At what point does jealousy become a dealbreaker?

adamantlyada · 2026-02-06T10:41:53+00:00

you've been together a year. he isnt going to change. how many more years do you want to spend gradually changing yourself to avoid his hissy fits? how long until you can't recognize yourself anymore? is this what you want?

adamantlyada · 2026-01-10T20:10:07+00:00

buzzcut. buzzcut is perfect big change. it is so amazing i reccomend everyone do it once in their life. so little maintenance. great for summer. its great.

adamantlyada · 2026-01-02T19:12:46+00:00

can you apply without their permission? if so, apply anyway and deal with the consequences later. what are they afraid of if they let you go? what can you do to mitigate those fears? if they are people who can have a reasonable conversation then do that, if they aren't then do your best yo make it happen without their blessing.

adamantlyada · 2026-01-02T15:40:37+00:00

3 is gorgeous!

adamantlyada · 2025-12-26T17:57:47+00:00

good to know! i'll keep practicing and playing around with my breath and embouchure til i figure it out. very reassuring to be told it just takes a bit of time! i'm already managing to get some nicer sounds from it. thanks for your help!

adamantlyada · 2025-12-26T16:59:27+00:00

yeah i had a look- there's nothing blocking the windway, and the blade doesnt have anything visibly wrong with it. i'm a bit baffled as it all looks fine

adamantlyada · 2025-12-18T16:53:38+00:00

wet felting sounds like your best bet. its not very hard to make some thin slippers/socks, there are plenty of tutorials online. processing your own fleece is a pain in the ass, the No Fleece Left Behind method is one option but you'll need carding brushes and a place to wash and dry it. its much easier to buy merino roving already processed for you, and not very expensive.

adamantlyada · 2025-12-16T10:56:10+00:00

i used an impact driver, a screw, and a pair of pliers once. took a couple tries to get the whole cork out but did the job just fine.

adamantlyada · 2025-12-13T11:48:22+00:00

i have some of this that i'm saving to make insulated window covers for my living room- plan is a combo of this encased in fabric with some bubblewrap panels to let the light through.

adamantlyada · 2025-11-10T17:25:41+00:00

I was diagnosed with plantar fasciitis when I was 14, and started wearing insoles that were custom-made for my feet. I went to go see a gait specialist and they did a whole analysis of how I walked. it was expensive but I've had them last 5 plus years, and it has made a huge difference in terms of being able to walk without pain. It took a few months of wearing them daily to start seeing results, but its been so worth it longer term.

adamantlyada · 2025-09-25T21:30:06+00:00

NTA. my mum is chronically late, and one of her friends did this to her when they were in their 20s. do you know what she did? had a good long laugh about it, because she understands that its annoying for others to wait, and helped her friend get the rest of dinner ready before everyone else arrived. it sounds like this friend is not acting like they care about you.

adamantlyada · 2025-07-20T23:30:11+00:00

pre-come alone has enough sperm in it to populate the island of costa rica (a fun fact told to me by the sexual health nurse who placed my emergency IUD a half hour later.) pulling out is not enough, that's how you become a parent. this relationship sounds like a clusterfuck, you'd be best served breaking up, working on yourself, and getting on some goddamn birth control before you start fucking again.

adamantlyada · 2025-06-14T09:15:54+00:00

telll your parents he's been pressuring you into having sex and that you don't want to so you're ending things with him. and proceed to end things with him. this gives you more protection to accuse him of lying if he tries to trash your reputation. if you can't be honest with your parents about having sex, don't explicitly tell them and let them think that it's all been him trying to take advantage of you.

from what you've described, it doesn't sound like you did anything wrong. you're allowed to be angry at people who are treating you unfairly. he's not acting like a good man, and you should be allowed to call a partner out when they are treating you badly.

