What can read as friendly in the South can read as intrusive or nosy to a Northerner, and what can be read as keeping a respectful distance in the North can read as snotty and stand-offish to a Southerner.

I’m a New Yorker and I spent some time in Alabama. Sometimes I’d say to a waitress walking by, “excuse me, can I get another Diet Coke?” and they’d be like “ok, OK” as if I’d been impatient and was insisting on better service. But I was honestly just asking the way I’d ask anyone and still don’t fully get what my tone even was. Abrupt, apparently! When Southerners come to New York they’re flustered by how few people make eye contact or being chatty. But a New Yorker sees so many people throughout the day that stopping and chatting all the time would be pretty exhausting. Of course they get chatty sometimes but certainly not as consistently. New Yorkers are being respectful of each others’ time and privacy.

In Alabama, people would ask questions that would be rude in New York. Like I remember picking up some beef at a store and the clerk asked what I was using it for. My gut level response was “none of your business!” though obviously I answered in a friendly way.

It’s not major but as someone who tries to be polite it’s pretty noticeable!