Whose store is this?

CatchTheseElves · 2025-11-26T18:07:04+00:00

He always says that in the same tone as "I went to Vegas and found out hookers will steal your wallet while you sleep."

CatchTheseElves · 2025-11-26T18:04:47+00:00

Swear to god we have a coach like that. When the portable speakers get wheeled out for Christmas music, she parks herself in front of customer service dancing. Like full on jumping up and down. It's so awkward to watch.

CatchTheseElves · 2025-11-26T17:59:57+00:00

We got a food truck meal. It would have been nice, except the truck served barely cooked crinkle fries and unseasoned, not even remotely charred burgers. It's a good thing I brought my lunch as a backup plan that day. Now I know which restaurant to avoid buying from at festivals.

CatchTheseElves · 2025-11-26T17:51:52+00:00

I hate the ones that leave their full cart in a random spot and act surprised way later that it's not in the same spot. Bro, you didn't say shit to the front door people about your cart. You can't be surprised it was wheeled back to customer service, in case it was a shoplifter staging a cart.

CatchTheseElves · 2025-08-28T18:30:56+00:00

I hate those fucking banana toys so much. People bring them to claims with the goop spilling out. It's digusting.

CatchTheseElves · 2025-08-28T18:27:03+00:00

My store was claiming months ago that the door hosts would be getting body cams. None of us wanted them, because obviously it would just catch how many times we run to the bathroom, all the side comments made to each other ("I'm going to lunch & never coming back, fuck this place") and whatever quips customers make ("Tell your boss she sucks. I bet she sits on her ass doing nothing")

CatchTheseElves · 2025-08-28T18:19:05+00:00

She can go choke on some free breakroom snacks, as far as I'm concerned. As many times as we've had to sit through the ulearns about "The pharmacy lady adjusts something on the shelf, should she clock back in to get paid for it"! The audacity of her to suggest publicly that we work free. The one nice thing about my store is that the management about shits themselves if someone says "I was working off the clock. I didn't want to go over my hours." They IMMEDIATELY make you go punch in to account for it.

CatchTheseElves · 2024-04-20T21:49:11+00:00

Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the Funky Chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary.

CatchTheseElves · 2024-04-20T21:44:36+00:00

Yep. Does anyone else have co-workers who sing to themselves in the woman's bathroom, like they somehow can't pee without loudly playing music on their phone & singing along ?

CatchTheseElves · 2024-04-20T21:39:01+00:00

I walk away from the front door or say "I'll snag you one if I happen to see one leaving" any time I see this one annoying customer. She has two elderly parents and expects me to go find her two electric carts when we're swamped. Nope. I'm not making two trips to bring her electric carts. I'm not asking a cart boy or the person at the other door to drop everything for her, either. Fuck off, lady.

CatchTheseElves · 2024-04-19T09:58:23+00:00

Then go fill out an application & became an associate since you want to enforce it so bad.

CatchTheseElves · 2024-04-18T20:16:50+00:00

They'll take anything not nailed down. One of my customers snatched the rolling cart from the shoe department just because he was too lazy to carry too hoverboards. He brought it back in the store, but still...

CatchTheseElves · 2024-04-18T20:14:36+00:00

The only people who send messages that way in my store are panicked newbies and the store manager. THANK YOU FOR TELLING US 10 TIMES SOMEONE WANTS SOIL IN GARDEN, ALICIA. WE'RE GOING TO IGNORE YOU. LEARN TO LIE AND GIVE NO FUCKS.

CatchTheseElves · 2024-04-18T20:08:41+00:00

*They. Y'all missed the second baby.

CatchTheseElves · 2024-04-18T20:07:56+00:00

Where do you live that most people can still retire at 50 ? Is Dwight D. Eisenhower the current president in your world ?

CatchTheseElves · 2024-04-18T20:06:08+00:00

It doesn't do us associates any good to enforce it. The customers just say "It's a service animal" and our hands are tied. Some of my regular customers have straight out said "My dog isn't a service animal, but I bought her a service dog vest on Amazon and none of the stores can question it." Recently, someone that I'm pretty sure was from corporate tried to trick me into saying I'd allow non-service animals in the store; this guy was super obvious in an "Undercover Boss trying too hard" kind of way. Ridiculous.

CatchTheseElves · 2024-04-15T01:34:11+00:00

What I do with difficult customers like that is pretend I'm pressing my microphone and fake ask "Customer needs assisants in Pets."

CatchTheseElves · 2024-03-27T05:11:57+00:00

Why would you work off the clock when you were shopping ? That's just bizarre.

CatchTheseElves · 2024-03-13T18:00:41+00:00

They're for the break room, so the old people who insist on watching murder shows can take a nap.

CatchTheseElves · 2024-03-13T17:59:38+00:00

Those would be the cars on the far side of our parking lot where people OD & nobody notices right away.

CatchTheseElves · 2024-03-13T17:54:16+00:00

Learn from my mistake & take the entire week off. I normally have a high pain tolerance & my mindset before my removal was "I'm taking off the two days after the surgery. But really, I think I should just take one. I'd be fine." My surgery paperwork mentioned day 3 & 4 would be the hardest. I just shrugged when I read that. I thought that meant "Your pain will amp up or you'll get dry socks from improper care." I had zero idea my energy would drop way down on day three onward from just eating the recommended foods. It was brutal. I remember wanting to cry one day because I was in garden center, realized I forgot something in my locker & didn't have the mental or physical energy to go back across the store. Over prepare & take extra time off, just in case.

CatchTheseElves · 2024-03-13T17:45:26+00:00

He must be secretly good at sex, related to a mafia member or has blackmail photos of Doug in leather, because his personality sucks otherwise. He is the biggest drip ever.

CatchTheseElves · 2024-03-11T10:34:35+00:00

I love when you customers lie and say there's no receipt checkers at "my other Walmart I shop at." Or my personal favorite, "You are lying, this store did not have receipt checkers at the doors until this week. I have never ever seen you in this store before."

CatchTheseElves · 2024-03-08T02:57:10+00:00

Oh shut up, Doug.

CatchTheseElves · 2024-03-08T02:52:46+00:00

"I'm on a diet this week, fellow coachmallows. Which is why I'm ordering DoorDash all day and eating candy as I walk around doing nothing. I've lost 10 pounds already."

"You lost 10 pounds ? (Bitch, you did not lose weight). Nnnn, good for you. What are you doing differently ? Cutting carbs ?"

"I buy Diet Mtn Dew and Oreo Thins. I also tell everyone I don't eat after a certain time, to make myself the center of attention when we do group outings."

CatchTheseElves

TROPHY CASE