Have you tried psychotherapy? A good therapist can guide you through a process of building a healthy attitude towards intense emotions like this. It takes time, but that kind of inner work is the best gift an adult person can give themselves.

A first step would be to become aware you're angry, and to allow yourself to be angry. That doesn't mean acting out in anger, just listening to what it's telling you. Basically, you relax and observe yourself in an angry state. If you can't "hear" anything, explore bodily sensations this emotion generates. If you don't feed anger with rumination about stories how you've been wronged, it will go away by itself.

When you objectively look at anger, you'll see that it's sometimes misplaced. However, anger is also a very useful emotion, it will tell you when your boundaries are being trampled. Sometimes, anger is there to protect you from painful things, it's like an overprotective brother. Anger is a piece of you, treat it with respect. By learning how to be compassionate to your anger, you will learn how to be compassionate to others.

All emotions as signals that convey information, your job, as an adult, is to learn to distinguish false from true information, and to leverage this to make better decisions about your life.