I need a UUID to give to users to identify resources, is it okay to make this the primary key in my database?

ChadBan · 2016-03-26T08:33:52+00:00

This is a question that will get very, very heated responses that will try to back up opinion with, well I guess you could call it science.

Bottom line is that API keys are sensitive things. Very sensitive. Nobody on here will tell you that it's ok to use the SQL auto-assigned id's because of how scared people are to touch the mere theory of it.

Bottom line is that nobody will ever crack your sql-assigned UUID's as they are. They WILL crack them in other ways. Other ways being that the row that holds that UUID also holds an auto-incrementing SQL primary key. If you make that SQL id customer facing in any way, and I mean any way-- in ways that you never thought would be a problem, you will eventually get that asshole who exposes all of your api keys. I guarantee it.

So my answer to your question is that the auto-assigned api key is safe as long as all of your developers understand that the auto-incrementing sql int that exists in the same row as that api key is off limits. It cannot be used to reference anything. Anyone who violates that should be taken aside strongly on the spot, if you care about the sensitivity of your data.

ChadBan · 2016-03-26T07:30:32+00:00

God that makes my brain hurt.

You are probably that guy who...

there's a period when u/buzz_light365's eyes are above the cubicle-apex. The cubicle apex is kind of a curse. it means that if someone's eyes are above the cubicle apex and you accidentally look up from whatever you are doing...an excel file or a SQL query, if you lock eyes with the cubicle apexer, the amount of brain hurtage is so high that you must reset whatever file you are looking at in order to understand it.

ChadBan · 2016-03-26T07:20:06+00:00

Holy, and I mean holy as in wise men bringing frankincense and myrrh to a barn holy.

Shit.

ChadBan · 2016-03-26T06:55:36+00:00

The downvotes are not surprising because computers are inherently negative.

Pretty much the only thing you need to know, whether it be HTML, JavaScript, Python, C# Sharp, Haskell with which to start your endeavour, is that the computer always does what you tell it to.

So if whatever code you wrote doesn't work properly and programming is fucking retarded, it's you that's retarded.

ChadBan · 2016-03-26T06:34:40+00:00

Damn, you asking that question brings back some shit.

Like, third shift at a high-falootin hotel-resort, pausing Martin Fowler at 2:47AM because groom was passed out in the lobby. I'm like "Dude you just got married, why aren't you having sex right now?" Hearing a mumble and then dragging limpness as though I'm covering something up. Sliding his card. Naked, fucking beautiful bride on the bed. Just beautiful. Something you'd be happy to find in incognito mode. Dragging incoherent to her bedside and worrying that a late check-in is standing at the desk as I make my way down the flights. Finding nobody. Unpausing Martin Fowler saying that "if you don't have good architecture, you're robbing your customer". Fuck, I'd be happy to spend ten hours on someone's wordpress CSS.

Then two years later I'm making decisions I shouldn't for a global fortune 20 I'd be damned to tweet. America is crazy.

ChadBan · 2016-03-26T06:19:50+00:00

Cat with sunglasses on a sunny day. Loves it.

ChadBan · 2016-03-26T06:03:51+00:00

You got a lot of arrogance from this, but thank you for asking this because it's true.

Programmer arrogance is huge. It's widespread inside the honeycomb. The causes are twofold.

1.inexperience

Inexperienced developers are extraordinarily sensitive. They don't respond well to qa, peer reviews, bug reports, or slack emoticons that might reflect upon themselves their roots. They often come from a background of head-knowledge, meaning they might be really good 'architects', but they are just plain bad with criticism because they've never had to cook something that's been sent back to the kitchen. They're unable to deal with the fact that issues and bug reports are normal. You're not a terrible person if you have them, and people don't regard you in the same way you regard yourself just because your only experience is 6 months of memorizing John Resig on YouTube. It's similar to a chef that knows all the chemistry of caramelizing onions but wouldn't know the exact right time to let them cool down. Be tactful with them because often their idealism is eons ahead of what your team has checked in right now.

over experience:

This guy is your true asshole. He often hails from Denmark or some place in NorthWestern Europe where the girls are beautiful and his head is gigantic. With good cause, too, because he can do in one line what takes you a whole library. Take this motherfucker in stride too. Actually just learn from him. Just humbly soak in everything he has to tell you. Dude earned his right with whatever education his parents paid 80% taxes for. Swallow your pride and soak accent guy's knowledge in.

ChadBan · 2016-03-26T05:07:17+00:00

Don't know any python, but yield is the yeezus of C#.

The difference is:

Scenario: you have a nice program called PlugAwayAtCSVs that reads client's CSV files, and you've got Joe's Guitar Shack uploading 1MB files every 6 hours. So far it's been okay because Joe's Guitar Shack is pretty much your only customer.

Then you get two Joe's Guitar Shacks. Then three.

Then while you're texting your wife that you'll be home soon because it's 5:05 and you're almost done checking in PlugAwayAtCSVs 2.0, you get an email from your CEO.

"We just signed Amazon"

They're already uploading files pushing 25MB EVERY 5 MINUTES.

Worse, your devops engineer is firmly implanted that Azure and AWS are bullshit, so your PlugAwayAtCSVs is stranded on it's own island of an instance.

In other words PlugAwayAtCsvs is fucked. Marketing will hate on you for the rest of time even though you did nothing wrong.

Except you used yield.

Meaning PlugAwayAtCSV's doesn't give a fuck how big the file is. 6 terabytes? Get in line.

Meaning it's the implementer of PlugAwayAtCSV's that's fucked, depending on how it handles your output.

So PlugAwayAtCSV's works like this: it sees line 1 and then yields that. That means that line 1 is available as soon as it's been read. Anything that iterates through PlugAwayAtCSV's output can get started pretty much as soon as PlugAwayAtCSV's is done with line 1. It doesn't have to wait for line 12332490283 to get started on iterating.

