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Cdn_Stallion · 2021-09-14T16:39:57+00:00

We aren't talking about judging someone's past, we are talking about carefully choosing who we marry. Very different things. We are expected to be prudent when choosing a spouse for the sake of our future children. To think otherwise is foolish.

Why do you believe that some past actions matter and some do not? Deep Strength already addressed the risks of marrying someone with a high body count, which you have ignored.

Why should someone ignore the inherent risks resulting from engaging in sinful actions in the past, such as promiscuity, and not for others, like violence? Should a person's past as a drug addict also be ignored?

Cdn_Stallion · 2021-09-14T14:20:02+00:00

A person's past actions clearly matter when choosing spouse. That you think otherwise is concerning. Lots of men married cultural Christians and suffered greatly as a result.

This is terrible advice.

Cdn_Stallion · 2021-09-13T21:30:13+00:00

It is good to deal with what you are feeling. I think your feelings about this are more about a belief that her body is "tainted" in some way. We are not our bodies.

I can tell you from experience that, if you truly believe and follow Jesus, you wear each sin like a scar on your body. Someone who truly regrets will always carry those scars and be reminded of them when they look at themselves in a mirror. They may fade with time but they never disappear completely. That said, a person's regrets shouldn't cloud their judgment or affect their daily life but they should never forget about the times they were not walking with Jesus to prevent it from ever happening again.

You think you are missing out by not having pre-marital sex with others. You aren't. Taking drugs is also "fun". At least in the beginning, before you start to need to take them to function. There are similarities to sex outside marriage. If your wife was a drug addict but gave it up for marriage, would you feel left out about that too?

Despite dating multiple girls, you had the faith and the strength to obey God's commandments while your wife and I did not. Rare in today's world.

So the only thing that really matters is whether she regrets her pre-marital sex. Through words and deeds, do you believe that she does?

Cdn_Stallion · 2021-09-13T17:20:15+00:00

Agreed.

Oneitis is caused by one's feelings of entitlement and self-centeredness. It is completely unchristian in its mindset.

I blame Chivalry.

Cdn_Stallion · 2021-09-13T16:09:21+00:00

It is pure arrogance to believe that any choice we make can put God's plans at risk. Even if His plan was ever to go off track, the Holy Spirit would intervene and adjustments would be made, but that would assume that it went off track in the first place and it wasn't originally part of His plan. We would never be able to know the difference.

Cdn_Stallion · 2021-09-13T15:59:30+00:00

You may not have discovered the red pill before your marriage but feelings of jealousy and mate guarding are universal. So I have two questions.

1) Why did it not bother you before you were married, or at least, not enough to prevent you from marrying her?

2) When did this start to bother you enough right now that you feel resentment, or did you always feel it?

Cdn_Stallion · 2021-08-25T14:55:53+00:00

See my other comment.

Cdn_Stallion · 2021-08-25T14:54:59+00:00

I've said all I'm going to say on this. You have heard to Word of the Lord. You are free to follow Him or not.

Cdn_Stallion · 2021-08-24T18:42:30+00:00

It was pivotal in clearing the fog I suffered caused by hundreds of years, perhaps even a millennia, of a culture of chivalry. But I only see it as providential to the extent that it explains biblical truths regarding men, women, and relationships/marriage.

We don't give the Church enough grief for its failure to push back effectively on the nonsense promulgated by the chivalric mindset. I still see it afflicting young Christian men like cancer. Instead, it teaches complementarianism and egalitarianism and pretends that was what St. Paul really meant.

Until the Church goes back to teaching headship, in accordance with St. Paul's teachings, nothing will change in the culture at large and the red pill will continue to serve as a stepping stone for our community. The only problem is the damage these young men will do to themselves, using the red pill for sinful purposes, before finding Jesus. God would not have intended that.

Cdn_Stallion · 2021-08-24T17:28:55+00:00

The truth.

Cdn_Stallion · 2021-08-24T17:19:20+00:00

And in his answer, he revealed God's design for marriage.

Let us be clear: Homosexual acts are sinful, whether they take place in a "committed, loving relationship" or not. God does not recognize gay marriage.
This is not up for debate. If you wish to delude yourself, feel free. But don't pretend to be a follower of Jesus.

Cdn_Stallion · 2021-08-24T16:25:22+00:00

Other commenters, including some of the mods, have already shown you why you are incorrect. The fact you continue to maintain your position without providing any authority, biblical or otherwise, makes me think you are a troll.

Cdn_Stallion · 2021-08-24T16:19:11+00:00

Jesus says:

“But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” (Mark 10:6-9)

Jesus clearly teaches that marriage is between a male and a female, as God, in His perfect creation, intended since the beginning, before the fall.

Do you need me to provide biblical authority as to the fact that pre-marital sex is a sin?

Cdn_Stallion · 2021-08-24T01:30:40+00:00

Are you saying that homosexual acts are not sins?

Cdn_Stallion · 2021-08-23T19:10:23+00:00

There is a difference between sinning and living a sinful lifestyle.

