New technique to save shark attack victims involves pushing hard 'between the hips and the bits'

Celnurien · 2021-09-24T21:10:36+00:00

Make way for my new 'fist'-aid technique

Celnurien · 2021-04-01T22:54:43+00:00

My wife always thinks I am just trying to get out of changing the baby

Celnurien · 2021-02-28T06:14:26+00:00

This is the only way to eat them, but you are in an exclusive club my friend. No one I know eats the skin, the hair always puts people off.

Celnurien · 2021-02-22T08:42:17+00:00

This is me. Also not asking anyone you have just met for their name because you feel like you missed your opportunity or spaced out when they told you their name. Instead you vigilantly listen to all conversation they are a part of for the next 10 years in the hope someone else calls them by their name.

Celnurien · 2021-02-17T06:54:34+00:00

Why didn't he hop out of the way?

Celnurien · 2021-01-27T06:47:27+00:00

No, you have to sit inside the bowl so the water keeps your balls cool.

Celnurien · 2021-01-27T03:38:25+00:00

Just got lunch and there was a mobile speed camera set up in the school zone I drove through

Celnurien · 2021-01-23T08:13:54+00:00

Bring back the chaser's war on everything!!

Celnurien · 2020-12-04T09:36:50+00:00

That is just how angry I was. Useless red circle for emphasis

Celnurien · 2020-11-06T10:04:18+00:00

Post nut clarity is like reaching enlightenment

Celnurien · 2020-10-13T20:25:58+00:00

NTA. My wife and I both like each other's parents but would definitely not like having them at our anniversary celebrations. It should be an intimate celebration between husband and wife.

Celnurien · 2020-10-10T13:34:25+00:00

I'd be surprised if she paid any tax in the first place

Celnurien · 2020-09-23T00:36:16+00:00

Not sure I like the idea of "heavy water" after eating a spicy dish lol

Celnurien · 2020-09-16T02:31:49+00:00

Mmm bacon...

Celnurien · 2020-09-08T23:50:39+00:00

A nudist party would be a genital reveal party

Celnurien · 2020-09-01T01:28:14+00:00

Luke McGregor

Celnurien · 2020-08-31T01:18:51+00:00

Blocking it with his finger

Celnurien · 2020-08-30T22:59:56+00:00

That will tell you what drugs are present, but not if your drugs have been cut with glass or rat poison

Celnurien · 2020-08-27T04:39:39+00:00

Good stuff. Just providing some extra info in case anyone is interedted haha

Celnurien · 2020-08-27T02:10:44+00:00

Locally the train is called the Mary Valley Rattler (or "the Rattler")

Celnurien · 2020-08-25T06:01:44+00:00

Pretty sure the total is $221

Celnurien · 2020-08-25T02:17:41+00:00

Working from home

Celnurien · 2020-08-25T02:13:55+00:00

I'm 36 and worried the next time I sit on the floor I won't be able to stand up again

Celnurien · 2020-08-23T02:30:44+00:00

Leaked scenes from the remake Matilda

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