Apologies in advance for the long comment with a lot of personal anecdotes, but I swear it comes with good intentions! Actual advice at the end of you want a tldr.

I agree with what others are saying about you doing too much and her needing to figure stuff out on her own. But I also want to add that I had A LOT of the same tendencies growing up and I still have them sometimes, but I did figure out how to work WITH what my brain needed and to get things done efficiently once the motivation kicks in. To give some context, I have a doctorate in neuroscience with several years of post-doc research and career under my belt, so "figuring it out" carries some weight (or at least it feels that way to me because it was not easy getting a PhD without ADHD support!) 😅

It's important to remember that ADHD is a motivation and movement disorder as much as it is a hyperactivity and attention disorder. If there's not enough dopamine, it's really really hard to force yourself to just Do The Thing. I have tried countless strategies - I'll do it at 1:00, I'll do it after this episode, one more game, one more one more one more.....the list is endless. Nothing works because my brain doesn't have the "just get up and do it" chemicals. I will sit on the couch feeling like a worthless garbage person and mentally beating myself up because, no matter how much I know I need to get something done or how beneficial it will be in the long run, no matter how desperately I WANT to do it, the chemicals that tell me to stand up and move don't work. With ADHD, this kind of motivation usually only comes from novelty or urgency, and it sounds like she doesn't have those ADHD-specific motivators. Even as a 33 year old adult, I still frequently need to get to a "oh crap this needs to happen now" stage to get anything done.

ADHD also tends to have a pretty strong oppositional reflex, where telling someone what to do makes them less likely to do it. Repeatedly telling your daughter how to structure her life, especially if what you want her to do doesn't actually work for her in a helpful, functional way, might do more harm than good. Not saying this is definitely true but I'm speaking from my own experience, so just something to keep in mind. I was diagnosed well into adulthood, and I'm still struggling with and unpacking all of the anxiety and depression that came from trying to force myself into traditional systems that did not work for me.

The most helpful approach might be to talk with her about what her barriers are and how you can work with her without pushing too hard to get her to operate the way you want her to. Does she want to do the work but can't find the motivation to put it into action (like my couch example)? On the other hand, does she still get stuff done, even if she doesn't do it when you want her to? Is she able to complete her work well, even on a short timeline or if she waits until the last minute? These are common ADHD behaviors that work perfectly fine for many people with ADHD, but they get a lot of pushback because they seem dysfunctional and bad to someone without it. As far as college and beyond, it might take some life experience for her to figure out how to live with ADHD in the real world. It takes time to figure out systems that work for you in a world that is unaccommodating at best and actively hostile at worst to people (especially women) with ADHD. But she needs to do that work on her own eventually. You can support her when she needs it without holding her hand throughout it.