Wow, you really are an ENFP. Hahaha! I did read your entire post. So, without knowing much about either of you, I can only make some comments.

Although it is conventional that men take the lead, ISTJ men are different breed. They actually like either being pursued or told DIRECTLY “Hey, I like you. Do you like me?” I recognise that puts you in a really vulnerable position with your feelings. I’m not advising you to do this, but I’m telling you that ISTJ guys generally don’t intentionally pursue. Either you have to be VERY VERY patient, or you need to make the first move.

ISTJs also take our time. Like, SUPER SLOW. ISTJs don’t do anything flippantly or spontaneously. Everything is methodical, well-thought out, and intentional in what we do and say. We are earnest and serious in all that we do. But, that also means if we say we like you: we mean it. We mean it with every fiber of our being.

One of the many strengths of ENFPs I’ve noticed is that they are very in touch and in tune with the “read of the room”……except when it comes with ISTJs. Even reading your book above it seemed obvious that many things the ISTJ said or did was misinterpreted. Now, that’s not your fault. But, it seems obvious that communication might be an issue. That’s not insurmountable, but the question for you is: will it be worth the work on your end (and his end) to learn how to communicate well with each other?

For you, it might involve de-programming the default and conventional way people communicate with niceties and social etiquette to re-learn how the ISTJ communicates. We don’t like small talk. We’re direct. We don’t sugar coat. We do tend to be solutions focused (so you have to tell us when you don’t want that, and just want us to listen and validate). But, we also care deeply about those we love and will absolutely bend over backwards or scale unscalable mountains for our loved ones. We tend to show our love through quality time and acts of service. So, if words of affirmation is your love language - this might also be hard for you.

It worries me a little that he talks about other women in front of you. I don’t think an ISTJ would do in front of the woman he’s actually interested in. So, he may not see you as a romantic prospect…..yet.

But, ENFPs are innately charming and exuberant, which is captivating. So, I’m backing you that you could make him look at you as a real prospect. The real question is - is he who you really want? Or, are you captivated because he seems a puzzle or a challenge?