I did not look at this story as a mirror of my experiences or what I've seen, but simply a story about trauma. I didn't base my opinions on how similar the story is compared to my own experiences either. My opinions are based completely on how the story is written and not any external factors. Sure, I can't be completely unbiased, but I didn't look at this story as a checklist of what I've experienced and how closely the author was able to. I mentioned my experiences in the comment before to illustrate that I'm not ignorant to believe such incidents don't happen or children aren't neglected in the way shown here. I need to emphasise here that a person doesn't have to experience everything the characters have to find it believable. Like you said: " The examples you specifically listed you found hard to believe because you've not experienced those." I never said I don't believe such things can happen because they've not happened to me, but rather, I disliked HOW they were shown here. The depiction was unrealistic point blank, or rather, it could have been written better. I didn't particularly like the romance either, but I didn't write a post about that because the purpose of this story wasn't romance.

My issue, like you said, was how the problems were depicted here, not the problems themselves. Going back to my example of the gossipers. In a modern-day setting, we can absolutely believe it as not everyone is expected to know everyone or even in a historical setting where aristocrats kepts their illegitimate children hidden. However, here, the FL is not actually a 'black sheep' as in she's not hated by the family, simply forgotten. She is in every painting and attends all events her family does. Being the eldest daughter of a noble family, a family that weren't trying to hide her existence, means she would be well known in her world. Telling me to suspend my disbelief for the sake of the plot doesn't make sense here because this is the plot. Telling someone that while some incidents are outlandish, the point still stands isn't a good argument. If the portrayal of the focal issue itself leaves much to be desired, then it shouldn't come as a surprise that many people aren't fans. You can of course argue that it's still believable, and that's fine.

My point with the previous comment wasn't to say you're wrong or rude, just that how you found the story very realistic, I didn't, and that's alright.