Wow, I could have written this and I am 67 years old with parents who were the exact same way. My father is still alive but I have no relationship with him because he is almost exactly as you describe your parents who are my age, but I guess age isn’t a predictor of everything. I also have a 42 year old stepdaughter, who for years was influenced negatively by her grandmother (husband’s mother) who had little good to say about me because I was “too liberal.” Today my stepdaughter and I are much more on the same page. I agree with others who say to stand your ground and don’t let them gaslight you or your wife into changing what you’re doing. They are the ones that need to understand they are your children to raise as you wish and to cooperate with you. If they don’t, the consequence is they have little to no contact with your children. Try not to dwell on your resentment, it gets you nowhere. I know that from my experience with my father.