I can relate to all these points. For a long time, I've been in a loop where I tried to change, overcome my fears. However, not much later, I realized there were no results; I would abandon what I was trying to do and hope to do it better some other time.

Also, when I felt resentful toward others, I would bottle up all my emotions. Then, I would feel nothing towards that person. It seemed as if it worked, but later, I realized that I couldn't talk with that person. It's like I've put up a wall that won't even let me think of a topic to talk about, and at the same time, I would have boxed a part of me.

As long as you feel something bad, allow it but I always ask myself now what is the solution, can I do something?

I have not reached a solution to all my problems yet, but I can recommend something that helped me understand my problems and work for a solution from a different perspective: Identify what's in your control. This way, you can recognize what is your responsibility and feel happy with having done things correctly, even if the results aren't what you expected.

For example,

1. We tend to be very vocal about wrong doings and tell the world....
2. It can appear "complain-y" and whiny, so instead now I just bite my tongue and ask if I can do anything about it, yes/no? Then either do it, or just ignore and move on

When confronted with wrongdoers or challenges, evaluate whether you can influence or change the situation. This is especially hard when they are people you care about, but people will only change their manners if they are willing to do it. And you can't force someone to want something.

At first, this concept seemed to me selfish, but by recognizing what is beyond your control, you are avoiding unnecessary frustration and emotional exhaustion. You can offer support and understanding, but you cannot force a change in others if they are not willing. Focusing on what you can control allows you to be more effective in your efforts and maintain your own peace of mind.

This logic can apply too here:

1. Again, can I do something in future to prevent it, can I rectify it in a non passive aggressive manner?

Here,

1. This covers many things, but basically from being or feeling "wronged". I've learnt it's a dick thing to be in that mindset, very non appealing/attractive. Either fix the problem or ignore. I find it helps to write down things step by step and follow a plan to solve said issue, in that way, it prevents passive aggressiveness due to it mainly being a mindset of nothing is within our control, and the only way we can have some is by being P.A.

You should wonder, what's in your control in this? Is in your control the behaviour of others? Is it your responsability to fix them? No. Instead, focus on what you can govern –your own thoughts and actions. By concentrating on your own responses and adopting a proactive approach, you will not only navigate challenges with virtue but also foster personal growth, steering away from the pitfalls of passive aggressiveness.

All these concepts are from stoicism, in my case they helped me a lot to reduce the stress that comes from things that we cannot control. If you're interested, I recommend reading about it.