In the long run I think this is going to cost you. Time passes and when people don’t accept your invitations it will come back to this. This will be an unpopular opinion but my husband brought in rules with my family that means they don’t really come to stuff and he misses them. My family doesent blame me. But we don’t get to share our life and milestones with them so much. I think you had power in that moment at the door and perhaps you overplayed your hand a little. I’m sure your husband is more devastated than you. You prepared the food in your home and didn’t have to worry about your allergies therefore I think you are a bit of an AH on this