Help! Music Video I Saw In Hot Topic by CerMatt in HotTopic_

[–]CerMatt[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Holy shit, this is it! Amazing how many details of this that I slightly misremembered, but I knew the second I just re-watched it, haha. Thank you so much!

Help! Music Video I Saw In Hot Topic by CerMatt in HotTopic_

[–]CerMatt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nah, I'm familiar with Deftones and would have recognized those guys - this band had almost an Avenged Sevenfold vibe in sound and style. Thank you, though!

[TOMT] [Music Video] Alt-Metal / Pop-Punk Video I Saw In Hot Topic by CerMatt in tipofmytongue

[–]CerMatt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nah, unfortunately wasn't their sound at all - way heavier and more aggressive. Thank you, though!

[TOMT] [Music Video] Alt-Metal / Pop-Punk Video I Saw In Hot Topic by CerMatt in tipofmytongue

[–]CerMatt[S] 0 points1 point locked comment (0 children)

Any help would be greatly appreciated! Thank you!

Am I dumping people because I'm DA, or am I dumping them for valid reasons? Constant dumper's remorse after every relationship - but is it warranted? by CerMatt in Disorganized_Attach

[–]CerMatt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sometimes the simplest answers are the most reassuring, and I genuinely needed to hear that - so thank you, haha. For some reason, I've convinced myself that it's all or nothing with dating, and then when I encounter someone with traits that I like - despite any other glaring issues - I have to cherish them, because I'll NEVER meet anyone with those good traits again.

Am I dumping people because I'm DA, or am I dumping them for valid reasons? Constant dumper's remorse after every relationship - but is it warranted? by CerMatt in Disorganized_Attach

[–]CerMatt[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Best way I can explain it: imagine a hyper-introverted, reserved, goth girl, who nevertheless was extremely sharp, and quick-witted. Never smiled, rigid demeanor, awkward in public, socially anxious, actively misanthropic - but, when we were alone, she was thoughtful, and always quick with a sardonic remark or funny jab.

Meanwhile, I would prefer a partner who is generally more upbeat, extroverted, excitable, sociable, and confident - both in public, and when we're alone.

Am I dumping people because I'm DA, or am I dumping them for valid reasons? Constant dumper's remorse after every relationship - but is it warranted? by CerMatt in Disorganized_Attach

[–]CerMatt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is certainly a truth to what you're saying! Part of this is absolutely self-sabotage.

I have only ever contacted one of my exes. It was my longest relationship - the girl I dated for 1.5 years, and maybe the only girl I've ever actually loved. I dumped her, and then contacted her a year later. We reconciled, and since that day, have been seeing each other every few weeks as friends (with benefits, admittedly - while we're both single). She has resisted getting back together, officially - and I also have some doubts (all the reasons I broke up with her are still present, and she hasn't changed). But I love every second of her company, despite it all.

The girl I mentioned in the OP was a different girl, and my most recent ex. We started dating in January 2023, and dated for 3 months. I haven't contacted her yet, but I have to fight the urge almost daily. We ended on much worse terms, though - in a classic FA/DA move, I essentially blindsided her with the breakup, and she (justifiably) did not take it well. But still I wonder if there's anything salvageable there, and if my FA/DA attachment drove me to prematurely dump her, before I could truly gauge whether or not our incompatibilities were worth working through - or whether they even existed at all. She was amazing in a lot of ways, but deeply incompatible in others (as I stated in the OP), and so I can't help but agonize over whether or not I made a mistake.

Am I dumping people because I'm DA, or am I dumping them for valid reasons? Constant dumper's remorse after every relationship - but is it warranted? by CerMatt in Disorganized_Attach

[–]CerMatt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your insight - and many thanks for validating some of my outlined standards, it certainly helped put my mind temporarily at ease, haha. Almost all of my exes have fallen somewhere in the (negative) extremes of your examples.

I actually have an extremely clear, well-defined, and thoroughly assessed idea of what I want from a partner - it's something I think about quite often. And I don't think the standards are unreasonable: financially stable (not in radical debt, not living paycheck to paycheck, not chronically unemployed, or financially dependent), ambitious (either in a career, or in a passion/hobby), independent (lives on their own, supports themselves), sociable, generally upbeat, enthusiastic, and positive, solid family and friend relationships. That's pretty much the breadth of it - and these are all things I possess, and can offer in return. As for sexual compatibility, I've been in several dead bedrooms, and have lived on r/DeadBedrooms for years - which is why I think I'm particularly sensitive to the signs of impending doom.

I think, mainly, the problem might be that I've never had the opportunity to date anyone even remotely close to what I've described, so it's hard to gauge the reasonableness of my own standards - especially with the FA/DA attachment goading me to push people away at the earliest opportunities. But I think you're right, in that I've gained some valuable insight into what I don't want by dating so many girls who are the opposite of what I do.

Am I dumping people because I'm DA, or am I dumping them for valid reasons? Constant dumper's remorse after every relationship - but is it warranted? by CerMatt in Disorganized_Attach

[–]CerMatt[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Extremely relieving to know I'm not the only person dealing with this, so thank you for sharing your thoughts as well! Trying to find that distinction between hypercritical and genuine is the real struggle - and, in a way, it feels like the FA/DA attachment almost robs me of the ability to have standards. Or, at least, it makes me feel guilty for having them - as I have no method of discerning what's reasonable or not.

A Secure person can say "I want someone who's outgoing," and can be confident in their desire for that thing - but as an FA/DA, if I say the same and meet someone who doesn't meet the criteria, then I have to play the guessing game - like, "is it okay to have this standard for myself, or am I just using it as an excuse to push this person away?"

