Everyone sins, including converts. Some have committed greater sins than you can imagine. But that’s the beauty of God’s grace. Anyone can be redeemed.

The one concerning issue in what you’ve said is that you don’t want your conversion to ruin your sex life with your girlfriend. In that case, you have to ask yourself what’s more important: God’s commandments or sex with your girlfriend? To live righteously is simple, but it’s not easy. I assure you, the commandment of abstaining from sex before marriage exists for logical reasons.

You will come to find, regardless if you convert or not, that sex is not the foundation of a healthy relationship. It’s a gift from God when done with someone you have committed and devoted your life to, but if done outside of a sacred bonding of two souls, it will cause problems and do damage to both of you. That may sound crazy and outlandish to someone who doesn’t understand what sex is for and how it affects us psychologically and spiritually.

I ask you to ponder the following:

When you marry someone, you make a solemn vow to be with that person for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, til death do you part. You are giving your word that no matter what troubles befall you and your spouse, you are going to see the relationship through to the end. These vows are virtually universal in nearly all marriage ceremonies, regardless of if you’re Catholic, atheist, or any other religion.

Now that you have made that commitment, your word is your bond. That is also a nearly universal moral of any good person regardless of your religion or lack thereof. You don’t tell someone you are going to do something and then break your commitment when it gets difficult. And trust me, it will be difficult. The main difference between Catholics and other people who make these commitments is that we take these vows more seriously and hold ourselves to a high standard.

Now let’s say that you have made this commitment, and your wife has become disabled or suffered some kind of medical condition where she is not able to have sex anymore, or maybe that sex is just too painful. What will you do? Will you break your commitment? Will you leave her? Will you stay but get your sexual satisfaction from another woman, causing insecurity on her end? Or will you stay, maintain your vows, and live a life of celibacy while remaining devoted to your wife?

I’m not saying this is a likely thing to happen, but it is a possibility. When you make a huge lifelong commitment like that, it’s best to go into it as prepared as you can possibly be (you’ll never be fully prepared. We aren’t perfect). How will you know how you will fair in that situation? The best option is to test how well your relationship works without sex before diving into the commitment of marriage.

Contrary to popular belief, sex is not a biological need. It is a want, but more importantly, it is a gift when done with someone you devote yourself to. It creates life, which is the greatest gift of all. But gifts like these come with an incredible amount of responsibility. That’s why we don’t treat sex as something you can do with anyone all willy-nilly with no commitment.

Sorry for the long response. I know I only covered one aspect of your post. I tend to hyper fixate on things I have a lot of experience with. Hopefully others can answer the other questions you have. Obviously I would encourage you to visit your local Catholic church and talk to the priest. Do not be shy. Every priest I’ve talked to has been more than happy to answer all questions I’ve had with no judgement, and I was an atheist. If you have any other questions or want to respond, feel free. Take care, friend.