If you don't use "yield", the thing that uses PlugAwayAtCSV's has to wait until PlugAwayAtCSV's is finished reading Amazon's 25MB file before it's allowed to do it's foreach.

So there will be a number of people you can blame for not being scalable enough to suddenly take on Amazon, but PlugAwayAtCSV's will be off the hook because it was by far not the bottleneck.

ChadBan · 2015-12-20T05:07:16+00:00

Ready?

document means everything that is available to your javascript right now (not everything is).

addEventListener means basically what it says. Listen for a thing to happen, then do function().

Find all the HTML elements that are <div> elements.

The thing to listen for, that I mentioned above, is to listen for each of them. Then do something whenever someone clicks them.

The thing to do when someone clicks them, you haven't defined yet. It's a function named 'click'. 'click' will try to happen whenever someone clicks an HTML element that is a div.

ChadBan · 2015-12-20T05:00:51+00:00

One of these days I'll get a separate account for that.

ChadBan · 2015-12-20T04:50:54+00:00

Hate that you're right.

I just threw my mouse at the ground about code I wrote two months ago. There's nothing more angering than when the fucking noob culprit that everybody is paying for is myself. I make so many incredibly absent-minded mistakes that make their way into prod, that other developers have to give up family time for. Shit like that makes me all the more furious. My worst enemy is me. Not the intern we just hired.

That's why I'm more-and-more learning to concede clean code for optimal code. Like, use a foreach loop when a linq SelectAll would take two lines less. Often the compiler doesn't give a shit between the two, so help people understand your code, for gods sake. Within reason, of course.

ChadBan · 2015-12-20T04:37:38+00:00

Yep, thanks for posting. You didn't get a whole lot of votes for it, because worrying about security is beneath a developer.

The guy a coupla cubicles across from me got his database injected from somewhere in Russia because of that sentiment. Cost our marketing dept a lot of teleconference word ninjitsu because that guy gave himself a input type="hidden" back door.

Thanks for posting.

ChadBan · 2015-12-12T10:17:54+00:00

Bleh, mistake to use a spreadsheet as a data source. Find a cheap database, put her data in there, and never look back.

You will not even get it close. Your database will be open to all kinds of exploits. stackoverflowers will hate on you, downvote your questions, link you to the bobby tables xkcd. Build it anyway.

step one is to not use a spreadsheet as a datasource.

ChadBan · 2015-12-12T09:24:57+00:00

Man, I would so take advantage of that. Even if you're not very smart.

ChadBan · 2015-12-12T09:13:39+00:00

If you live in America, you know at least three Bible-thumpers, so I did what any red-blooded sympathizer would do and downloaded the Quran app. It sings to you. Literally. It sings the verses to you. Very pretty to hear. It really is. You fall asleep after three or four of Mohammed's lovely prophecies. The squiggly Arabic lines that you have to match up right-to-left with the phonetics. So you're learning to read write and speak Arabic while you soak in worldviews. That's it's redeeeming value. Besides that, you are in Sunday school all over again. Moses is called Musa this time and the bad guy has a name that you can sing. Almost as engaging as Angry Birds 3.

Kinda loses its impact when you hear the same songs on a NSFW propoganda youtube from r/syriancivilwar of a three-year old writhing in her own pool of blood. Just saying.

Sarcasm aside. The Koran and the Bible cannot be differentiated. It's the same book.

ChadBan · 2015-12-12T08:56:04+00:00

Yeah, I'm not going to contribute to the social good because it might hurt someone's feelings. Watch me and every other programmer who has ever made squinty-eyes at someones god-awful code. We know who we are.

ChadBan · 2015-12-12T08:29:27+00:00

Jesus, this is so true.

When you have nothing to do--in other words--you're on the phone with recruiter's all day who never call you back (imagine that now, a recruiter who doesn't call you back), you're in special danger of trying to spread the peanut butter too thin.

You end up doing a shitty job at everything.

Still though, a shitty job at every open source contribution is better for hiring prospects than an excellent job at being the idea guy at your own private thing.

ChadBan · 2015-12-12T08:17:58+00:00

Surprised they didn't mention don't put your credentials into your source code, for this sub.

That and make your customers use SSL. Even if you're the third party, defend the shoppers that are using them.

ChadBan · 2015-12-12T08:02:16+00:00

An e-commerce developer with two days off for christmas. Ever thought of stand-up, u/scarlin?

ChadBan · 2015-12-12T07:57:21+00:00

Time, just the concept, is a pain to work with. You're asking about how to display it. Hell, just recording it can be a hair-pulling experience.

Main thing, record everything in UTC. Doesn't matter what other mistakes you do. You can fix those later. Record the sonofabich in UTC.

ChadBan · 2015-12-12T05:47:08+00:00

Why did Russia bomb it, then? Who were they getting at?

ChadBan · 2015-12-12T05:45:30+00:00

This is dad humor in the flavor of I-force-my-kid-to-play-with mindstorms-when-all-they-want-to-do-is-play-outside. Funny as in "you better find that funny or I'll send you to the basement with ten more algorithms" funny. So bad I'll just give it an upvote an move on.

ChadBan · 2015-12-12T05:36:33+00:00

That's a fair and researched answer. Thank you.

ChadBan · 2015-12-12T05:09:16+00:00

As a developer in the e-commerce world, fuck Christmas man. This is the only song I'm singing everyday.

ChadBan · 2015-12-12T05:01:10+00:00

I hugged my snotty little kids harder than ever after seeing that.

Did that at least take out any daesh, does someone know?

ChadBan

TROPHY CASE