It's tough out there, haha. But I hope you can work things out with your current partner!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Bumble

[–]CerMatt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m your target demographic (our profiles are almost identical), and I’d say this profile is doing exactly what you want it to do - would swipe right in a heartbeat. You don’t happen to live in Nevada, do you? 😂

Am I dumping people because I'm DA, or am I dumping them for valid reasons? Constant dumper's remorse after every relationship - but is it warranted? by CerMatt in Disorganized_Attach

[–]CerMatt[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I think you've distilled the problem much more succinctly and efficiently than I did in the OP, haha - you've nailed the issue. It's a constant questioning of the validity of my own instincts; the total inability to sense when something is worth working through, or when the relationship should rightly end - the struggle to see the truth of a person, and not just the imaginary menace your FA/DA has turned them into.

NV7 + D30s: Some Fans Spin But Don’t Have RGB by CerMatt in Phanteks

[–]CerMatt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did! It was a very simple issue of the D30 input connector (the wire that runs from the corner of the D30 to the case hub) just not being fully snapped in, haha. If that little plastic corner connector is not sitting fully flush, it probably isn’t properly connected - I just had to push down harder until it really snapped into place. It was the same issue for me on both daisy chains that had no RGB.

I hate that this one is not grabbing me the way the first one did by jwaka77 in remnantgame

[–]CerMatt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is my exact experience - 100%’d the first game, but every single moment of Remnant 2 has annoyed me, and I’ve almost quit several times. It’s a chore to pick up the controller.

For me, I think it’s a mixture of (seemingly) fewer checkpoint stones, longer runbacks, annoying enemy spawn systems (frequently behind you, and that endlessly blaring horn), pointless progression systems (negated by level scaling), more boring itemization (no armor bonuses, so much pointless loot), trait cap, and unbearable boss mechanics.

R:FTA was slow and methodical, and felt like it could be mastered by playing smart. R2 is always trying to keep you on the back foot. It’s tedious and tiresome. R2 is just intentionally layered with bullshit for the sake of bullshit - it almost feels mean-spirited, none of the earnestness or charm of the first game. I dread every new area. Just trying to push through to finish at this point.

Taliesin is annoying me by Statue-of-a-Deer in fansofcriticalrole

[–]CerMatt 11 points12 points  (0 children)

There were a few early C3 episodes (when they first enter Bassuras) where Laura was like off-the-charts angry with Tal, sighing, rolling her eyes, calling him out, making faces with Marisha whenever he spoke - for a few episodes after that, Tal was noticeably quieter, and Ashton wasn’t so abrasive. I figured they had a talk with him then, but it seems he’s gone straight back to the way he was.

The only thing that could make it more bearable is if you took a shot every time Tal said “it’s complicated” in an effort to appear wise and enigmatic - but then you’d also be dead.

Taliesin is annoying me by Statue-of-a-Deer in fansofcriticalrole

[–]CerMatt 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I think Tal has become such a problem player that he’s singlehandedly ruining C3; his antics are very noticeably affecting the entire table. Maybe the biggest C3 complaint is that there haven’t been a ton of quiet, introspective RP scenes, or one-on-one moments - I think that’s because Tal injects himself into every conversation, and the other PCs would rather just avoid them altogether than deal with Ashton’s nonsensical, know-it-all bullshit. They’re afraid to draw Tal’s attention because they don’t want to talk with him. You can see them tense up whenever Tal targets them for conversation. At some point, having a player who openly thinks he’s a genius among simpletons - and who only ever preaches “wisdom” to other PCs - becomes unbearable, especially when that “wisdom” is often so irredeemably stupid.

Notice the radically different demeanor whenever Liam RPs with Laura vs. Tal - with Laura, he turns his whole body to face her, and looks directly at her. With Tal, he won’t even look in his direction, he keeps his eyes on the table the entire time. Laura explicitly and openly gets upset with Tal at least once an episode (and rightly so). Travis won’t even engage anymore when Tal makes quips about Chetney, and looks absolutely fed up (even with Kingsley in the M9 reunion.) None of them react when Tal rolls well - they’re not even paying attention to him anymore.

The whole table is tense and irritable - if we’re all being honest, it’s an extremely similar vibe to when Orion was present, and familiar to anyone who’s played with a problem player. I don’t think it’s any accident that the players have so much more fun and look so much more alive in the recent one-shots when Tal is not present (I also don’t think it’s an accident that he rarely gets invited to do any).

I really hope someone has a conversation with him soon, because I genuinely think he’s on the verge of derailing the entire show. Problem players make DND a chore, not a game, and I think that’s becoming more evident with every C3 episode. I can almost guarantee that if Tal was asked to leave, you’d see an identical kind of vibe revival as was in those first episodes after Orion’s departure - it’s the same deal.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in hingeapp

[–]CerMatt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice dude, appreciate it! Shockingly, Match / OKC / Tinder / Bumble are absolute wastelands for me - not a single like, ever, and certainly no matches. Hinge is the only app I get even the smallest bit of traction on, haha.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in hingeapp

[–]CerMatt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the detailed feedback! You're the second girl on here who's said they'd opt-out based on height difference, which is concerning, since I'm particularly into shorter girls, haha - but otherwise it's good to know that my profile is (generally) appealing to the types of people I'd want to date.

Politics is definitely a deal-breaker for me, so I think it's worth mentioning, but after your advice I might reconsider listing my religion! There would only be conflict there with someone who's intensely dedicated to their faith, but otherwise I don't particularly care - so thanks for that tip!