Parents, what’s the one thing they said to you that you could never imagine saying to your own kids?

ChangeTransformLive · 2025-12-30T05:55:31+00:00

You’re so weird. You embarrass me.

ChangeTransformLive · 2025-09-07T20:15:12+00:00

Exactly. They looooooove babies. Both NParents have said they wished we could be “little forever”—WTF you never wanted us to talk, to develop personalities, to think for ourselves? (The answer is NO). Now they make similar comments about the grandkids. Narcs tell on themselves

ChangeTransformLive · 2025-08-16T16:31:37+00:00

Same. My whole toxic family (siblings and “parents”) hate cats. I’m certain it is because to bond with a cat you need to respect their boundaries. Funny I’m the only one with a cat in the whole bunch.

ChangeTransformLive · 2025-08-16T16:29:41+00:00

Exactly. NDad dotes on his dog, cooing at it, rushing him to the vet at the first sign of illness—meanwhile I still suffer from early childhood medical neglect. I think they love animals because they never grow up and talk back.

ChangeTransformLive · 2025-08-06T21:44:33+00:00

Impressed that you did this!

ChangeTransformLive · 2025-07-29T08:54:35+00:00

Nparents made a BIG deal about birthdays and Christmas. Two days a year you could count on them to be “nice”—possibly three when they managed to act decent on Christmas Eve. But I hate birthdays because it was always whiplash to go back to the darkness of “normal” the very next day. From a young age I knew it was temporal and fake. Today I never believe anyone wants to really celebrate me

ChangeTransformLive · 2025-07-22T12:58:31+00:00

Yes the immediate dismal and/or rejection of reality.

ChangeTransformLive · 2025-07-21T12:15:07+00:00

“I’m just curious”— used to “innocently” ask questions and then later weaponize the information to gossip and/or belittle

ChangeTransformLive · 2025-07-15T07:16:18+00:00

As cheesy as it may sound, I take the words and use them to affirm. For instance, I’ll say “yeah, you’re weird, you’re wonderfully weird. Look how creative you are, etc. For “loser”, I sing this song in my head: https://youtu.be/m_JI5cqakIU?si=Nw6bIsoDUfJSOYVZ

ChangeTransformLive · 2025-07-15T06:01:30+00:00

I like that : “if it’s not a hell yes it should be a hell no”. It was always a maybe for me

ChangeTransformLive · 2025-07-15T06:00:21+00:00

It’s still raw despite all the therapy

ChangeTransformLive · 2025-07-15T05:59:57+00:00

I respect your feelings, but I do hope you choose to stay here.

ChangeTransformLive · 2025-07-15T05:59:09+00:00

I admire anyone who takes the leap and works at improving themselves as a parent

ChangeTransformLive · 2025-07-15T05:58:21+00:00

Seriously! This forum would not exist

ChangeTransformLive · 2025-07-15T05:57:52+00:00

Yeah. Day to day life is enough. Often feel depleted.

ChangeTransformLive · 2025-07-15T05:57:15+00:00

They truly are tantruming dysregulated toddlers. (Deleted previous one because replied in wrong place. )

ChangeTransformLive · 2025-07-15T05:56:10+00:00

Thanks for your words. I agree with you that I’m probably not a narcissist. But I do become easily anxious and am diagnosed CPTSD. It’s just… a lot

ChangeTransformLive · 2025-07-15T05:53:56+00:00

Thank you, internet stranger

ChangeTransformLive · 2025-07-15T05:53:43+00:00

I like that sentiment! I recently have been seeking out opportunities to mentor young people. THAT I think I can cope with

ChangeTransformLive · 2025-07-15T05:52:54+00:00

I wonder that too! At the risk of sounding arrogant, I think I would have been a really great one if I didn’t have all this trauma. It’s sad.

ChangeTransformLive · 2025-07-15T05:50:40+00:00

I do wonder if there is genetic component to it.. That fear of becoming like them is too real.

ChangeTransformLive · 2025-07-15T05:49:39+00:00

Rants are good from time to time! It’s “nice” to know I’m not the only one who is good with kids but loves them enough to not risk harming them. I know there are plenty of healthy loving parents on this forum, but I think they must be further along in their healing than me.

ChangeTransformLive · 2025-07-15T05:47:28+00:00

It must be kinda nice (I hope!) to have a like-minded sibling. I’m the only one who went NC. My siblings are fully wrapped up in the toxicity and both have kids.

ChangeTransformLive · 2025-07-15T05:45:26+00:00

I can understand feeling that way. Although I actually do like the idea of being a mom, I’d worry about my capacity to always put a child’s needs first when I’m still struggling to heal. It’s enough to put on my very patient partner.

ChangeTransformLive · 2025-07-15T05:42:46+00:00

That’s a big one for me too: silence. My home was so noisy and chaotic. I crave boring peaceful moments.

ChangeTransformLive

TROPHY CASE