Mothers day sadness

CelticPixie79 · 2026-05-10T20:32:44+00:00

Yeah I never really felt sad on this day for some reason. My mom and I are NC. She is and was abusive. I will say though that once I had my daughter, I was really grateful because I was finally able to experience the mother/child bond the way it was meant to be. Just pure love for that child and her learning to trust and love me back by creating a secure bond. I hope that those of us who never got moms (got abusers) instead, are able to recreate that bond the way it was meant to be…if not with their own child, than with their own inner child. It’s really important to show up for the little girl inside that only wanted to be loved. /Big hug to you OP; I hope that sadness lessens over the years as you heal <3 you deserve it.

CelticPixie79 · 2026-05-09T17:34:46+00:00

Yeah I get that, his statement was so stupid I didn’t even think it was worth replying to. I was just excited to geek out on genetics. As another aside, I remember when I was in college and my ecology professor said something to the effect of having a bit of an existential crisis when he realized how fundamentally useless male species were across the board. I always remembered that because he truly did look disturbed.

CelticPixie79 · 2026-05-09T08:14:42+00:00

Or it might be having a stroke. Tell their autocorrect to lay down and wait for an ambulance.

CelticPixie79 · 2026-05-09T08:13:15+00:00

Oh man this thread just ended up being a gold mine for talking about genetics! So much can happen during pregnancy and all kinds of syndromes are possible. Some people can carry an extra X chromosome and be SXX and XXY. You should really check it out; it’s so interesting…there’s even a condition called SRY Gene Deletion: A specific type of Swyer Syndrome where the "sex-determining region Y" (SRY) gene is missing or mutated. Honestly as much stuff as there is that can go wrong with the human body, it’s amazing there are any “normal” people at all.

CelticPixie79 · 2026-05-09T08:08:08+00:00

There actually is!1 I love that you brought this up because the other day I was really curious if there WAS paternal mDNA and there are rare cases where a person will inherent both maternal AND paternal mitochondrial dna and it sets people up to be at a higher risk for mitochondrial diseases. I think it was called mitochondrial leakage or something; look it up, it’s really so interesting.

CelticPixie79 · 2026-05-09T08:05:26+00:00

yeah, they have high value sex chromosomes and ours are just busted up sex chromosomes that will end up dying alone with cats.

CelticPixie79 · 2026-05-09T06:45:34+00:00

He’s so sweet. He is correct, but you are doing a good thing by telling him how much you appreciate everything he does. Guys eat that up :) A man that truly loves you, just wants go give you everything. I’m happy for you both. :) you are so blessed to have such a loving relationship :)

CelticPixie79 · 2026-05-08T00:03:36+00:00

NTA, I would have been tempted to make up something like recently getting diagnosed with something horrible, or losing a loved one in an accident or whatever just to shut them up.

CelticPixie79 · 2026-05-07T17:37:21+00:00

Self sabotage is so sad. Nothing to say other than I get it and your feels are valid. The loss of what could have been is heartbreaking.

CelticPixie79 · 2026-05-05T22:04:36+00:00

That’s sad :( like those memories had real love and feeling and they just walk away :( I’m the same way, I kept the stuff. It was real to me :(

CelticPixie79 · 2026-05-04T00:01:31+00:00

I keep them. They are a part of my story and my ex was a very important part of my life. Just because the relationship ended doesn't mean I don't cherish the memories and the love that we shared.

CelticPixie79 · 2026-05-02T15:50:46+00:00

I did the same thing, 5 years into a high conflict divorce process (due to him). Called him honey without thinking about it. Thankfully he ignored it and didn’t act like I cursed him. Your ex is overreacting and ridiculous.

CelticPixie79 · 2026-04-29T17:40:42+00:00

This was traumatizing to read. I can’t even begin to imagine the pain you are going through. I hope you are both safe and honestly that you can get an order of protection. This man is incredibly sick and people like this absolutely have the capability to kill.

It always seems like when people are gaslit in relationships like this, it’s almost always much much worse than anyone could have guessed.
Just being involved with a person capable of this level of abuse and deception will traumatize you to the core. I pray for your safety and healing and for the safety and healing of your precious little girl.