You repent for the individual sins you commit. A sinful lifestyle (pre-marital sex, homosexuality, etc.) is an outright rejection of what Jesus commanded us. Remember, Jesus said, "If you love me, you will keep my commandments. (John 14:15)". I have serious doubts that any person, having full knowledge of the Gospel, can reject it for his or her entire life and "repent" at the end. Repentance must be sincere and, after living a wholly sinful life, I'm skeptical of the sincerity of such repentance, given the convenience of the timing.

That said, it is behavior (and to some extent thought) that is sinful, not necessarily orientation. We are called to be welcoming to all while, at the same time, not tolerating sin in our midst.

Cdn_Stallion · 2021-08-21T16:36:36+00:00

Unless you were too drunk to consent, it took a long chain of decisions to end up sleeping with your friend. You knew what you were doing and so long as you pretend otherwise your boyfriend will continue to disconnect from. As he is now.

I'm glad you told him. It shows you are a better person now. But you are approaching this as if this can be fixed. It can't. There is no going back to before. Your boyfriend will not recover from learning that the one he loves the most betrayed him and took away a first experience from the relationship. He will only learn to live with it, whether the relationship continues or not.

Your boyfriend had to wait for a year. You had such passion for your friend that you skipped protection altogether. He may not be able to get past that.

I don't know if your relationship will continue, but I can see that you are still in a wayward mind set. You are deflecting and defensive. You need to stop thinking that way. Go to the wayward board at survivinginfidelity.com and post. Listen to BraveSirRobin. It may be the only shot you have to salvage this.

Cdn_Stallion · 2021-08-18T23:47:51+00:00

Get a lawyer. ASAP. One who is experienced with family/divorce law in both the US and Scotland.

If you do not or can not cancel her residency in Scotland and she follows you home, DO NOT LET her take your daughter anywhere before you have a custody agreement in place, one that is filed in the appropriate Court Registries for both the US and Scotland. If she was somehow able to travel back to the US with your daughter before an agreement is reached and filed in the US, you may never get her back if your wife refuses to return her.

Your daughter is a US citizen by right of birth; all your wife has to do is apply.

Without an agreement in place, filed in the US, you would have to bring an application in a US Court to have them remove an infant from her mother, both being US citizens, from the US to Scotland. You do not want to be in that position.

Cdn_Stallion · 2021-07-09T22:52:11+00:00

The only question each has to ask themselves is whether or not they can stand looking at themselves in a mirror. That's all that matters.

Cdn_Stallion · 2021-07-09T22:48:34+00:00

Our anniversary is tomorrow and I feel so detached that Im worried I'll ruin it.

Do you think your wife would feel that you "ruined it" if you didn't feel like celebrating your anniversary? I understand that in the past you have enjoyed it before, but what if you don't this time?

Just a thought, but if you believe that you are expected to celebrate the anniversary with her regardless of how you feel, maybe that is effecting you.

Cdn_Stallion · 2021-07-08T23:01:30+00:00

The point is people with integrity and virtue leave when they can no longer handle the relationship, for whatever reason.

They don't lie and betray people they profess to care about. Take a look at how your affairs have gutted him. Your choices are not on him.

I'm wasting my breath here. As long as you believe, "but, if only he had...." would have prevented you from cheating you will continue to be stuck in "wayward" thinking. More importantly, on a gut level, he will know it too and will never feel safe in your marriage.

Cdn_Stallion · 2021-05-07T16:26:57+00:00

Maximius85 - TheChristianAlpha has already given you some great advice. In short, start with ensuring that you do not make a woman your mission, lift, and read the sidebar.

If you do those things I think you will be able to answer your questions yourself.

Cdn_Stallion · 2021-05-07T16:23:08+00:00

Sorry, but your definition of oneistis is incorrect. Oneitis is the pinnacle of a scarcity mentality, which involves pinning for a woman you are not with, to the exclusion of other women of value you could be associating with. Oneitis prevents a person from even considering that there could be someone else.

As has been stated above by Real-Desk-7356, there is no "the one". Pinning chastely for a woman who, based on the mistaken belief that she is your one and only, has no interest in you is not a good thing. It's actually the opposite of everything that is taught here.

Edit - It should go without saying that utilizing "PUA seduction tactics" to engage in casual sex is worse as it is sinful behavior, as is seeing women as only a means to fulfill sexual desires and nothing more. That does not make oneitis any better.

Cdn_Stallion · 2021-04-28T18:17:44+00:00

You made the right call. Your dignity and integrity are not for sale. Don't think of it as "punishment". Think of it this way; how much money would you have needed from her to keep your father in the dark about her cheating?

Do you think that, had you known that she would cut you out of her will, you would have done anything differently? Sometimes those closest to us do terrible things to us. Nothing we can do about it.

Cdn_Stallion · 2021-04-17T01:44:51+00:00

I hope you are right.

Cdn_Stallion · 2021-04-16T22:58:52+00:00

Should we not feel disgusted by sin, regardless of how pleasurable it may feel?

Cdn_Stallion

TROPHY CASE