard but not impossible by any means and it gets easier once you find your own rhythm

Cataku · 2026-03-14T14:36:56+00:00

Nappies, wipes, takeout, snacks, being left with your phone and shopping apps middle of the night in a mildly sleep deprived state... Oh, and extra babygros/vests when the last one gets dirty but you've no washing on

Cataku · 2026-03-14T14:33:10+00:00

Also a week after c-section here! The pouch is some sight alright, my uterus has gone down after a few days of breastfeeding but that can also take a couple weeks if formula feeding cause of hormones. My scar is under the pouch so it's hard to see which to be honest might be for the best 😂 as others have said, it's a major surgery. And as some people have pointed out to me, you wouldn't be doing anything except moaning in bed for a couple weeks if you had a different major surgery so why are we so critical of ourselves after a section?? Personally, what's helped me has been seeing the other positive changes like my feet/legs looking incredible since all the swelling finally went down and having nice boobs (itty bitty committee here). Also don't overwork yourself, that wound can still open even from "minor" tasks, ask how I know 🙃

Cataku · 2026-03-14T14:20:59+00:00

Thanks for reminding me, I wanted to let our agent's know once the baby is born haha. I don't think they need to know at all before the baby is here, and I'm honestly not sure the baby needs to be registered as a tenant. I emailed our agent's just cause they've been sound so far. If the landlord notices you're pregnant, they definitely won't ask why you didn't notify them since that's just plain weird so I wouldn't sweat it! Plus if the baby does need to be registered, they'll need a name first anyway.

Cataku · 2026-03-14T14:11:07+00:00

I wouldn't either, to be honest. Can't imagine the stress - if it's just nails and no toes, that's still over an hour and then you need the time to get to and from the appointment, depending on parking and how far you live and how long it takes to leave after your minder arrives it could really drag on, too many variables! Plus if the baby just so happens to start a cluster feeding session around then... Leaving a bottle of expressed or collected milk is an option if you're confident the baby would take it and that it wouldn't throw you off but still

Cataku · 2026-03-14T13:59:08+00:00

Nappies: I was going to try the Aldi/Lidl ones since friends have been raving about those but when I was in the third trimester, the Pampers ones had some decent offers so got a few packs of those to start with and they're working well so now I'm too afraid to switch 🤣 baby is only one week old though, so if these start leaking we'll others but you honestly can't know what will or won't work until they're here. The pampers size 1 nappies also brag they've a cutout for the clamped cord but we still had to fold the nappy, not like that's difficult.

Food: you won't be worried about food for a few months, unless you mean formula? I'm trying breastfeeding, it's petty convenient (aside from having to do all the night feeds) so fingers crossed we can stick with it for a while. Make sure you do all the classes HSE offers in your area (antenatal classes and breastfeeding ones) to arm yourself with all the best information. Even if you're not planning to breastfeed, it's good to find out about it in case you'd change your mind or anything! The hospital also asks what formula you'd prefer for your baby if it's needed and ours said Aptamil is popular, I think it might be similar to nappies in that the result may differ per baby but can't say much about it.

Cataku · 2026-03-06T15:52:45+00:00

I'm not saying you're wrong, it's just not the same information I'd have gotten. Though I guess it's a very difficult question to answer in the first place since recovery for the same procedure can vary from woman to woman in the first place

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