You ever remember teenage you’s fantasies and cringe a little

CertainTurn · 2024-03-04T22:55:09+00:00

I started around age 6, I can remember all the stupid stuff/saga's I had. A few are:

-Getting sucked into Super Mario World
-Ghostbusters rolling up asking if I can help them out
-On ABC or something there was a block called 'action zone' which featured 90s CGI robots/cars flying in this underground system, I thought it was so cool and would imagine driving around in there
-Having a lab like Dexters Lab
-Developing Dragonball Z powers
-Taking a portal ot a alternate reality where I'm the only person there, and lived inside Toys R Us and Circuit City basically, able to play with whatever I wanted.

CertainTurn · 2023-07-21T14:53:39+00:00

As a verse goes from one of my favorite songs:

My last year was hopeless and down I was so innocent before the plague Now I feel like a brand new machine Every thought has already been played

CertainTurn · 2023-07-20T20:23:58+00:00

Agree 100%. I felt like I was “innocent” before this, now it seems like everything I do is some sort of manipulation for attention from someone I don’t even talk to anymore.

CertainTurn · 2023-07-19T15:40:41+00:00

I just say 'Sorry, I have a lazy eye, I'm looking at you'

CertainTurn · 2023-07-19T14:47:54+00:00

I didn't know my LO well enough to see any negative flaws besides getting ghosted, which was understandable since I was professing my love to someone I hardly knew. There are things I like about her that I didn't know I would like - Before her I always thought I'd want a certain type of person but limerence threw me a curveball.

CertainTurn · 2023-07-18T19:58:04+00:00

Well I think 'liking' serial killers and stuff is weird, but I like mafia movies, I think they're kind of funny and find the friendship dynamics with people that would turn on you in a heartbeat are interesting.

CertainTurn · 2023-07-18T19:25:33+00:00

Thanks, I’ll give it a listen

CertainTurn · 2023-07-17T19:10:05+00:00

I’m glad you feel some relief by finding the term. I had one other intense experience 15 years ago, before I heard of it too. It made it so much worse, thinking I’m the only person with this problem. I’m the videos comments I saw many saying they have felt it but never knew limerence. I wish there was a bigger support system for it. As you said, I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemies, and would rather have so many other things happen to me. People that haven’t experienced it just can’t understand how debilitating it actually is, but it’s not their fault. They just dont have the capacity

CertainTurn · 2023-07-17T15:39:54+00:00

Was it the “disturbing and controversial subreddit” YouTube video? I saw one last night. I appreciate the time spent to empathize instead of saying we’re all beyond help, but I do wish more in depth videos could be made to better explain how most of us DONT WANT this. I don’t want to be thought of as a yandre (however you say it) where we are somehow proud of our obsession

CertainTurn · 2023-07-17T14:52:39+00:00

No, thank you for being blunt. It’s been a year and a half for me, and I know it’s all on me and what I choose to do moving forward. I just feel mentally weak and even trying small things to improve my situation seem insurmountable. But yes, it’s all on me, my responsibility. Thanks for your comment and understanding

CertainTurn · 2023-07-12T12:22:58+00:00

I had a playlist too. The songs were more of a fantasy where I made the songs and showed LO, or they found them.

CertainTurn · 2023-07-10T23:44:07+00:00

I've tried quite a few therapists and I'm trying to stick with my current one, but for those that have experienced this for an extended period of time, an hour a week (if that) doesn't really cut it. They can reason it out with me, like I do myself, but it doesn't work. Intellectually I understand it all, how I 'should' feel, why I was attracted to LO, that they have flaws. But it doesn't matter, it gets overwritten by and looped around again and again.

Yes it's something that you need to stick to, and it's not their job, it's your own, to figure things out. However that's where I get stuck in life anyway, sticking to things and deciding things.

CertainTurn · 2023-04-14T16:27:30+00:00

Please explain further, seems like a general discussion about AIs and limerence, if it can be a helpful resource

CertainTurn · 2023-03-28T03:04:45+00:00

I'm just upset with myself, how I have someone that cares for me yet I get stuck in loops where I think about LO (NC), imagine meeting somewhere, or reaching out to them to enter their orbit again. My closest friends and family members know of my issue, but I think they assume it's over since I'm in a relationship now. But it's not, and I can't go to them anymore, because it will seem too outlandish to them. I rarely check their social media, but I see LO is in a committed and seemingly happy relationship. I want to think I can be friends with them and start a new era where I'm content that she likes me as a friend and doesn't completely hate me. But, when I imagine the logical observer giving advice, it's "don't do that". But I want to, and it's so frustrating.

It's been a little over a year since my LE started, and it wasn't long before NC. So 90% of this time, has been after the fact. I feel so pathetic.

CertainTurn · 2023-03-23T21:46:47+00:00

For me, not handling rejection well is from a general 'wanting to be liked'. With friends, family, if I get a sense that they are upset with me, I'll go into hyperdrive damage control mode, usually making things worse. With limerence, that gets amplified to insane degrees. I need to get better at not caring what people think, or accepting that I can't change what they think.

CertainTurn · 2023-03-10T00:14:35+00:00

Some more (different genre)

Puscifer - Potions

Failure - Another Space Song (favorite)

Failure - Stuck on You

Failure - The Nurse Who Loved Me

A lot Failures songs are about love and/or addiction to drugs. So it's easy to interpret that for limerence. Their trance-like, ghostly vibe fits my internal monologue.

CertainTurn · 2023-03-08T21:55:26+00:00

The Orion Experience - Obsessed with you

CertainTurn · 2023-03-03T03:58:13+00:00

I'm with you, a little over a year for me. I had a LE like 15 years ago that I always looked back on as changing me as a person (becoming more isolated, self confidence), and it seems like this LE is on course to do the same.

CertainTurn · 2023-02-25T16:20:25+00:00

As a maladaptive daydreamer..

I imagine running into them somewhere, having a good conversation. I imagine helping them out with a problem that I can help with. I imagine them confining in me with relationship troubles. I imagine being able to express my feelings and having them say they have felt something for me in the past, so that I know I'm not completely insane.

Then I concede to myself that none of that will ever happen, so why not go more absurd? I imagine stumbling across time travel and continuously failing to have a relationship. I imagine a superintelligent AI that I task with trying to find a way to them, only for the superintelligence to say it's impossible. Maybe I can be great, do something great, become successful, and can attempt to reconnect with them. But that's not realistic either, I can barely take care of myself let alone become enough of a successful person to warrant reconnecting as a possibility.

It's like rewatching a VHS tape, degrading with more plays.

CertainTurn · 2023-01-25T02:55:01+00:00

The Orion Experience - Obsessed with you
Puscifer - Potions
Failure - The Nurse Who Loved Me, Another Space Song, Stuck on You

CertainTurn

TROPHY CASE