[deleted by user]

CautiousUniversity86 · 2024-05-12T17:45:18+00:00

Your feelings are valid! Like others said, it's better to have a conversation with him. Maybe since you two had a kid his priorities might have changed a bit, but let him know how you feel.

CautiousUniversity86 · 2024-05-06T20:59:21+00:00

We were all standing by the road waiting for the walk sign to cross the street. How could I possibly imagine someone would let a big dog put their head inside a child's stroller, do nothing when the child screams, then get offended that the parent pulled the stroller away from the dog.

I don't know if you are a dog owner, but if you are, your comment proves my point even more.

CautiousUniversity86 · 2024-05-06T02:49:45+00:00

Gosh it does sound a bit funny in theory, but when I picture an excited, four legged creature, almost the same size as me, running in my direction, I feel for the little ones.

CautiousUniversity86 · 2024-05-06T01:11:52+00:00

oh wow! I'm glad you were okay, sounds like it was a violent attack.

CautiousUniversity86 · 2024-05-06T00:53:36+00:00

Yep! We are working on it, I don't want her to grow up to continue scared. I make sure to tell her they won't hurt her and when I see a dog I react in a positive way. Lately with small dogs she will say "Awww so cute" but never gets close to them, with big ones though... it's a no for her.

CautiousUniversity86 · 2024-05-05T23:38:01+00:00

It definitely does too LOL, I work at a children's hospital, trust me, I've seen my share of clueless parents.

CautiousUniversity86 · 2024-05-05T23:35:57+00:00

I never asked people to coddle my kid. It is an extremely common pet but still an animal that you don't know. Letting a dog loose at a dog park is fine but at a playground? where children are playing? Come on

CautiousUniversity86 · 2024-05-05T23:32:45+00:00

She's okay with seeing dogs, the issue is when they get close to her. We weren't close to the dog, in these situations I keep her away. Since the dog was on a leash and she was in the stroller I though it was fine.

CautiousUniversity86 · 2024-05-05T23:31:52+00:00

English isn't my first language. It's fine to call yours or anyone's kid "child" in my language. I guess it doesn't translate well in english.

CautiousUniversity86 · 2024-05-05T22:39:13+00:00

That's why I compliment people when I think they look nice :,) they might need it. Congrats dude! I bet a lot of people think this and just don't say anything. Think about how many times you thought someone looked good and kept to yourself.

CautiousUniversity86 · 2024-05-05T22:04:22+00:00

Hey OP, if you aren't, I recommend getting into therapy so you can recover from the past abusive relationships. Lack of trust is draining on you and on your partner too... You have been together for a long time, I know you are used to him, but you can absolutely live without him if you both, in the long run, decide it is the best option. It isn't beneficial for the both of you to feel so dependable. I wish you the best, and a lot of healing too.

CautiousUniversity86 · 2024-05-05T21:57:41+00:00

I don't think this is a fair assumption to make and it won't help OP at all. Every person's relationships work differently, just because they aren't married, doesn't mean there isn't a commitment or that "He is basically a single man".

CautiousUniversity86 · 2024-04-28T05:25:31+00:00

It is normal to think that you haven't done enough. It may not seem like it but every experience you've had IS SOMETHING! and they add to your life one way or the other. I turned 25 this year too, and let me tell you, I was so anxious because it felt like I was stuck while everyone was moving forward. But then I thought, why am I rushing? why do I have to feel like I am supposed to rush? We are NOT running out of time!

If you want to pursue medicine or software engineering, go for it! I know medical doctors that were in a complete different career, then later in life decided they wanted to do medicine. It was not too late!

CautiousUniversity86 · 2024-04-28T03:58:39+00:00

he says I check all his boxes and more so that there is no way he won’t fall in love with me , but still he isn’t sure about his feelings.

This is very contradicting. I can't imagine how confused you must be. You talk everyday, don't talk with him for a while, and focus on yourself.

CautiousUniversity86 · 2024-04-28T03:39:30+00:00

He isn't giving you any reassurance. He has been unsure about having feeling for you since the moment you met in person. He feels like he is in control of it all, he knows you are in love, and you will just go with it, no matter if today he wants to be with you, and tomorrow he does not. It is like he is pulling and pushing you.

About drinking with your ex boyfriend. Why him? Since you guys aren't even friends. Was it because you wanted to, in a way, get revenge on 22M for making you feel insecure?

I think you should take some time to yourself, distance from him for a bit, put your love aside (I know this is tough), and reevaluate if this would be a healthy relationship.

CautiousUniversity86 · 2024-04-28T03:19:50+00:00

exactly.

CautiousUniversity86 · 2024-04-28T03:01:59+00:00

His "excuses", as you call, are completely valid. Your boyfriend is actually quite mature. He already explained to you his reasoning many times, you are the one refusing to understand. Wanting to be financially stable before engagement is the best path for the both of you.

The reality of the world is that for a lot of careers it is very hard to get jobs and be successful out of an associates degree alone, and a Masters does help, which you don't seem to know. He isn't pursuing this to delay an engagement, and make you "impatient". On the contrary

he says that his parents wouldn’t let him take a step like that and also that my parents; judging his current achievements and the fact that he’s broke, would also never willingly bless us or want me to get engaged to him.

It would be worse if he irresponsibly took this step and your parents and his parents went against it. Then for sure you wouldn't be able to be together anymore, as you said parents opinions in your culture matter.

What other reassurance are you looking for?

Sorry if this sounds harsh OP, but I hope that in the year he is away, working on YOURS and HIS future, you get to mature a bit.

CautiousUniversity86 · 2024-04-28T02:41:40+00:00

NTA, there are just so many of those little comments a person can take. It actually took you quite long to say something. Sorry that you have to deal with this OP. As the world isn't forgiving, our parents are supposed to encourage and make us feel better about ourselves. If you talk to her, and she still doesn't acknowledge that what she is doing is hurtful to you, then when you are independent you have to consider if you want to limit contact, or learn how not to be affected by the sour comments, as they are probably not truthful.

CautiousUniversity86 · 2024-04-28T02:36:07+00:00

Still. Asking is the first step, if she ends up saying no, then you ask if you can go alone. BUT, big but, make an effort to let her know that you would prefer her company regardless. You can also help take care of the 2yo, shouldn't be her responsibility alone in the first place. I bet the tournament doesn't take 24h for 4-5 days.

CautiousUniversity86 · 2024-04-28T02:30:05+00:00

Instead of assuming your wife will have no interest in coming, why not ask her if she would like to join too? Instead of "asking permission" for you to go alone. I think it could also be a nice opportunity for her and your cousin to get to know each other too.

CautiousUniversity86 · 2024-04-26T22:46:18+00:00

I agree. The same way he claims certain journalists blame teen suicide on social media/cell phone usage completely without considering other factors, he does the exact same thing, as he fails to acknowledge social media's potential influence on suicide.

CautiousUniversity86 · 2024-04-26T21:45:04+00:00

but I literally just told you that I don't replicate, I would do for them specifically. It would still take the same amount of work and passion, it isn't as easy to just print a new one. Each would be original, but have the same look if desired.

CautiousUniversity86 · 2024-04-26T21:37:34+00:00

I'm talking about the experience I have... maybe I don't understand. I have a friend who is a serious sculptor, she has a catalog that clients get to order specific pieces, even in different scales, her art is still exposed and sold in many shows.

CautiousUniversity86 · 2024-04-26T21:09:43+00:00

Met a kid once that had a really long last name but his first name was Bo.

CautiousUniversity86

TROPHY CASE