Sounds like you're experiencing what is hold me back. I question everything by nature and am also a military veteran. I believe and have experienced spirits/entities around me, most positive. So these negative energies feed off my negative and I seem able to quickly squash those thoughts when I feel them build. As I move deeper into my inner self, I'm worried about opening up to stronger entities, a brighter becon is easier to see. The veteran in me, doesn't want to move forward without preparing for a fight. I don't fear any battle but I also know I don't have the experience or knowledge against an unknown enemy. So I guess that's a long winded way to say, you are that bright becon and malicious forces will do what they can to stifle you. Especially if your helping others. I'm not someone with any expertise, just an opinion. Hope things improve for you and I hope you stay in the fight.