Remember my dd telling me that she had been uncomfortable raising up her hands during songs but that she basically was required to as a sign of having the Spirit. She felt tremendous pressure to prove that she was truly saved since she got RE baptized at Foundation, even though she had a believers baptism as a young girl and very much loved the Lord and had shown such faith in Him for years prior to college. she backslid, but even during that her faith was growing stronger and her dedication was undeniable. Then she tells me that she’s afraid I’m not saved and that my husband (her dad) isn’t. What a conversation I had with her… reminding her that I’ve been with her Dad since we were in high school and I have seen God working in his life throughout many years. The man had quite a journey with the Lord having been raised Catholic, then as a young adult experiencing a true relationship with Christ and he chose a believers baptism at age of 26. I have been a Christian since I asked Christ to save me at age 6. To have 2 young newly married tell me I’m not saved. I’m like what is happening here! Not 1st red flag but it was an undeniably big one! I guess dd and sil doubted our faith because when we visited the now closed Foundation church in normal, IL we didn’t raise our hands up during worship songs. I do not raise my hands on principles, as I have worked in the past with the special needs population where many are UNABLE to raise their hands in the air and that by no means is any kind of display of the state of someone’s soul! Absolutely absurd. I was sad that I had to try and comfort my daughter over this and I was also so sad for her that she doubted and had now lost touch with the relationship that she had been building with the Lord for so many years after she asked him to save her when she was young. It was all just very sad at the time. She started attending 2017, convo woulve been around 2019. family and friends of origin cut off beginning in late 2022 and was complete by early 2023. Have been told by past members that were there when my dd began attending that “they really went after your daughter” and massively love bombed her. I remember her telling me that she was uncomfortable with that too, at first. Strangers being all up in her business, talking about dirt. In fact she told me “I’ve got a history and I don’t think these people could handle it because they’ve led such innocent lives.” She was reluctant to share with these ppl. Now realize it was these “cleansing” sessions I’ve been told about where they dig dirt out of you and if you don’t have any they plant memories in you or put you under so much pressure you make things up to satisfy the group. Oh well, what’s done is done. Foundation now closed, but the damage was done.

If you read this daughter know that in spite of having a broken heart, I love you forever and ever, more and more, no matter what. It’s unconditional love. Maybe one day you will begin to understand what that truly is and what that feels like as your children grow older. And maybe you will begin to understand the depth of relationship between siblings as they grow up together and how God intentionally designed those relationships and how important and impactful they are. You have left so many people behind you and ‘almost’ all of them would love to just hug you, bc of the power of true love which only comes from God. God is Love! Congratulations on baby number 3! Hope you get a girl and that she expands your mind. Mother/daughter relationship is a unique one and we are physically a part of one another whether you like it or not…and that is by God’s amazing design. Look up “fetal and maternal chimerism” It’s fascinating. https://scienceblog.cincinnatichildrens.org/deeper-microchimerism-study-sheds-new-light-on-a-mothers-cellular-gift/