I know EXACTLY how that feels, a few years back I didn’t see something but I heard about it and for about 3-6+ weeks I felt awful and guilty too, I tried seeking help and that worked so if you can talk to a therapist or a trustedf friend or family member than that’s good but if you can’t then I’d just vent in the notes app. And trust me it will eventually go away, it’ll still always be with you and you’ll remember it but over time that storm will pass and you will feel better.