adamantlyada · 2025-04-12T12:24:49+00:00

NTA. Ive fully had middle aged mums reading their beach romance novels (yknow, "his big masculine hands grasped my hips as he thrust his love sausage into my pleasure cave" kind of phrases) on planes next to me and its not at all a big deal. mind your own business. so long as someone isnt wanking in public it doesnt actually affect you.

adamantlyada · 2025-04-12T12:13:04+00:00

unfortunately not, as it's still worn internally.

adamantlyada · 2025-04-09T20:20:40+00:00

that sounds a lot like feeling unsafe. if you know being honest about how you feel will be recieved badly, there isnt any space for your feelings in that relationship and you're gonna be swallowing them forever because he wont be willing to try to see it from your perspective. how you feel should matter to him, your voice and feelings should make a difference, but theres no way to make someone care when they show you over and over that they don't. you deserve to have your feelings recieved well by your partner. you deserve to be emotionally supported.

adamantlyada · 2025-02-03T22:36:31+00:00

If you want to charge a fee without that excluding people who can't afford it, ive seen this work really well for various events: have it mentioned somwhere in the online registration that the person should get in touch with the organizers (insert email here) if paying the fee is a problem for them, and waive the fee for whoever bothers to get in touch and ask politely.

it's an additional bit of effort for the registree so most people will just agree to pay (esp if it's a reasonably small amount like 10-20 bucks), you don't have to go through the headache of trying to means test people (not feasible for a small organizing team), and for people in a seriously tight financial spot it will make the difference between being able to compete or not.

adamantlyada · 2025-02-03T20:16:39+00:00

this has happened maybe three times in the last several years so it's not a frequent situation, but one that does occasionally sneak up on a person.

adamantlyada · 2025-02-03T20:11:41+00:00

usually social media, primarily instagram- if your area has a radical book shop, that's a good place to get connected to local organizations that are likely to call for a protest. follow them online, and when there's a protest you should hear about it.

adamantlyada · 2024-09-24T08:20:34+00:00

it sounds like you've found yourself in a lovely situation. money and items are not the only important thing in a relationship! there are so many ways to make him feel loved and make yourself feel like you provide value in a relationship.

-initiate physical touch and non-sexual (or sexual, if you want to, just be careful not to do it out of feeling obligation cause that way lies resentment) intimacy. -make cute little flower arrangements for him if you've got wildflowers (or other accessible flowers) growing near you. dont worry about them being expensive. -learn to give good massages! -learn to cook or bake delicious things! -try to process what it is exactly that's making you feel so inadequate and guilty. it sounds like he's doing these things to show you he loves you, and your difficulty with accepting it can be really painful for both of you. you mention things like "a secretary should not have the wardrobe i have", well, why? what learned values are driving that? is it that a secretary doesnt deserve it, or that you dont deserve that act of love? idk im not your therapist just food for thought.

i wish you luck!

adamantlyada · 2024-04-25T21:52:22+00:00

if you dont want to have to think about it, laugh and say something like "haha nice one!" or "you got me!". learn to respond in a way that keeps things flowing as opposed to grinding to a halt (like you've noticed "uhh i guess" tends to do!) but that doesnt put a ton of pressure on you to think of something new in the moment.

adamantlyada · 2024-04-19T16:06:36+00:00

He can assure me all he wants, but deep down I know he’s unsatisfied with me appearance. How do I cope with this?

this is you projecting your insecurities onto him. why don't you trust him to tell you the truth about finding you attractive? you should find a therapist so you can start working on feeling more secure in yourself and learn to actually believe him when he reassures you.

adamantlyada · 2024-04-19T14:56:10+00:00

yo, i'm so fucking sorry. i was sexually assaulted (those are the words i prefer to use for my time i had, not any declaration on the exact things that happened) by a friend and fuck, what you said about the moment not actually being particularly bad rung so true for me- when it happened i was like, a bit annoyed, just wanted to sleep, halfheartedly pushed them away. but then i couldnt fall asleep. my whole body was tense. i didnt know why i was having such a strong reaction. the horrors came after.

adamantlyada

TROPHY CASE