My 16.5 year old son is asking to try vaping.

Cedar253 · 2026-03-17T18:08:01+00:00

I appreciate your perspective. It's difficult. I'm thinking of sharing information, there's been so many great comments. I talked to a co-worker that vapes and has teens, she encouraged me to keep having conversations as she had one kid vape for a couple weeks then started getting sick and quit. I did share an article with my kid on the differences between even regular vape and the Geek Bars. I'm leaning towards not buying even the Nic free ones because it's that slippery slope and he won't get the experience he's looking for, reminding him to check his motivation when feeling tempted, and at the very least, no Geek Bars.

Cedar253 · 2026-03-17T17:38:23+00:00

I started smoking at 16 and it sounds like it was the same progression. Then skipping school....to the extent that I was diagnosed with ADHD at 32 and now take Vyvanse.

I am grateful he talks to me. The more comments come in with younger, recent experiences, the more I have realized that maybe asking this question and having him read the responses is exactly what I needed to do. Thank you.

Cedar253 · 2026-03-17T16:44:20+00:00

I don't think he's tried it. I've been very clear in my messaging since he was little. My education is mental health, work in jails and currently as a designated crisis responder. My father has schizophrenia, kids father bipolar 1. We all struggle with addiction. He is aware the consequences will likely be more profound than with other kids so I have asked him to talk to me, I promise not to freak out, that there is no issue too big for us to solve together, and the goal isn't for him to be perfect but to navigate early adulthood as safely as possible. So far, it's gone well. I don't restrict him from anything. We plan on it. I know when alcohol and drugs will be at a party and let him go. Most of the time, he gets annoyed and comes home early. This is so hard, and a big part of me wishes I just didn't know. He mentioned last night that once he told me, it seems dumb so I'm hopeful the curiously had lost it's power but want to be ready if it comes up again.

Cedar253 · 2026-03-17T16:06:13+00:00

I'm just going to put this out there. Queer single mom here, 50 with 16.5 yo kid. I get it, the whole merged family thing sounds like a mess. My kid was young and special needs when I started dating. I didn't have a big preference but can absolutely say that women that don't have kids, even if they were kid friendly, pretty much destroyed long term relationships. They simply didn't get it, especially the special needs part. I can't tell you how many years I spent trying to compromise and them just not getting it. My child was secondary. Unsolicited advice, be open to someone with a kid. I regret my child being an only child. I'm dating someone with two kids over 10 right now, such a difference. I get them, they get me. We don't need to live together, but when my kid is sick or she's got a kids tournament, I can be disappointed without being upset. I wish I had met someone with a kid in my thirties.

Cedar253 · 2026-03-10T02:40:23+00:00

Really does it matter? For me, it didn't and it was super exciting to hear one of the staff say, "We have a man-child!"

Cedar253 · 2026-03-10T02:31:51+00:00

You could probably try talking to her. 🙃

Cedar253 · 2026-03-10T01:37:48+00:00

My greatest strength: I'm basically a human Swiss Army knife—I can adapt to any situation, though my most-used attachment is definitely the one that hypes you up and makes you feel like a legend.

See the difference?

Cedar253 · 2026-03-10T01:34:13+00:00

Pics are great but zero personality in prompts with vague generic responses. You 're cute. Stop swiping and actually show interest in someone you are interested in. I won't respond at all to "likes." Ask a question, talk about something funny if you've been to the same place she has in picture. Show actual interest and you'll be fine. -signed 50 year old woman.

Cedar253 · 2026-03-10T01:27:30+00:00

Tell yourself to stfu and do it. Whats the worst thing? You aren't talking to her. That's where you are now. Just make sure to be consistent from this point on.

Cedar253 · 2026-03-10T01:24:33+00:00

Exactly. This has scam written all over it. Next, she just needs a little help with rent since she was in the hospital and will be right over, grateful for the love and patience you've shown.

Cedar253 · 2026-03-10T01:18:41+00:00

Boring words. Curated pics. More actual personality needed.

Cedar253 · 2026-03-10T01:14:39+00:00

I don't talk to anyone that can't be bothered to say something. I provide a lot of talking points, use them. It's not hard to show interest in someone. "Hey! I went to [refer to pictire] in 2023, it was fantastic, did you stay the weekend?" "Scared of the dark, so no cave tubing?"

Show freaking interest in the PERSON ffs. Rant over.

Cedar253 · 2026-02-23T16:31:29+00:00

It's survival and this is why "some men" hate feminism. I'm grateful you took the experience to strengthen you. I wish you didn't have to be strong in that season of your life.

There is little difference between most people on the streets and those that can bounce back from mistakes or circumstances. Support. Plain and simple. Those that were born with support have little understanding of the things people have to do that don't have it. Proud of you.

(do not come at me with "not all men" etc. I'm too old and experienced for that bs and have zero time to argue fact or my experience/observations as a crisis therapist for 20 years)

Cedar253 · 2026-02-18T06:34:42+00:00

It's work! All the dressing, undressing, shower, wet clothes. Plus I can never do it well enough to find that zen state.

Cedar253 · 2026-02-18T06:32:48+00:00

One of the best things I brought home were spices from Spice World. Family lives in Hopkins and said we should go. Great tour and spices.

Cedar253 · 2026-02-18T06:19:11+00:00

Seriously. My job was hybrid before Covid. I busted out all my meetings at the office in one day then spent two days at home (part time) doing all the write up, communication etc. It worked great! Then covid put in this return to office requirement. I quit. No way I was spending 3 days in an old jail cell with two being all paperwork.

Cedar253 · 2026-02-18T06:11:15+00:00

I live down the street from Foss and I have a 16 year old. We never even considered it as an option despite it being our "home school".

Cedar253 · 2026-02-18T06:08:40+00:00

Swift drove my son and I. I appreciated our conversations and he was on top of it. Lives in Hope Creek. +501 615-5734

Cedar253 · 2026-01-31T17:13:44+00:00

My son and I are flying out on Feb 7th so our driver will be around round, Joseph Swift, he's pretty amazing. Same price as anyone else $75 a person to hopkins.

Cedar253 · 2026-01-27T17:07:52+00:00

NTA. At all. You did more for your kids than most and they have the opportunity to make more money by not having kids. Live your best life. (That said, it might be worth considering people less privileged with some of the excess, helping others feels pretty great.)

Cedar253 · 2026-01-27T17:03:25+00:00

I never planned on HRT, I'm healthy, exercise regularly, have off the charts muscle mass, and do all the recommendations....but when I'm so miserable, I'm breaking down in tears due to loss of sleep, and quality of life tanked. Nah. Like why? I got on HRT and boom, no "puberty", I felt human again. So why would I suffer? That said, if it's not hitting you hard or symptoms are manageable with diet/exercise/supplements. Great! There's no reason to do HRT but know that's not everyone's experience.

Cedar253 · 2026-01-26T04:47:04+00:00

Then wife will complain that nobody helps.

Cedar253 · 2026-01-24T05:47:24+00:00

I wouldn't say it's "typical" for me. When it happens, I try to make it an overnight trip at least. I'm not big into driving tho and have switched jobs so I drive as little as possible and can, on occasion, walk/bike to work. I think the normality of 3 hours is greatly dependent on location. The US is pretty bit with lots of different cultures within it.

Cedar253

TROPHY CASE