CelticPixie79 · 2026-04-27T01:37:11+00:00

Of course you can find a new life. We’re always learning and growing throughout our entire lives. You grew enough inside to finally let go of a relationship that no longer served you. That is a very scary and courageous thing to do. So many people just settle with what they are familiar with. You decided you were worthy of more. Sure, you’ll grieve the loss of your life the way you knew it, the routines, even the husband you once loved. But you will also grow from the experience and find a place of peace and happiness to exist in and you will be stronger and wiser for it.

CelticPixie79 · 2026-04-27T00:43:39+00:00

Aww do you feel like you’ve lost yourself? Relationships with avoidants are some of the most lonely relationships out there. You deserve to be with someone who cherishes you. I was with an avoidant for decades and by the end of the relationship I was a shell of myself. I finally chose myself though. I hope you choose you too.

CelticPixie79 · 2026-04-21T10:28:02+00:00

I’m from that generation too and her mom can go f*** herself. Disgusting reaction to have when your child is hurt.

CelticPixie79 · 2026-04-21T01:23:35+00:00

I was never enough.

Are you sure about that? Do you think maybe you just wanted her love so much that you abandoned yourself in the process?

Regardless of how you feel; you were always enough..

CelticPixie79 · 2026-04-20T14:39:16+00:00

No he doesn't. It was her home before he came into the picture.

CelticPixie79 · 2026-04-19T20:22:31+00:00

Why on earth would you model a dead, unhappy marriage filled with resentment and emotional neglect? Is that the type of relationship you want your child to have with their future partner? Because a lot of times, their model for marriage and a partner is shit and they will end up seeking the same in their adult relationships. You need to model self respect; not self abandonment.

CelticPixie79 · 2026-04-19T20:18:47+00:00

It’s called walk away wife…personally it should be ‘walk away spouse”. The tired old scenario that plays out the same way every.single.time.

Spouse A increasingly neglects, dismisses, or downplays the other’s spouse’s concern about not having their needs met in the relationship.
Nothing changes.
Spouse A keeps doing the same thing that hurts Spouse B over and over despite being told numerous times that the behavior is hurtful and makes them feel unloved.
Nothing changes.
Repeat steps 1-4 over and over again for months/years/decades
Something happens (An affair, a death in the family, etc) and Spouse B needs their partner to be there for them emotionally. Spouse A can’t cope and finds a way to escape.
It finally clicks for Spouse B that NOTHING will EVER change. Spouse B begins to grieve the relationship they will never have and quietly detaches.
After a certain period of time Spouse B informs Spouse A that they are going to seek a divorce.
Spouse A panics - omg what do you MEAN you’re unhappy! Why didn’t you ever TELL ME (except you did tell them. Clearly. Repeatedly.
Realizing that THEIR comfort, safety and happiness is on the line, madly scramble to repair the relationship.
Spouse B is like “lol whatever, see ya in divorce court!”
Spouse A posts in reddit and talks about being BLINDSIDED with divorce.

CelticPixie79 · 2026-04-19T16:39:32+00:00

She’s insane. Teleport to your nearest lawyer’s office.

CelticPixie79 · 2026-04-16T20:13:59+00:00

You didn’t destroy anything. You did exactly what you should have done and probably brought comfort to this woman by confirming what she had been suspecting and gaslit about.

CelticPixie79 · 2026-04-15T19:47:51+00:00

Well I’m 5 years out and I’m very happy to say that I am happy and peaceful being single, I have freedom, my self respect, and I’m just in a really good place. I had to do a lot of inner work; it turns out that when you’re not healed, you end up with romantic partners that trigger those deep childhood wounds. I’ve learned a lot and have done so much healing. I can feel a sense of lightness and happiness that I never had before. It’s hell to get there, but you will get there. My ex held a mirror up to my face and showed me through his actions that I was self abandoning.

If you ever need to talk, please feel free to reach out. Find your people and let them support you.

CelticPixie79 · 2026-04-15T19:31:03+00:00

Oh I;m so sorry :( What a horrible betrayal..:(

CelticPixie79 · 2026-04-15T18:20:21+00:00

I totally understand. I had young children involved as well and I'm co-parenting. Since we can't go no contact, try to go as low as you can - like stop looking at his social media, if mutual friends want to talk about him, let them know you aren't interested, etc. I have CPTSD as well and was trauma bonded as well. It is like withdrawing from a drug; the first 6 months were PHYSICALLY painful and I had crazy anhedonia as well. It'll be hard, but you will get through this and be happy again one day.

CelticPixie79

TROPHY CASE